Walking Away
by Jayeliwood
Summary: They had known each other for so long and loved each other for such a short amount of time when he left for the war. What would be waiting for him when he returned? Would she still be the one by his side or would his world come crumbling down?
1. Chapter 1

_**I'll say this only once: I own nothing!**_

_**I want to thank my girls for supporting me with this story. **_

_**I'll chat more with you guys at the bottom!**_

**Prologue:**

**Walking Away**

She pressed her mouth hungrily to mine, her lips feeling like the softest of velvet and tasting like the sweetest of fruits. We didn't have much time but I couldn't pull away, not from her, not when she felt like this. Her tongue slipped into my mouth and I sucked on it greedily, having to have more and more. I couldn't have enough of her taste. Her fingers laced into my hair, knocking my hat to the ground, not that it was really noticed. My fingers wrapped around the back of her neck, gently pulling her closer.

"I don't want you to go." She mumbled through her tears, barely moving her lips away from mine to talk.

"You know I have to." I said softly, pecking her lips once. I could taste the saltiness there, hating knowing that she was crying because of me. I never wanted her in tears, especially over me. She was too beautiful to cry.

Bella shook her head hard, a broken sob leaving her lips before answering. "No, there are other soldiers. They don't need you. I need you!"

"You knew... this is what I wanted. What I wanted to do." I said half heartedly. I didn't know what to say, if there was anything else I could say.

"Don't you want me? Don't you love me?" She began to cry harder, her fingers clutching tightly at my uniform.

"Bella! You know I do! I love you more than anything else in this world and when this war is over I'm going to come back here and marry you." I said as my fingers traced over her cheeks.

She shook her head again, her eyes unseeing. I knew she was becoming irrational but there was nothing I could do to stop it. "No. You can't go."

I kissed her again, not knowing what else to stay to her. I only had an hour to get to the station to meet up with my company. I didn't want to waste a minute of it like this. She met my kiss, giving me back as much I was giving her. Her fingers clutched at my jacket tighter, fisting the material. I moaned into her kiss as my arms wrapped around her waist.

"I love you," I said in a low whisper, kissing her again. "I will come back to you. You are my life."

"You better," Bella answered almost angrily as she forced her mouth to mine again.

I easily picked her up, her bare feet dangling off the ground. Her warm body was pressed tightly against mine and even through the heavy dress I could feel every curve. I had only seen her delicate body once and that had been a week ago when I found out I was being sent out. She gave herself fully to me that night, begging me to take her. I think she hoped that the allure of her body would keep me here. And, by god, it was more than a little tempting. But, I couldn't do that.

I needed to do this, or at least that's what I kept telling myself. As her legs wrapped around my body, it was harder and harder to convince myself of that.

"Please," she begged quietly. "Please..."

"Please, what?" I asked, lightly kissing her neck.

"Take me," Bella murmured. "Stay. I can't be without you."

The same words left her mouth the night we were together, the night I claimed her. The same one's left mine in response. "I can't, my darling."

"Take me," she chanted over and over again, her mouth finding mine again. I groaned at the contact, walking her towards the bed in the corner of the small room. It wasn't much but it was her home. This place held so many happy memories for me. I didn't want to have the possibly last one I made to be a sad one. So, I did the only thing I knew how...

I took her.

Ever so gently I laid her down in the middle of the bed, hovering over her. I began to fidget with the buttons but soon became frustrated in my hurry. Bella took over for me, pushing my hands down towards her skirt.

With a speed and agility I did not think she had, her blouse was pulled away. When I saw that she had nothing underneath her skirt I realized that she had planned this. I knew what she was doing and I would not, or could not, stop her. She was trying to make me late on purpose. I could not blame her for it. Being with her like this made me want to be late. All I wanted was her warm soft body molded to mine.

"Take me." She repeated again, lifting up to slide the jacket over my shoulders. I could not tell her no.

My eyes raked over her body hungrily, taking her all in. I instantly reacted, stiffening at the sight of her full chest, flat stomach, and heavily curved hips. She was mine, all mine. There was no turning back now. I had to claim her.

I didn't even bother to take off my shirt, simply pulling my pants down. I knew it was not romantic or sweet, like she deserved, but there was no time for that. With one quick motion I was between her legs, pressed deep inside of her warm body. She groaned softly, wrapping her legs tightly around my waist.

"I am yours, forever." She moaned as I moved in and out of her at a pace that was quickly becoming maddening. I knew neither one of us could keep up long like this. It was too much. Too much emotion and too much sensation. I was already about to burst as she spoke. "No one else. I will love no one else. You have to come back to me."

"I will," I answered breathlessly, looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes.

Her body arched sharply, pressing herself upward into me. I gasped, my eyes rolling back into my head as I felt her clench tightly around me. "Oh, Jasper..." She gasped as her eyes shut tightly, saying it almost like a prayer. My beautiful angel moaned for me. Only me. Her body was only mine. It was too much to handle. I quickly lost myself, lost all control, spilling deep within her.

I laid down on top of her after a moment, resting my forehead against her shoulder. Her grip on my hips tightened, her fingers going into my hair again. She was clutching me to her, willing me to stay with her. It broke my heart that I could not. I kissed her neck lightly, whispering in her ear. "I love you."

She began to sob with the words, her tiny body shaking underneath mine. "I love you, too."

"Trust me, we'll have them beat in month, darlin. Those Yankees don't have anything on us." I tried to reassure her. I gave her a deep kiss, giving her all my love before pushing myself up before I didn't have the strength to move. I had to get ready. I just had to pray they wouldn't leave without me.

She huffed angrily, pulling the quilt up and around her body then rolling to her side so that she was facing the wall. I sighed, tucking in my shirt after pulling up my pants and finding my jacket.

"I don't want to say goodbye to your back." I told her, picking up my hat and placing it on my head.

"Then don't say goodbye then." She said, not moving.

I sighed. No, this was not the way I wanted to do this, but it needed to be done. I walked to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. I leaned over, whispering in her ear. "One month. That's it. If that. And then I'll come back and make you Mrs. Isabella Whitlock." With that, I pressed my lips firmly to her cheek, moving my hand over her arm and taking her hand for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I love you, Bella. So much."

When she didn't say anything I closed my eyes, sighing heavily. This was worse than the tears. I hated doing this to her. I nuzzled her neck for one last moment, reveling in the softness before pulling away. I needed the memory of her flesh against mine. I was just about out of the door when I heard her speak softly.

"I love you, too, Jasper. Always."

**First off... Okay, how many of you figured out it Jasper and the civil war? **

**Second, let me explain how this story is going to work so there is no confusion... _PLEASE READ!_**

**I've written this mostly while I was waiting for my daughter to be born. I made the chapters rather short, between 1500 to 2000 words so it would be easy to write. Not a lot of filler in this. Because these chapters are so short I will be updated 5 days a week. Monday through Friday. No, I will not update everyday, got to give me a break sometime. I'm almost completely done with this story... maybe 10 to 15 chapters left at the most. I know that sounds like a lot, but since I already have around 30 written, it's not. **

**Third, let me say this... I'm not saying weather this is a cannon or non cannon story. That's something you have to find out for yourself. That's a MAJOR part of this story. But, all characters are in it. And, it's not all lemons. Yeah, I know some of you will be disappointed in that, but this is a an actually story with a plot line from me, for once lol Be amazed!**

**This is just the taste, the prologue. Regular updates start on Monday the 13th. If you want to find out about my other stories, please go to my profile. **

**Oh, and to let you know, I have a Facebook page. It's jayeliwood05 at yahoo dot com if you want to find it. You can check out baby pictures if you want. **

**This is my first Angst, so go gentle on me. But, what did you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to thank everyone for the lovely response to the prologue! As promised, Chapter one. And since it was such a nice response, I'm going to post a couple hours early. Yay for you!**

Five years. Five long years is how long I had been gone. Away from humanity. Away from civil thinking. Away from love. Away from my Bella. It felt like I had been cast out of heaven and sent to a hell. But, I was being returned now. Returned to heaven and to my angel.

The war had been over for several months now, but it had taken me this long to get back down to my home in Texas. I was all the way in New York when it ended, in a prisoner of war camp, and I had to work my way back down. It was a slow journey. I took odd jobs for money for my spurts of travel, hunting for the food I needed to survive. I was barely doing that. Surviving seemed like a strange concept. The war had taken so much out of me, out of everyone.

I had saved up enough for two important things though over the past six months. A nice suit and a gold wedding band.

I knew exactly where I was going. It was my first stop, the most important one. I would go to my parent's home later. I had to see her first. I had to fulfill a promise I made so long ago.

My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as I marched through the forest to Bella's home. I was all too excited. I could not wait to see her. I wondered how she grew up. She was a young woman when I left her, barely sixteen. Now she was almost twenty one. I wondered if she would still find me handsome, even with my scars. I was not coming back to her a whole man, but hopefully with time she could change that. If anyone could heal my pain, it would be her.

None of that mattered. I simply had to see her. I had to know she was alright.

As I came closer my palms became sweaty from nerves. Though it could have been the Texas heat in this hot wool suit. I wouldn't change anything in the world though. The moment I saw her had to be perfect. I didn't want to come back to her looking broken. I was almost to sight of it now and I have an errant hope that perhaps I wouldn't be wearing the suit for much longer once I saw her again. The idea made me grin wickedly. I knew it was a sin, but I wanted her.

Finally the cabin came within view, the light shining down on it from heaven. It was almost like it was a beacon saying 'an angel lives her.' It was still in good repair, making my heart leap with joy. That meant she was still here. It meant I'd be seeing my Bella soon.

I heard an odd sound, a loud high pitched squeal. It was not an unhappy noise though. I saw a little boy, around the age of four, come streaking from around the corner of the back of the house, a large smile plastered on his face. My heart nearly dropped as I saw him. I knew that look. I knew those features.

Wild blond hair, bright blue eyes, full rounded cheeks. He looked exactly as my brother did at that age. He looked exactly like I did.

"ERIN JASPER DO NOT RUN!" I heard an all too familiar voice cry out, confirming my now frantic thoughts. Five years. I had a son. I had a child. Bella had my child.

Excitement and happiness ran through me and then fear and sorrow. I had missed so much. What had she gone through while I was gone? How did she care for him?

I had become so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that the small child was standing before me, tugging on my woolen jacket. "Who are you?" He asked in a tiny voice, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. Innocences, something I had long forgotten, played in his every feature.

I knelt down, looking at him directly in the eye. He smiled as I lowered myself, obviously enjoying on being the same level as an adult. "My name is..." I began, but stopped when I heard her voice.

"Erin, honey, how many times have I told you to not run without any shoes on. You're going to break a leg one day." I heard her complain but stop very suddenly and gasp. My eyes took her in, going from top to bottom before locking onto her eyes. She was fuller than before, more womanly. More beautiful if that even was possible. I smiled slowly as I watched the all too familiar blush flood her full cheeks. "Jasper!"

"Yes, mommy?" The little boy asked, confused.

Bella shook her head, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "G-go into-o the house and check and check..." she stuttered, unable to get her words out. I smiled, going back to my full height. She didn't even have to finish her sentence before the young man respond.

"Alright, mommy." He said before dashing off back towards the front door. He went inside, leaving the door partially open.

"Is... is it? Is it really you?" She said, a hand on her chest as she stepped closer. Her eyes squinted, like she couldn't believe them.

"In the flesh," I grinned, moving closer to her. "You're still as beautiful as I remembered."

She flushed, looking down at her feet. "You're taller," was all she said.

I laughed, stepping close enough to touch her. I lifted her chin up with one finger, making her brown eyes meet my blue ones. "I was a boy back then. I've grown. I was only seventeen..."

She moved quickly, taking both of her hands and placing it on my own, pressing it onto her cheek. She closed her eyes, tears sliding down her flesh. "I've missed you, so much."

"I missed you too, honey." I whispered, leaning closer. "I can't believe I was gone so long."

With those words her eyes snapped open, and I realized something, they were no longer filled with surprise. They were filled with anger.

"A month you told me! A month you'd be away and then you'd be back. Back to make me your bride. Mrs. Jasper Whitlock. Five years, Jasper! Five!" She was screaming towards the end, her hands falling up in fists at her side. "Do you? Do you know what I have gone through? The pain?"

"I had nothing when you left! No father, no mother! I was alone, in the woods." She shouted, slamming her balled up fists into my chest. "I barely survived! And then, I was pregnant! Do you know how I was treated? Do you know how scared I was?"

"I'm sorry!" I shouted back in a lame response. I knew it would never do. "I would have never left if I had known. I would have married you before hand! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry? SORRY?!" She screamed, tears flowing heavily down her face. "I died when you left me. And when I had him, when I had your son, I died a little more each day, looking at his face. At your face! Because I thought you were never coming back to me. FIVE YEARS JASPER WHITLOCK!"

Bella collapsed, her anger and energy spent. I caught her before she could hit the ground, gathering her in my arms. She sobbed brokenly, her fingers tightly curling in my jacket, the same way it had done so many years ago. I rocked her back and forth, softly hushing her.

"I died," she mumbled over and over again. I was barely able to make out her words as she spoke. "I thought you were dead..."

"No, I couldn't leave you. I love you. I'm here now and I'll never leave you again." I whispered, pulling her chin up once more to look into my eyes. Tear stained and red, but still perfect. I began to lean forward slowly, her lips a breath away from mine. I wanted to kiss her lips, taste her sweetness I had so missed. Her eyes grew wide, her full lips parting as she began to pant with anticipation of what was about to happen. Her sweet scent filled my nose, putting me on the best high. We were so close...

There was a soft cry behind us. It was not that one of a toddler, but of an infant. A moment later the young boy poked his head out of the door, looking for his mother. "Momma, Vanessa's awake." He stated simply before going back inside.

She closed her eyes as she began to shake, tears sliding more heavily than before. Guilt practically rolled off of her body in heavy waves. I started to breathe heavily as what was happening began to dawn on me.

"Vanessa?"

**Okay, I hope you guys are still interested in this story after this chapter! There is a lot to come! And like I said before, I won't tell you if this is cannon or not. You'll have to work that out for yourself in the end.**

**Also, I should let you know that his is entirely JPOV, but at some point I may write something from another POV if there is a big enough out crying for it. We'll see. **

**So, can you see the angst building? Do you like it?**


	3. Chapter 3

She backed away slowly, her face down and her eyes closed. "You were dead." Her voice was barely a whisper in the wind.

"As you can see, I am very much alive. Who is Vanessa?" I nearly growled, anger flaring up in me. Someone else had touched my Bella, touched my angel. I was going to kill them._ If anyone hurt her... _

"I was all alone, Jasper." Bella nearly pleaded. "I thought you were gone..."

"Who. Is. Vanessa?!" I shouted even though I knew the answer. It was obvious that this wasn't a forced occurrence but I simply could not accept it. I didn't want to.

"My daughter..." She whispered, shame dripping in her voice.

"Who? Who did this to you? I'll kill them!" I shouted, my entire being shaking with the rage and pain I was feeling.

"YOU WERE GONE!" She screamed at me, her face blood red and starting to turn purple. The one thing we always had in common was our temper. Quick to ignite and always red hot.

"WHO? WHO'S IS SHE?"

"My husband's!" She growled, effectively stabbing a knife into my heart. I felt myself stumble back with the force of her response, the answer killing me.

The cry from the house became louder and the little boy, my son, poked his head out the door again. This time in his arms was a small infant, no more than eight months, clutched to his chest. She had a lot of Bella in her, her face and lips especially, but her hair was a vivid and wild red, her eyes very obviously green, even from across the yard I could see them. The little girl's face was red and splotchy, tiny whimpers escaping her lips. Erin bounced her gently, trying to calm her.

"Mommy, I think she's hungry. She keeps trying to bite me." Erin said in frustration, huffing loudly when the baby squealed, chewing on her own fist. She must have been teething.

Bella sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. I watched as she swallowed her emotions and turned to our son, trying to put on a brave face. "You're probably right, sweetie. Why don't you go put her in the chair and I'll come make you two some lunch?"

"Can we have biscuits and honey?" He asked excitedly, oblivious to the fact that his sister was starting to gnaw on the collar of his shirt.

"Yes, you can. We already have some biscuits made. Go put your sister in her chair and I'll be there in a minute, alright?" Bella said in a motherly voice.

The boy cheered happily, going back into the house with the baby perched on his hip, her curls bouncing as he skipped inside. Bella slowly turned back to me, her arms crossing over her chest. I knew that action all too well. It was the one she did when she was trying not to show her emotions. When she was trying to hold herself together. She always hated to show weakness.

"Come in the house. We have food." It was not a question or a request. She turned quickly and started to walk towards the cabin that we made so many memories in. Where we made our child. The cabin she now shared with her husband.

I followed behind her numbly. Even if I was angry, I could not be away from her. Not now.

As I walked inside I realized that the home had been expanded. I wondered why I had not noticed it before. It looked like someone had knocked out the back wall, adding on several rooms along with a bigger kitchen. The small bedroom we once made love in was now a living area with a table and a couch, still open to the kitchen. It wasn't perfect, but you could see the love that had been put into it to make it a proper home.

Vanessa was in a wooden high chair at the end of the table, Erin sitting beside her. He was patiently waiting for his mother, playing with some carved wooden animals, making little growling noises and prancing them around the table top. Bella went straight to work, moving around the kitchen to gather everything she needed.

Her back was turned to me, pulling out two plates and a bowl. Not having her look at me somehow gave me the courage to talk.

"Who is he?"

The question effectively stopped her in mid movement, her fingers dropping a biscuit onto one of the plates. "You don't know him." She said once she found her voice once again. She picked up another one of the baked goods and began to tear it into pieces, dropping them into the bowl.

"I'd still like to know" I responded sadly.

"Masen. Edward Masen. He's a doctor." Bella turned, taking one of the plates and the bowl to the table. She placed the bowl in front of the baby and she squealed loudly, her tiny fist going happily after the bread. It crumbled in her fingertips, but it didn't seem to slow her down. Erin grabbed a jar from the center of the table and poured on a heavy dose of honey, making a small mess in the process.

"How did you meet him?" I continued to question. I was a glutton for punishment, I suppose. I had to know.

She growled in frustration, throwing something hard onto the other plate. Whatever it was for sure harder than a biscuit and I was glad it was not heading my way. "I almost died, Jasper. Erin was turned the wrong way. Edward saved me."

"So, you were so grateful you married him?" I knew the question was hateful but I couldn't keep it from coming out.

"You! You have no right! You have no idea. I was treated like a common whore! Edward didn't treat me that way. He courted me-"

"Courted you?! You weren't his to court! You were mine!" I hissed in response.

"Yours? I am not property, Jasper Whitlock. And, do you know when the last letter from you came? Three months after you left. I wrote you a letter every Sunday for three years. I had no idea where you were! The last battle I knew you were in for sure was a year and a half before I stopped. I couldn't take it anymore. Do you know how lonely I was? How alone? Edward didn't care that I had a child by another man. Edward loved me no matter what!"

"Edward... Edward... Edward..." I said bitterly. "Did your precious doctor ever make you feel-"

She cut me off before I could finish. "He never made me feel alone."

"I was in a prison camp, Bella. For almost two years."

"At least you were safe. At least you were away from the fighting." She mumbled the last part, almost to herself.

"I was caged like an animal." I said angrily.

"Better than being dead." She spouted back quickly, cutting off any argument I had planned.

I scoffed, turning my face to the side. "Not so sure about that now."

She ignored the comment, going to the stove and ladled something from a large cast iron pot onto the plate. Bella turned and shoved the food into my hands. She gave me a spoon, not even looking in my direction. I wanted to see her eyes so badly, see what she was thinking.

"Mommy, can I have some milk?" My son asked, his faced covered in sticky honey and crumbs.

"Oh, sorry baby, of course." Bella replied absently, her voice drained and limp.

I watched as she fluttered about the kitchen, pouring milk into two cups from a pretty china pitcher that I didn't remember from before. Edward must have done well for himself, at least. I began to eat, trying to push away the thoughts. Even in my annoyance I was unable to not to enjoy her cooking. I dug into the stew, shoveling it into my mouth.

"You're still a great cook," I mumbled through a bite of food.

She took the milk to the young boy, leaning over to kiss the top of his head lightly before turning back to the counter top. She handed me the glass of milk, looking down as she spoke. "Thank you."

With all our frustration spent an awkward silence filled the space. I didn't know what to say so I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"What is his birthday?"

"December twenty fifth," she commented absently, only looking at the blond child.

I sat down my plate, no longer hungry. "A little gift."

"He is," she smiled, gazing at me for a moment.

And, then I heard the words that shattered my heart. "Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?"

**Of course you guys figured out that she was married to Edward. I like Edward in this story, btw. He did nothing wrong and neither did Bella, for those of you who have said she's cheated. Five years is a long time to be alone. Bella isn't a bad guy, just to let you know. **

**I'm really amazed by the wonderful response to this story! It makes me so happy. You guys have no idea how much I love this story. It's good to know that others like it was well. **


	4. Chapter 4

"He thinks that..." I trailed off in a harsh whisper. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that she hid this from him. "He doesn't know?"

"I think it's time for you to leave, Jasper." Her voice displayed no emotion, but her eyes were pained.

"But, he's my son!" I shouted loudly, making the baby cry.

How could she? How could she do this to me? After all I had gone through. My son didn't even know I was his father.

Bella rushed to the girl, picking her up and hushing her quietly for a long minute. Finally she turned her angry gaze on me, her eyes blurred with tears. "No, he's mine. Now get out of my house."

"But-"

"Get out now!" She screamed, fresh tears flowing freely down her face.

With a fleeting glance towards my son, who was now clutching his mother's leg and looking confused at our heated exchange, I turned and left, leaving her the same way I did all those years ago. With her back turned to me.

I had only two things on my mind after that point. Finding a very tall, very strong, drink and finding this doctor that stole my angel and child from me.

I walked the three miles into town, completely numb. My body moved even though it felt like my heart was gone. A part of me was gone. Bella was my soul. She was my reason for living for all those years. She was the reason I fought, the reason I tried to survive and she wasn't even mine now. And then to find out I had a son, a son that didn't even know I existed. It was like being killed and brought back to life, just to be killed again.

I went into the first saloon I came across, a newer building on the edge of town. Everything seemed to change since I had been gone and I didn't know how to handle it. Or, if I could even. If I even wanted to deal...

The place was fairly empty except for a few patrons either nursing beers or eating a late lunch. I plopped myself down at an empty bar stool, barking my order of whiskey to the back of the burly barkeeper. I couldn't be bothered to wait for him to turn around.

He poured it without a word, probably annoyed with my rudeness, but when he turned he stopped abruptly. "Well, I'll be damned. If it ain't Jasper Whitlock."

"Do I know you?" I asked, taking a heavy drink from the tumbler. It burned as it slid down my throat, making the pit of my stomach tingle as it filled me. I hadn't eaten much, not in a long time, and I knew I'd be drunk quick. It was probably a good thing. I didn't want to be sober at the moment.

"Emmett. Emmett McCarty. But, I don't expect you remember me. I was just a boy when you left." He threw his towel over his shoulder, smiling at me brightly.

"You ain't a boy now." I commented dryly as I looked over his large stature. He was a bear of a man, to say the very least. Though he did have a baby face, making it hard to guess his age.

He chuckled, refilling my glass. "No, I'm not. I own this here place, by the way."

"Well, I am glad you've done well for yourself." I said politely enough, looking down into the amber liquid. I swirled it in my glass, not looking at him. I wasn't really up for conversation at the moment.

"Thank ya," he smiled and then his face changed, like an idea just popped into his mind. "I need to tell Rosie. She'll want to see you."

"Rosie?" I asked, not bothering to lift my head as I took another drink. It was empty again and I wanted another.

"Rosalie! Come here, baby! I have someone down here you might want to see!"

My head snapped up at the sound of my sister's name. Seeing my family was not at the forefront of my mind at the moment and I had no idea she'd be in a place like this.

Blond and beautiful as ever, Rosalie came down the stairs, looking rather annoyed. "What the hell do you need, Emmett? I'm in the middle of some-"

Her blue eyes went wide and she gasped loudly, her hand going to her throat. "Hello, Rosalie." I said calmly, standing up from the stool to walk up to her. We stood at the base of the stairs for a long moment, just looking each other over.

"You're dead." She stated in shock.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I muttered, but she ignored it and went on.

"When? When did you get back?"

"Just now." I stated simply. She did not need to know all the details.

It's like it all clicked into place and she figured out I was not a ghost. Her arms wrapped my neck tightly, squeezing me for all she was worth. "OH, MY GOD, JASPER! I have missed you. Have you seen Mother and Carlisle yet?"

I closed my eyes, feeling slightly guilty for looking for a drink first and not my Mother and step father. I should have done it but I didn't know if I could handle seeing them. I was a broken man and all I wanted to do was crawl into the bottle and never leave.

"No, I just got in." I lied. "I needed a drink first." That part wasn't a lie.

"Oh! You have to see them! So much has happened!" She gushed. "You've already met my husband."

"Husband?"

"Emmett," she rolled her eyes and smiling.

I looked over my shoulder at the big man now cleaning the slick wooden top. He didn't seem like enough for my sister but he was a business owner. That said something. Mother and Carlisle obviously approved, so I would just have to get to know him.

"We're having dinner with them tonight. You should come with us! They'd be so surprised!" Rosalie said happily, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I have things to do first." I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

"What do you have to do that is so important that you'll miss seeing your parents?" She said in a disapproving tone.

"I need to find a doctor."

"Why don't you just ask Carlisle to..." she stopped, it dawning on her. "You saw her first, didn't you?"

Rosalie never liked Bella, even when we were children. When we came to this town after our Father and younger brother died and our mother married Dr. Carlisle Cullen, she was the first child we met. Bella was playing outside the sheriff's office, covered in dirt and playing with a ragged doll. At the time her father was the law and without a mother, she stayed out there all day, entertaining herself in town. Rosalie thought she was dirty and silly little idiot. Just an annoyance. She was always clean and proper. But, I think I fell in love with her that same day when we were just children.

I shook my head at the first memory, willing it away. I couldn't think about it then. I turned my attention back on my waiting sister. "What of it?"

"It's not worth it. She's not worth it." She stated with a heavy sigh.

"She's not...? I don't care if you don't like her. But, the boy, he's... he's my..."

"Yes, I know." She said, arms crossed over her chest. "So do Carlisle and Mother."

"Does everyone know?" I asked, looking down at my feet.

"Jasper, he's your exact copy! How could we not know?! Bella came to us, came to father when she figured it out. He cared for her until he was called away."

"Called away?"

She sighed, "the war. He went to Baton Rouge to help the wounded. He was almost gone a year. Edward came as a replacement of sorts."

"Edward..." I growled his name.

"Jasper! I may not like Bella, but she was broken after you left. Edward... Edward is a good match for her. He treats her well. He loves and respects her. He even asked Carlisle's permission to marry her, when the time came."

"He gave them permission? Why? And why would he even ask Father?"

"They took her in for a long time after she found out she was pregnant, up until she showed. She didn't want to make us look bad when everyone figured it out. She still considers them her family, and them too. Erin calls them grandma and grandpa."

"But, he doesn't know about me!" I said, confused.

"Jasper, he's a child. He doesn't understand such things. He just knows that they dote on him, and love him. And, he loves them."

"It's not fair." I complained, crossing my arms over my chest. I knew I was acting like a child but I couldn't help it. The liquor wasn't helping either. I was never a nice drunk.

"Life isn't fair." She stated in annoyance. Her patience with me had ran out. It wasn't surprising. That was one thing she didn't have much of, ever.

"Look, can you tell me where his office is?"

"Edward's ?" She stalled. I could see it in her eyes.

"Yes, of course Edward's, who else? I need to speak to him." I growled low so no one else could hear me.

"Speak to him? I doubt that. You were never good at just 'speaking' to anyone." She rolled her big blue eyes.

"Just tell me Rosalie!" I nearly shouted, getting Emmett's attention. He cleared his throat but Rosalie waved him on, signaling that she could handle me.

"Fine, Jasper. I'll tell you. Just go to Father's office."

"Just tell me." I scoffed, losing my patience's completely now. If she didn't say soon I was going to simply walk out and find him myself. "There is no need to bring father into this."

"That's where he is. He works with Carlisle."

**Dum dum da... Okay, you'll hear that a lot in this story. I have to warn you, there are a TON of cliffhangers. It makes the story fun though. **

**I want to thank everyone for their awesome support of Bella, if you did. Just to warn you though... Jasper isn't a happy camper right now... He does angst well. But, he always did, didn't he? But you'll see... lol Sorry to be a tease!**


	5. Chapter 5

I stomped out of the bar after that. Betrayed. That's exactly what I had been. The people I had all turned their back on me. No, they did worse than that. They forgot about me. It was like I never existed.

I was going to bash the face in of that doctor everyone seemed so keen on. My blood was boiling and the liquor was twisting in my stomach, fueling my anger. I had to let it out before I exploded and I knew exactly where I wanted to direct my anger.

I had walked this way so many times. My feet knew the way without even thinking. I had helped my step father in his practice many a time, but I was never cut out to be a doctor. I never had a gentle enough touch that was needed for such matters. It just wasn't in my blood.

I walked up to the brick building and simply gaped at the front. A sign hung proudly in the front which stated, 'Dr. Edward Masen and Dr. Carlisle Cullen, M.D'. I gritted my teeth and balled up my fist, forcing myself forward. This just cemented the betrayal, in my eyes. But, I couldn't think about that now. I would deal with Carlisle later.

A tiny bell went off when I opened the door, signaling my entry. The front room was much the way I remembered it. There was a desk covered with papers and an examine table for minor cases, a doorway leading back to storage and the rooms for surgery and recovery along with other delicate matters, not that they were used often.

A small child was on the table today, tears staining his dirty cheeks. His mother stood beside him, looking rather frantic. Standing in front of him was the person I assumed ruined my life. It had to be. It certainly not the man I once called father.

He was not what I expected, though I'm not sure what I did. Maybe a monster of a man, frightful and scary. That certainly wasn't the case.

The doctor was a younger man with wild red hair, matching that of his daughter's. His eyes were also the same vivid green. He was shorter than me, pale, and baby faced. And, he wasn't scarred like me. He was well dressed, pressed white shirt with nice slacks and a black vest, golden framed glasses on his nose as he examined the child's arm.

Well, I certainly couldn't beat him to a bloody pulp while he was helping a child.

"I'm sorry but it'll be a minute. Dr. Cullen will be back in to help you in a moment. He's just getting something from the back." The bastard said in a thick Irish accent. That explained the hair.

"I'll wait," I said tersely, leaning up against the wall in the office.

"Now, what have you learned about climbing trees?" He said to the young boy as he wrapped some fabric tightly around a stint. He must have broken it, or at the very least, sprained it. With each new layer of cloth the boy winced.

"Pick lower branches." He said without even thinking. The mother scoffed and slapped him in the back of the head.

Edward tried to hide his amusement as he spoke. "No, not to do it again. You've worried your poor mother sick." He turned his attention to the mother, who had her hands on her hips, staring the young child down in annoyance. "It should be fine within a week. I'd like you to come back then to allow me to check on it. Don't let him use it at all, if possible. The less he uses it, the quicker it'll be better and the sooner he'll be back to doing chores."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Masen. We'll bring the money for the-" She started, but he waved her off.

"I understand. Times are tight. When you come in next week we'll work out a payment plan." He smiled, practically oozing charm from his very pores. The mother sighed and thanked him before leaving. She gave me a curious look but said nothing as she passed.

"I'm sorry. If you'd be so kind to give me a minute more to straighten up, I'll be glad to help you."

"Sure," I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

I didn't know what to do now. My head hurt and my anger, though still there, did not hold the heat it once did. I wondered if he'd know once he really looked at me. If he'd know that I was the one he stole a wife and a child from. Would he feel sorry? What would he do? I was gunning for a fight and I was almost dead sure he wasn't going to give it to me.

He moved around the room, straightening and washing his hands. Though he was thin, he was not wiry and he had a grace about him. _I could see why Bella would..._

I stopped that thought right there, gritting my teeth again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, shallowing back the bile in my throat.

"Jasper," I heard a familiar voice gasp and then the dropping of several things. I looked up, my eyes focusing on my step father. He looked completely shocked, his already pale skin turning a ghostly white. He almost looked as if he was going to cry.

"Jasper?" The bastard spoke my name.

"You have no right to say my name you child stealing-" I said automatically, practically spewing venom.

"Jasper!" Carlisle cut off quickly. "You-"

"If you say I am dead you are in the wrong profession." I said coldly. If one more person said that I was going to snap. "I can't believe that you-"

"We didn't know." Carlisle pleaded while Edward simply stood there, dumbfounded.

"I will deal with you later, old man." I said harshly before turning my attention to the Irish man. "So, nothing to say for yourself?"

"I won't apologize." He said quietly, his eyes burning with the intensity of the moment.

"Oh, you won't? You stole her from me! You stole my child! He doesn't even know I exist!" I shouted.

"You left her!" He threw back at me quickly.

"I didn't have a choice!"

"There was always a choice." He said fiercely.

I laughed without humor. "Oh, what choice was that?"

"I would have gone to Mexico! Canada! Anywhere, as long as I was with her." He replied back with little thought.

"I'm not a coward."

"Putting her first doesn't make me a coward! It makes me a good husband!" He growled back.

"Enough!" Carlisle shouted, surprising both of us. "So, you saw her?" He pointed at me.

"Yes." I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at the other man in the room.

"Edward, go to her." Carlisle responded, barely in a whisper. His eyes looked pained.

Without another word he nodded and gathered his things. A nice leather doctor's bag and tailored suit jacket that came from New Orleans by the signs of it. All signs that he was better than me. He walked past me to get to the door. I stood to my full height, glaring at him but he didn't even budge.

_I didn't scare him at all. _

It was because he knew he was the better man.

The bell twinkled for a moment after he left then there was deafening silence behind. I was not going to be the first one to speak.

"Did you go to her first?" He began after a moment.

"Of course." I rolled my eyes. He knew the answer to that one. He shouldn't have bothered asking something so stupid.

"I wish you hadn't." He sighed heavily, beginning to pick up the boxes he dropped earlier.

"It would have been so much neater if I were dead, wouldn't it?" I hissed, anger pouring from my every word.

"You shouldn't have expected her to wait for you." He sighed. "It's been almost five years. What did you think?"

"She said-"

"You left quite a mess behind, Jasper! She had to clean it up all by herself. Nothing I could have done would have helped. Did you not think of the irresponsibility of your actions?" The disappointment was clear in his voice.

"I didn't realize. If I had known..."

"I'm not sure how much that would have changed. She still would have been alone and scared." He glared at me. "That was the real damage. The real mess."

I shook my head, not liking the direction the conversation was going. I decided to take control. "So, you gave them your permission? You gave him permission to steal my child?"

"It takes more than blood to make a father." He said coldly.

"I went to war!" I defended myself.

"No! No letters, Jasper! For YEARS! The war has been over for nearly a year now. Where were you?" He demanded, slamming the boxes down on the table beside him. "Why didn't you at least write?"

I had no real answer for him. He was right. I should have written as soon as I got the chance. But, that's not how I wanted to come home. I wanted to make a little something of myself. I wanted to be prepared. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Carlisle called to my back.

"Leaving. And I'm taking your horse."

**Hey everyone! I want to thank everyone for their great response to this story. But, I just want to say to all the people 'hoping' that this ends up canon, take it from me, I just wrote the last chapter... you will not know for sure until the VERY end. It's worth the trip, trust me** **Alsooooo... the first part of my interview with CBA, or Cullen Boys Anonymous is up. I'm going to put the link up on my profile. You'll get to see Vivian, the cause of my absence lol, in moving color! In a Onesie from actual Forks Washington. I hope you guys check it out. I'll put the link up to the second part of the interview when it's up... I hope you guys read both! Tomorrow's has my husband's part of the interview! **


	6. Chapter 6

I don't know why I went this way. I couldn't understand why I was such a glutton for punishment. I had no idea what I was going to do once I got there.

It was starting to get dark, an early spring storm starting to set in. Cold wind whipped around my head, mixing with the hot air from the sunny afternoon, making a deadly combination. It fit my mood perfectly.

I was only a few minutes behind Edward, I was pretty sure. I pushed the horse hard into the fading twilight and deeper into the thick woods that led to my love's home.

When I came closer to the clearing where the cabin sat, I slowed down. I arrived in time to see Edward stable his horse and move towards the house at almost a run. His jacket whipped around him, his hair growing more wild in the wind.

I don't know what possessed me to do this but I tied the horse to the tree. The rain was just starting to come down, heavy lightening in the back ground which made the poor beast uneasy. I hoped that it wouldn't become too frighten and run away. Walking in the rain was not something I wanted to do at the moment, not that I knew where I'd go after this.

I made my way closer to the house. The curtains were pulled back and a light was shining in a particular room in the back of the house. As I came within feet of it I could see Bella's figure. She was clutching her infant daughter in her arms, her face red and tear stained. I moved behind a tree which was above five feet from the house and just gazed at her.

Even in her frightful state, and all that happened today, I still loved her.

She was still beautiful and she was still my angel.

I couldn't hear his voice but I knew the moment that the good doctor came into the room because Bella turned and her shoulders slumped slightly. He rushed to her, placing a hand on her cheek. She leaned into it with her eyes closed, nodding her head slowly. He sighed heavily and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. I could see their lips move but could not hear the conversation.

After a moment he took the infant into his arms, the child's head lulling to the side slightly. It was easy to tell that it was asleep and had been for a while. Bella was reluctant to let her go but after some gentle words from her husband she dropped her arms to her side before wrapping them around her stomach.

Bella walked slowly to the window, gazing out into the now wet night. I moved further behind the tree so she would not be able to see me, just peeking over with my eyes. I had to hold onto the tree to keep from running to her. I wanted to grab her up in my arms and make the sad look on her face go away.

But, how could I do that? I was the one that caused it.

A moment later the bastard came back into the room, his arms empty. He must have taken the child to it's room. Slowly so not to startle her, he walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She tilted her head to the side, allowing him to rest his chin on her shoulder. They seemed so natural together. They knew each move the other would make.

I hated him more for that than I could anything else in the world. He knew her now. He knew her every move.

Bella turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck tightly. He held her to him, holding her body with all the gentle reverence it deserved. I would say one thing, you can tell by the look in his eyes that he worshiped her. I could not fault him that.

They spoke to each other for a moment before she almost frantically began to kiss him. He pulled away, surprised and spoke to her, his eyes almost pleading. She shook her head and kissed him again. Unsurprisingly, he was a normal man and could not resist her.

Just as I could not so many years ago.

His fingers weaved into her hair, pulling away the pins to release it from it's hold. Her tiny fingers worked at his vest, almost expertly pulling it away.

Of course she knew how to do this. They had done it before.

Why was I watching this? It was like one final nail in the coffin. I saw their love for each other in every touch, every kiss. I didn't have to know the words to know they were gentle and sweet. I pulled back and laid my head against the back of the tree, letting the water fall over my face. I wanted to drown in it. I wanted it to wash away the years and take me back to a time when she was mine and no one else's.

Like an idiot, I turned to look again. There was a large crash of lightening, making everything shine so much more brightly for a moment. Her dress was now gone and her pale smooth back was exposed, along with the gentle curves of her body. Her chestnut hair curled past the curve of her perfect ass. Edward was standing before her, shirtless now, his eyes alight with a fire that could ignite the world. His eyes danced over her body, his hands sliding over her sides as he whispered words I could only imagine.

As he bent his head to kiss her body I could not watch anymore. I turned quickly and ran through the rain back to the horse. It huffed and whined as I untied it, obviously annoyed with my leaving. I climbed on and quickly spurred it on in the opposite direction of the house.

I had to come to grips with what was happening around me. I had to admit the truth, no matter how much I disliked it.

He had not stolen her from me. He saved her from my memory and the disaster I had caused when I left. She walked willingly into his arms. She loved him. And he obviously loved her.

Where did that leave me?

This morning I was going to ask the women I had loved since I was a small child to marry me. I was going to work with my father until I could find a decent position and pay for a life of our own. We were going to have babies and live out a happy life together.

Tonight I had no love, a son that didn't even know who I was, and no future. My family had moved on. I had no happiness.

I had no hope.

I had been riding about an hour in the opposite direction of her home. But, no matter how much I tried to get away from her, the memory was always there. I came across a small creek in which we use to play as kids. The same large boulders dotted the water line, perfect for jumping in and making a large splash.

The rain had stopped and the horse needed a break so I climbed down and it let graze in the clearing. Honestly I didn't care if it ran away at this point. I had no where to go anyway.

I plopped down onto one of the boulders and laid back, unwanted memories flooding my head.

_It was the middle of the summer and it was altogether too hot. The only relief to be found was in the water, and it was hot as well. I watched as Bella danced along the muddy shore, her dress lifted up so that it wouldn't get wet. _

"_What would you like for your birthday?" She asked suddenly, turning to me on my rock. I had already stripped out of my shoes and socks, along with my shirt. It was not proper but proper simply wasn't an option in this heat. _

"_Nothing." I shrugged, really not wanting anything. I had everything I wanted as it was. _

"_Nothing? But, Jasper! I have to get you something. It's not every day that a young man turns thirteen."_

"_Come to my party. That is all I want." I smiled at her, loving the way she huffed when she did not get the answer she wanted. I loved to torment her at times. _

_She sighed, giving up. She knew I was not going to give her an answer. She hated the fact that my family had money and could give her things, and she could not return the favor. I could care less though. I did not spend time with her because of her money, or lack of, but because she was my best friend. _

"_I think this has been the hottest summer ever." She said, changing the subject. Her face was already red from the sun and I knew that she'd be burnt later, much like I'd probably be. She suddenly got a wicked glint in her eye. "Lets go skinny dipping."_

"_No," I laughed, smiling. _

"_Oh, don't be such a prude. It's just me." She rolled her eyes, already starting to strip out of her clothes. She threw her dress to the shore and then turned her back to me, slipping out of her slip. She looked over her shoulder, her long eyelashes fluttering. "I'm going to go cool off, with or without you."_

_I watched in amazement at her boldness, then other things came to the forefront of my mind. Her body. I had never noticed it before. I never noticed her before. She was hardly the gawky child I had met years before. She was now a beautiful young woman with a young woman's body. I swallowed hard, my entire being flushed. "Bella, this isn't a good idea."_

_She was already in the water, it up over her breasts. She had the sweetest smile on her face. "Oh Jasper! Hush and join me... please?"_

I couldn't resist her, even then.

Her memory was the only thing that kept me alive. Now that I knew I could not have her, I only knew one thing for certain.

I did not want to live without her.

**Ducks head... okay, don't hurt me. I KNOW that you will be dying for the next chapter after this one. This one is one of my favorites of the story, and the next introduces one of my favorite characters in the story. No, I won't tell you, yes, you can guess all you want but you'll be wrong, and yes it is a twilight character. I think you'll like this person as well. **

**Also, second part of my interview went up today! It was mainly my husbands part and a very amusing twilight related video of him. I'm posting the link on my profile. **

**I know you hate me for not posting against until Monday, but did you like the chapter?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Only one person guessed right! I'm surprised!**

The decision was not hard to come to. It made the most sense. It would save so many people so much trouble. In less than twenty four hours I had messed up so many people's lives. I could save them so much more if I left just as quickly.

Save Bella the pain. Because she didn't deserve to feel that way. She was still an angel. I had already made her go through so much. Too much pain. So much more than she deserved combined for a single lifetime.

Save my parents the guilt. They didn't know I was gone. They thought they were doing the right thing in allowing them to get married. If I was dead, it was the right thing. It was what Bella needed, at the time anyway.

Save Erin the confusion. He had one father already. He didn't need another. And what would he think of me anyway? An absent father who hurt his mother.

Save Edward the fight. Because, no matter how much I punched and kicked, he'd always be the better man. He was there to help and he was there to heal when I was not. I could never be forgiven for that, even if I really didn't have much of a choice.

I wasn't sure how I'd do it. All I had on me was the clothes on my back and that stupid gold wedding band that would never get any use. It wasn't exactly a sword or a gun. Nothing useful.

And, the horse, of course

I wasn't sure what Carlisle kept on the animal but I knew he kept it prepared to leave at any moment. I went over to the beast which was still grazing happily. I searched through the bags that hung off the saddle, finding vial after vial of random liquid or herbs. I wasn't sure which did what. I just knew that I wanted to be dead, not vomiting up my innards for days. Maybe if I had paid better attention to Carlisle it would have been easier to pick what I needed. It was too late to worry about that now though. But, finally I found exactly what I needed.

A rope. _Perfect._

I quickly tied a slipknot and walked back to the boulder that filled so many of my childhood memories. I slipped the rope around my neck without a second thought then threw the extra length, double wrapped, over an oak tree branch over head. I didn't want to simply fall into the water.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It could all end now. I was ready.

"It's not going to work."

I jumped at the sound of the bass voice and my eyes flew open. Standing by a tree across the bank was a young Indian man. He was probably my age, a tad bit older.

It was hard to tell much about him in the dark night. But, I could see that he was shirtless and shoeless, only standing in his dark tan leather pants. His black hair shined even in the darkness, hanging past his shoulders in waves. But the main thing I noticed about him was his amused expression.

"Excuse me?"

"I said it's not going to work." He smirked, his arms crossed over his bare chest.

"It most certainly will." I stated, annoyed. It had to work. I had no other choice. It just had to.

"It most certainly will not." He replied in a mocking tone, copying my words and tone. I could see him purse his lips to keep from laughing out loud at my frustrated response. I'd show him. I'd easily wipe that sarcastic expression off his face.

"Just watch." I growled then jumped.

Several things happened at once. My mind went blank, preparing me for my decision. I felt no regret. I felt no peace. I felt nothing at all. The branch holding the rope snapped and then I landed in the cool waist deep water. Booming laughter filled my ears as soon as the water emptied them. I spit out the water that had filled my mouth angrily, trying to get my bearings as I ran my fingers through my hair and out of my eyes.

"I told you it wouldn't work." The man said between his laughter. "The tree is dead."

"Excuse me?" I hissed as I came to the shore. I threw the rope from my neck, disgusted with the whole thing. Everything and everyone was personally working against me to make my life a living hell.

He gracefully jumped from shore to shore, only getting his feet wet. He must have jumped a good ten feet. If I weren't so annoyed I would have asked how he did it.

"The tree is dead." He said, rolling his eyes. He picked up the broken branch that I had dragged behind me with the rope with both hands. "See?" He said somehow snapping the large block of wood over his knee easily. "Completely rotten. It wasn't able to support your weight. You should have picked a better tree."

"Thanks for the help." I spat out. Was he really going to give me advice on how to kill myself?

He lifted his hands defensively. "I can point out a better tree if you'd like, but I would take this as a sign from the gods that it's not the best choice."

"They're all against me." I mumbled to myself, plopping down on a shore.

"You're a cheerful fellow." The Indian said, sitting beside me. His entire being screamed relaxed and happy. It was annoying.

"Why are you still here?" I growled at him.

"Well," He began, drawing his knees up to his chest and resting his elbows on them. "I'm waiting for you to either to kill yourself so I can take your horse or for you to ask for help. One of the other is bound to happen. Sooner or later."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for your concern over the animal but I hate to inform you that I will be returning the creature to it's rightful owner before I attempt again. Apparently I did not chose the best way to do it." I said sarcastically.

"Damn, and I was hoping for a new horse." He smirked at me, obviously joking.

"Just go." I sighed.

"Well, if you're not going to kill himself I'm sure you're going to need help."

I scoffed. "No one can help me."

"If you're looking for pity you won't get it from me." He said, his tone still even and slightly amused.

"I'm not." I snapped.

"Could have fooled me. If you weren't you would have left already." The Indian said as if he was the smartest man on this world. Like he had all the answers. It simply annoyed the hell out of me. He was sent here by the 'gods' to annoy me personally.

"I was here first." I answered back childishly.

"I seriously doubt that, pale face."

I stared at him a moment, not really knowing what to say after that. "What are you doing out here anyway?" I asked finally. I wasn't going to apologize for my rude behavior but I wasn't going to continue it. It was obviously not effecting him at all.

"Hunting. I guess I don't have to ask what you were doing." He snickered.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know what I am going to do." I sighed in frustration, laying back. The clouds were starting to clear out, the bright stars starting to emerge.

"I don't think killing yourself is the best option. It's the coward's way out, if you ask me."

"I'm not a coward." I said for the second time today.

"Could have fooled me." He answered, raising a challenging eyebrow at me.

I had had enough of him. "How do you know? You don't know anything."

"I know a cowardly act when I see it."

"You don't know what I've been through." I said quietly, a wave of sadness washing over me.

"Doesn't matter." He stated simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Doesn't matter?" I asked in disbelief. "Of course it matters."

"Whatever you say, white man. Of course you are the smarter one. You can tell when a tree is-"

"Shut up," I growled, cutting him off before he could finish that sentence.

He stood up, still looking completely amused by the whole thing. "I'm just saying maybe there is a better way."

I sat up and watched as he walked away. As much as I disliked it, he had a point. He was just about out of sight when I made a decision. "What's your name?"

"Jacob Black."

"Thank you." I said quietly. I was surprised he could hear me, but he smiled and nodded before chuckling.

"Haven't done anything yet. I'll be waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, confused.

I didn't have to see his face to know he rolled his eyes. It was obvious by the tone of his voice. "For you to ask for help. You will need it one day."

And with that, he was gone.

Well, now that my brilliant plans had been completely dashed I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I was cold, wet, broke, and basically homeless for the moment. I didn't have a lot of options.

But, I did have one, but I'd have to be a man to do it.

I decided to suck up my pride and stood. I walked back to the horse and mounted it quickly in a smooth movement. I turned him towards the east, spurring him gently. I wasn't in any hurry but I knew I would have to face her sooner or later.

I would have to face my mother.

**I know it's probably wrong but this chapter really amuses me. Not that suicide is amusing, but Jacob is. When I started thinking about this story in the first place, he wasn't in it at all. Now, I can't imagine it without him. He's so different. **

**So, people have been asking me some questions and I thought I'd clear them up really quick. **

**21-22 age wise for Jasper. 20-21 for Bella. **

**They're based in Tyler Texas. Fort Hood is there. Look it up if you'd like. There is also a lovely antebellum home. I've been to it several times. It's what I imagine Esme and Carlisle's home to be like. We have some where I live, but they're not nearly as grand. **

**Btw, if I have to answer this question again, I'm disappointed. It's in the post civil war era of the United States. 1865 to be exact. Somewhere between February and April. **


	8. Chapter 8

The trip home took more time that it probably should have. Between the random bouts of rain and the random bouts of me throwing up, it took three full hours. It probably should have only taken one.

If I didn't have enough problems to deal with already, I was going to be ill after all this. I just knew it. And, I didn't mean the hangover I would have most likely tomorrow. One so thin and without much to eat shouldn't drink so heavily so quickly. I knew it would probably be the smartest thing to allow Carlisle to look me over in the morning if I felt sick.

It was late into the night now and all the lights were out when I arrived at the plantation home of my parents. Of course it was too late and the lights would be out. Everyone would be asleep. I wish I could just sneak inside, but I knew there was no way I wouldn't make some sort of dramatic entrance. I'm sure Esme would never allow that. My mother, though kind and gentle, had a way of making a show out of everything. It was her very favorite part of being a southern woman.

I put the horse away, removing his equipment from him. I noticed that there was another horse there, already prepped for Carlisle. I rubbed the horse's head in apology, feeling guilty for dragging it out into the nasty weather. I made sure his stall had everything he needed before locking up behind me.

I was going to at least try to sneak inside so I decided to try the back door first. If any of the doors were going to be unlocked, it would be that one. I went quietly to the stairs, trying my best not to make a single sound. I tried the door, peering into the kitchen as I did so. My stomach growled loudly. I don't know how my stomach could think of something like that after it's disposal of the contents earlier. It didn't seem like it should be something that was possible.

Of course it was locked. Everyone was far more cautious since the war.

I sighed heavily and decided to try the front door. I doubted with my luck that it would be so easy. Just trying the window seemed like it was a better option at this point, but I didn't want to use that one unless I had to. I didn't want to feel like a bigger fool than I already did.

I walked around the front of the house, cutting through the bushes like I did when I was a kid. It was the quickest route. In retrospect that probably wasn't a good idea.

I took the stairs leading up to the front doorway two at a time. The idea of food was giving me more inspiration to actually go inside. My hand went for the door knob, but just as my fingers touched it the thing yanked opened and I was greeted with the sight of a gun pointed directly at my face.

"WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS HERE?" The loud male voice called, staying in the darkness. The only thing I could see clearly was his hand and the pistol.

"THIS IS MY HOME!"

"This is the Cullen's home. You are mistaken." He growled.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock. Esme's son." I said, bringing my hands up to show I was not armed.

"Mr. Jasper?" The voice asked, confused. He walked a bit more into the light, his blue eyes squinting at me. "Is that really you?"

"Yes," I said, though it sounded more like a question. The pistol dropped as soon as I said that and the male stepped more into the light.

"Mr. Carlisle said that you were back, but I didn't believe it..." The older gentlemen said. It took me a moment to recognize him.

"Newt?" I asked, squinting at him. He had been Carlisle's man for years. But, the past few years had not been kind to him. He had aged considerable.

"Yes, sir. Please, I'm sorry. Come in!" He said, holding the door open for me. I stepped inside, feeling the familiar rush of memories. Bella was everywhere in here. I saw her face everywhere and it hurt.

A moment later a young man came rushing in, a candle in his hand. Newt raised his hand, showing him to calm down. "Go inform the Mister and the Missus that Mr. Jasper is here, please."

"Yes, sir." The boy called, running up the stairs.

"Who was that?" I asked, not remembering him at all. He couldn't have been more than fifteen. He was just a child.

"My son, Micheal. He started working with Mrs. Esme to help with her garden and help in the kitchen." He smiled proudly. "I'm hoping to start training him to work with Mr. Carlisle before the fall."

I smiled at him politely at him, patting him on the shoulder. I didn't know what to say to something so cheerful. He was so full of pride. It was almost odd to hear when I was feeling this way. I had to keep telling myself that just because I felt unhappy didn't mean that everyone else had to too.

"Jasper!" I heard my mother's voice at the top of the stairs, her tiny feet thumping down the wood. A moment later, quicker than I thought have thought, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. "I have missed you so much."

"I have missed you as well."

"Where? Where have you been?" She asked through her tears.

"Everywhere." I said quietly, not ready to talk about it.

She pulled away, looking at me the best she could in the moonlight. Something flashed in her eyes and she began to hit me, over and over again in the arms and chest. "Why did you not come home? Why?"

"I'm sorry! I don't know why!" I tried to defend, raising my hands in the air.

"I was so worried!" She cried, lunging at me again. My arms wrapped around her, burying my face in her caramel colored hair.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I slowly looked up and saw Carlisle standing at the end of the stairs. Our eyes met and he nodded his head slowly. I knew he wasn't going to hold anything against me. He was always such a good man.

"You are a stick! You must be so hungry." My mother said after wiping her eyes. "And, you need to get cleaned up. Carlisle, can you look over him? Jasper, where are your bags?" She said in a quick rush.

"I don't have any and it's fine. Don't worry. I'm fine. Carlisle doesn't need to-"

"Do you honestly think she'll take no for an answer?" Carlisle asked with a raised eyebrow.

I sighed heavily and nodded my head. My mother beamed between her husband and me. She then motioned at the young boy. "Micheal, come help me fix Jasper something to eat while he gets cleaned up."

I followed my step father up the stairs. He was obviously going to my old room. He lit a lamp and ushered me inside. Slowly he looked me over, a slight smirk on his face. "You looked rough earlier, but now..."

"Lets just say I got in a fight with a tree." I muttered.

"Well, the tree won. Now, strip." He said, waving his hand over me.

My suit was completely ruined I realized for the first time. I wouldn't need it now anyway. I was hoping that these would be my wedding clothes. There would be no wedding. I pulled the gold band and the little bit of a money I had out of my pocket, tossing it on the dresser. Carlisle thankfully didn't say anything. I went down to my underwear and sat on the bed.

"What the hell happened to you?" Carlisle said, walking over towards me. With gentle fingers he traced all my scars. There was dozens of them. They were mostly on my chest, back, arms and some on my neck. Thankfully my face was barely touched, but there was a few tiny ones along my cheeks and jaw.

"I went to war." I said sarcastically. I wasn't ready to talk about the things that went on with me during that time. Not to anyone.

"You shouldn't let your mother see these. She's worried enough as it is. Do you really have nothing? No more clothes?"

"I threw them away once I hit town. They were all raggedy. I didn't want to..." I trailed off, looking away.

"Didn't want Bella to see them?" Carlisle finished for me.

I nodded slowly. He sighed heavily and left the room for a moment. He came back a second later with a long night shirt of his. "Thank you."

"Tomorrow I'll give you some cash and you can go to town to pick out some more clothes. I don't think you're old ones will fit you anymore." I opened my mouth to protest, but he stopped me. "You have no other choice at the moment. I know you don't like it."

"Thank you." I said again quietly, not knowing what else to say.

"Of course, you're my son. Now, why don't you wash up and get dressed? I'm sure your mother will have some food for you in a moment. I'm surprised she hasn't rushed in here as it is." He said, leaving me after patting my shoulder gently.

Now, I was left in a room filled with the memories of Bella.

**Jasper, just like everyone else, needs his momma now and then. Some of ya'll thought Carlisle was kind of cold when he was introduced, but when you're surprised and you know the situation is bad, you're normally not all that friendly. **

**Also, I'm glad everyone liked Jacob! I love him too. And yes, he will be back and sooner than you think. Also, for those who keep asking, yes Alice will be in this story, but I will not tell you when. You'll just have to wait. **


	9. Chapter 9

"_A Picnic and ball in honor of the Jasper J. Whitlock's sixteenth birthday." Bella giggled as she read the invitation out loud, using her most proper voice. We had gone up to my room to escape the party planning my mother had started. She was out of her mind. I had no idea she was going to go this far. _

"_Hush," I mumbled, laying back on my bed. _

"_It sounds all so romantic though." She teased, sitting beside me. _

"_Humbug," I muttered sourly. She clicked her tongue and slapped my leg. _

"_Jasper, let your mother have her fun. I think you will have a lovely time." Bella said, chiding me with her eyes. She loved my mother so and she wasn't going to let me be sour about this, even if I wanted to be. _

"_Only if you're there with me." I said, looking up at the ceiling. I had been developing feelings for Bella, serious ones, over the past year and now it was almost coming to a painful point. I wanted her to know, I just didn't know how to tell her. As if an angel like her could even want me. _

_She sighed heavily, looking back at me. "I have a dress I can wear to the picnic, but Jasper you know that I don't have anything for the-" _

_I hopped up off the bed, cutting her off before she could finish. I hated when she complained about money. I hoped to end that some day. "I have a present for you."_

"_A present for me?" She asked, confused. _

_I went to the closet and pulled out the large white box. I came back, setting it on her lap before sitting next to her. "Yes, for you. Open it."_

"_You shouldn't have." She complained, eying the box. _

"_Open it, please." I pleaded, wanting to know her reaction. _

_She opened it slowly, almost as if she was scared of it. Her eyes went wide. She honestly did seem scared now. "Jasper, what did you do?"_

"_Is it that horrible? I'm sorry. I'll get you another one." I said quickly, going to grab for the box but she snatched the dress from it, the rest of the contents going to the floor. _

"_No! I love it! When did you get it?" She questioned, holding up the dress so she could look at it. _

"_When I went to New Orleans with my parents." I said quietly, looking down at my feet. _

"_But, that was three months ago. You didn't know you were going to have the party then. Why did you get this?"_

"_Because, I knew there would be a ball sooner or later that I'd want to take you to. I didn't want you to have an excuse to say no. Now, why don't you go try it on to see if we need to have it tailored?" I said, changing the subject. _

_She squealed, much to my surprise and lunged at me, kissing my cheek hard before dancing behind the screen in my room. I turned so I wouldn't be tempted to look, my hand going to the spot that still burned from her touch. I sighed happily, simply glad she was not angry with me. _

_After a few minutes of rustling about, I heard her call softly. "Jasper, I need help."_

"_Is everything alright?" I asked, slowly turning around. _

_She emerged, holding the dress to her body. "I can't do the ties. Can you please?"_

_I nearly choked on my own spit but I nodded my head, unable to tell her no. I walked towards her, watching as she turned around. I brought my hand to her back and slowly began to work them. I wasn't entirely sure how to do it, but I'd figure it out. _

_Once I was done, Bella slowly turned around, spinning to show me the whole thing. It was beautiful stiff taffeta, deep plum purple with black lace around her chest. I gaped at her a moment until I realized that her cheeks were beginning to burn red. I cleared my throat and went to the things on the floor. _

"_I've also gotten you a chocker, and some gloves, to go with it. I wasn't sure if there was anything else you'd need. If there is, I'd be happy to get it for you." I stopped once I realized that Bella was giggling at me. _

"_This is all too much. It's all so perfect. Here, bring them to me. I want to see how I look." She said, holding out her hands. _

_I quickly walked to her, allowing her to take the gloves from my grip. She slipped them on, twisting her arms to examine them. They went all the way past her elbows. _

"_Could you put the necklace on me?" She asked shyly, looking down at her feet. _

_I nodded dumbly as she turned around. I was almost afraid to touch her, even though I had done so so many times. I carefully pushed her hair off her neck, slipping the black ribbon and pendant around her. I tied it carefully in place. _

_As she turned back around, I whispered to myself. "Perfect."_

_She must have heard me because her head ducked down and she flushed a furious red. "Thank you. This is all too much. I don't know if I can accept it."_

"_Please. As my birthday gift... Let me escort you to the ball?" I blurted out. _

"_Escort me?" She asked, confused. _

_I nodded, biting my lip. I couldn't look at her as I waited for her answer. I was surprised when I felt her silk covered hand touch my cheek. "I would adore it if you escorted me to the ball, Jasper."_

"_Really?" My head snapped up, surprised for some reason. _

_She smiled sweetly at me, her hand still on my cheek. "Of course."_

_I laughed, and in my happiness I wrapped my arms around her waist, picking her up to spin her around. She laughed loudly, her arms securely wrapped around my neck. As I stopped, our eyes locked and I sucked in a deep breath. _

"_I am sorry, this is inappropriate." I said as I set her to her feet. Bella didn't move her arms though. _

"_When has anything about us ever been appropriate, Jasper?"_

_And, there, in my room, with Bella looking like the most beautiful woman in the world and me a simple fool in her mere presence, I received my first real kiss. Hot and sweet, slow and passionate. It was heaven_

At that moment my mother came into my room, carrying a tray of god knows what. She was beaming, her deep blue eyes sparkling with happiness. I had to smile at her, even if it wasn't as big as she deserved.

"I'm sorry it's nothing amazing. We have left over muffins, and I made you some eggs and sausage. I remember how you liked that. I also have you some coffee. We don't have any milk right now, but there is plenty of sugar. I also have you a bowl of strawberries. I hope this is all-"

I cut her off, taking the tray from her hands and setting it on the bed. "It's fantastic, Mother. Thank you so much. You didn't have to go to such trouble."

"Yes, I did. I had to. My god! Look at you! You're nothing but skin and bones."

I knew she was not going to leave me be until she saw me eat at least part of this large feast she had prepared for me. I sat down on the bed and grabbed the fork, bringing the plate up to me. The eggs were still warm, scrambled, and the sausage had a sweet spicy smell to it. I knew they were both fresh from the farm. The idea made my stomach pop with hunger.

Esme sat on the chair in the corner of my room, hands on her lap as she watched me. I knew she was simply bidding her time before she could assault me with questions. I sighed, putting the plate down after a moment and picked up the coffee.

"Go ahead, I know you wish to."

"Wish to what?" She asked innocently.

"Ask your questions. You may ask them, but I may not have answers to them."

"Where were you? The last few years? Tonight?" She began.

I decided to give a general answer to both questions. "New York and the woods."

"Why?"

I shook my head. I couldn't talk about either one of those yet. She nodded her head sadly. "Tell me one day."

"I will try." I said quietly. "I can't make any promises."

She nodded her head again, but thankfully changed the subject. "Rosalie said that she saw you. I suppose you met Emmett then?"

I chuckled. "I did. I've missed so much."

She smiled sadly, standing up. "That you have. Jasper, it is so nice to have you home."

My mother walked out of the room, tears in her eyes. I knew she did not want to cry in front of me. I could not blame her for that. I sighed heavily and put down the coffee. My stomach was filled and the food was barely touched. It didn't take much to fill me up now. Hopefully that would change soon. I needed to gain some weight. My mother would see to that.

As happy as I was to see my loved ones, I knew one very important thing.

I could not stay here. It was too painful.

So, I moved the tray from the bed onto the vanity and prepared for my first night's sleep in a real bed in a very long time. I had an idea of what I wanted to do now, which was something. I just had to make it through tonight. But I knew that would be easier said than done though. Because I knew one way or the other, my sleep would be filled with nightmares. 

**A memory of Bella. You'll be seeing a few more of those to come. I want to show what they had. **

**Also, I wanted to address those who didn't like Jacob. He's barely in the story, and he's not going after Bella. He's a simple minor character. Seriously, for those who don't like him, as my girlfriend said, 'Will you not go see New Moon?' Just something to think about. **

**Soooo... what do you think? **


	10. Chapter 10

_Flashes of light and smoke. That's always how this started. And no matter how much I wanted it to end differently, I knew it would be the same. But, perhaps not tonight..._

_I felt dirty all over. I hadn't felt clean in what seemed like years, though it probably had only been days, maybe a month or so. I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed my girl. I wanted to go home. This was the first major battle I had seen. _

_The glories of war did not seem so glorious now. I was just a child. I was not ready for this I had never felt such fear in my life._

_The scene changed quickly. I had been on the front for what? Two years? Had it really been that long? Time seem to blend together. _

_But, I did know it was close to the fourth of July, and after the small skirmish in small borough in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, I missed my family even more. I could just imagine the barbecue they'd be having around this time of the year. I could smell the sweet pies and the roasted meat. Or, at least I tried to. All I could smell now was smoke and soot,the overwhelming stench of gun powder. _

_Perhaps that's why it happened. I wasn't paying attention. Maybe it was because I was already weak and tired. But, I was hit suddenly, blood slowly oozing my body. It felt like tons of metal entered my body. I dropped to the ground like a load of bricks. _

_And I stayed there all day, in pain, unable to move, but wide awake, watching as the dead bodies fell around me. No one deserved to die like this. Union or confederate. No human being deserved this. I passed out sometime during that night, they came to get me later, I assumed anyway. I woke up days later in a hospital, barely alive. _

Patch me up like a quilt and sent me back_, were the words I thought about over and over again. Just a tender couple months later and they shoved me back out there. To this day I'm not sure what happened but I ended up in that rotten prison camp not long after. _

_Small pox and dysentery. Shit and death surrounded me. Abuse, cold, no food. But, I survived it all because I wanted to see my angel so badly. _

_And she didn't want me anymore. The image of Bella's beautiful face being ripped away from me was replacing the normal terrors of death that normally filled my dreams. It was far, far, far worse. _

I woke up, panting and more tired than I was before I went to sleep. I was sore and my neck hurt. Not that I was surprised. I probably had a bruise now from the damned rope. Hopefully I could find a shirt in the house with a high enough collar to cover it. Actually, what I needed to hope for was clothes that fit.

Of course I should have figured that my mother would take care of that. Waiting for me on the chair she sat in the night before was my clothes, sans jacket. I had to assume too much damage was done to it to be wearable again. The clothes smelled fresh and they were completely dry. It made me wonder what time it was really.

I got dressed after washing my face and headed downstairs. I glanced at the clock and grimaced when I realized it was just now noon. I was surprised that my mother had allowed me to sleep so late. Though, I wasn't sure what time I got back the night before.

"Morning, son." Carlisle smiled at me, offering me the seat beside him. My mother was no where to be found.

"Where is Mother?" I asked, moving the napkin off the plate.

"In the kitchen, talking to Angela." He said with a sigh, rolling his eyes. "She thinks that just because you're here now we need to prepare a feast for every meal."

I looked down, feeling bad for saying this already. "That won't be a problem for long. I don't- I mean, I don't think that I can..."

"Too many memories. I figured. That's why I have this for you." He said, pulling a thick white envelop from his jacket pocket and setting it on the table.

"What is that?" I asked, eying the package.

"Something to get you started." He shrugged.

I picked up the paper and looked inside. I gasped, eying the money that was shoved within. I looked over the notes and coins. "There must be close to-"

He waved me off before I could finish. "Get you some clothes. Things to start out a new life. A place to stay for a while until you find your way. I knew you wouldn't be able to stay here for long."

"Thank you, but I can't accept so much..."

"Yes, you can and you will. Allow me to do this for you. It's a small start."

I smiled slightly, hating that I had to take so much. I could not turn it down though. Not really. I couldn't stay here around nigh time. I could be surrounded by all those memories. It was too hard. I needed to go where she wasn't everywhere in the room.

"There you are! Lunch is ready!" My mother beamed, carrying in a pitcher of tea. Behind her was a young girl with a platter with a whole chicken on it. She looked at me shyly, her eyes downcast. My mother sat down, pouring everyone a glass of tea while the girl went back into the kitchen.

"Who's that?" I asked, quickly putting the money in my pocket. I didn't know if my mother knew anything about this but I didn't want to get Carlisle in trouble with mother.

"Angela, our newest maid and cook. She is an sweetheart!" My mother beamed.

I smiled politely at my mother. She obviously liked the young girl. A moment later she came back with more stuff on a tray. A bowl of potatoes, carrots, bread, and a pie of some sort.

"You didn't have to go to such trouble." I said to the young woman.

"No trouble at all." She assured me.

"Like Esme gave you a choice," Carlisle mumbled under his breath. There was a sharp thump underneath the table and my stepfather cringed. He cleared his throat and smiled. "Ladies, this all does look delicious."

"Is there anything you need?" Angela said, blushing at the compliment my father gave her.

"No, thank you ,Angela. That will be all for now." My mother smiled politely before starting to dish out large amounts on my plate. I almost snatched it back so she'd stop. I couldn't eat all that. "So, what are your plans for today, Jasper?" She asked, giving me two buttered rolls.

"I'm going into town to get some clothes and then I'm going to look into the local taverns for a room to stay..." I trailed off quietly, cutting a piece of chicken so I wouldn't have to look at her disappointed face.

"A room to stay? But, why? You can stay here!" She began to protest.

"Esme," Carlisle chided her. "He has his reasons. He's a grown man."

"But! But, we just got him back! Stay, at least a while." She began to plead.

"Mother, please." I said quietly. "I am staying in town. You will see me often. Just- just allow me to do this. It's for the best."

She began to protest again by Carlisle gave her a look. My mother huffed loudly, taking a sip of her tea. Carlisle winked at me, telling me he'd handle her more later. Lord knows she wouldn't give this one up so easily.

Right after lunch I went into town. I didn't want to lose anymore daylight. I took everything I had, which wasn't much. The money, the clothes on my back, and the simple gold band. I didn't know what I was going to do with it, but I wanted to have it on me for some reason. Like she'd incredibly and suddenly change her mind and come back to me.

I went to the first clothiers I could find. I didn't want to get a lot, but since I literally had nothing, it took a few hours. Several pairs of pants, shirts, socks, underwear, shoes and boots, belts, a jacket, and even some gloves later I walked out of there. I only had the basics with me, I'd pick up the rest the next day after it had be tailored. I could wear what I had until then.

But, I needed to find something more important now. A place to stay. It was a task easier said than done. Most places around here held memories for me. Some part of my childhood or my adolescent years within the walls. I could think of only one place that had nothing like that for me.

Emmett's Tavern, or rather, the Black bear Saloon and Tavern.

**First off, I wanted to say that there really was a skirmish in Carlisle Penn. When I saw that, I laughed. I just had to add it in. Also, Black bears are common in this area, so not a huge jump to call a tavern that. They're actually kind of cute.**

**Also, I've been asked a lot so I wanted to HOPEFULLY put this one to rest. This story will be entirely in Jasper's POV. I may, at some point, do a side story in Bella's or Edward's but that's yet to bet written. No promises. **

**So, now that you know a little more of what happened to Jasper, what do you think?**


	11. Chapter 11

I walked in the tavern a little after sunset, the dinner crowd in full swing. There were people, couples, even some children scattered out at tables with different waitresses serving them. Even with the large amount of people inside it was easy to spot Emmett behind the bar, looking more massive than the last time I saw him. Was it possible for him to get bigger overnight? Maybe it was my imagination.

I did not see my sister around which was a good thing. I couldn't ask this of my sister. My younger sister. Hell, I probably couldn't ask this of any woman. It made me feel like less of a man to do this anyway.

I tried to think of a place before I came here that I could stay. Some place that didn't hold so many memories for me, but I came up with practically nothing. I had no other options. Well, perhaps I did but this was the easiest. I needed easy right now.

I sat down at the bar and waited patiently for my brother in law to turn around. Though I was unsure of his reaction when he saw me and I was worried about it. I probably wasn't his favorite person right now since I yelled at his wife the day before but I didn't want a fight.

"Well, I'll be. Didn't think I'd see you again so soon." He said with an odd smile as he turned around to face me completely. His hands were still busy pouring drinks and cleaning glasses. I'm not sure how he did it.

"I just want to start out with an apology and-" I began but he cut me off quickly with a wave of his massive hand.

"To say you were having a bad day is an understatement. Trust me, it's fine. I think you were fairly calm compared to what I'd be." He grinned brightly to show I was forgiven. "So, what can I do for you?" He asked in a thick southern drawl that rivaled my own.

"I was actually was wondering if you have any rooms available for a long term stay?" I said quietly, not really looking at him. I slowly lifted my head to meet his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow, his expression not hard to read. It was confusion. "Sure do. Why?"

I cleared my throat, feeling extremely uncomfortable. "I was wondering if it would be possible to rent one from you. If you don't mind that is."

"Of course not! You're family." He said, almost looking annoyed that I would even suggest that he minded.

I folded my hands on the bar and looked down at them. "Please don't treat me or charge me any differently just because of that. I don't want special treatment."

"Rose would have my ass-" He started in a strained voice but I pleaded with him with my eyes. He sighed heavily before beginning again. "Look, I have to give you some sort of discount. You haven't been around your sister in a while. She's a might bit mean." He said the last part in a whisper like she could hear through walls or something.

"No," I laughed, "but, she's always been mean."

"So you understand my predicament then. It's the best I can do. What do you say?" He asked, looking at me meaningful. I knew if I didn't accept then Rose would probably get after him after she heard about our talk. Things like this weren't easily kept quiet in a small town.

I reached my hand across the table top to shake his. "I'd say we have a deal."

He grinned widely, an expression I was quickly figured to be his normal one, before shaking my offered hand briskly. "Now, that that's settled, what can I get you to drink?"

"Whiskey." I said automatically. It had become my drink of choice over the years.

He quickly poured me a glass full, waving off any money I offered him. I sighed heavily but decided to take the kindness. I think the kindness was towards him as well though. I wasn't nearly as stubborn as my sister. She never did take anything offered to her.

The crowd had began to die down a lot during our talk so he wasn't so busy. I decided to take the opportunity to speak to him. "Emmett, you wouldn't happen to know a place that needs a hand, would you?"

He began to wipe the bar down, not even looking at me. I could tell he was keeping his eyes downcast on purpose but I couldn't understand why. "You looking for a job already?"

"Can't expect everyone to give me what I need in this world." I told him before downing my drink. "I have to work for something."

"True," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, actually, I could-"

"No," I cut him off before he could even finish the sentence. "I can't take your money and live here too, especially at a discount."

"Really, I could use the help." He tried to lie.

I began to protest but I heard a throat clear behind me. "Actually Emmett, I could use a hand. I just lost someone earlier this week." An all too familiar voice said.

As I turned around I almost gasped in shock. The Indian from the night before was standing there, nicely dressed in a business like gray suit with his long black hair tied back in a ponytail at the back of his neck. He looked so out of place in a way, but too comfortable with life not to fit in. I was extremely jealous of the easy going nature he seem to have.

"Oh?" Emmett said, not surprised in the least to see him in the bar, looking like that. It was not normal to see an Indian in a place so openly. I guess things had really changed since I had been gone.

"Sure am. My man Paul moved to Alaska to seek his fortune in logging." He explained to my brother in law with a roll of his eyes.

Emmett shook his head slowly. "That's a hard life. I don't envy him." His eyes changed as he realized something. He showed everything on his face. No wonder he tried to hide his face earlier. "Where are my manners? Jacob Black, this is my brother in law, Jasper Whitlock."

"We've met." Jacob said kindly. "Jasper, why don't we have a seat and discuss the work?"

Emmett looked surprised but quickly recovered and poured two more whiskeys, passing them to me. I turned slowly, handing the other glass to the Indian man. He led the way to a table in the corner of the room. I was surprised that nobody gave him a second look. People actually greeted him.

"I knew you'd need help," he said with a smile as he sat down.

"I didn't ask you though," I pointed out.

"Just because you didn't specifically ask me doesn't mean you didn't need it." He responded in a cocky, know it all, tone.

I sighed, deciding that this wasn't going to go anywhere. There was no point with fighting with a brick wall. "What's the work?"

"I own a general merchandise store and a livery. I need someone to clean, do deliveries, heavy lifting, store keeping, that sort of thing. If you're good with animals you can work with them as well, but that's up to you." He explained, taking a small sip of his drink afterwards.

"It's mindless," I commented to myself, drinking the rest of the amber liquid in the glass before sitting it down quietly.

"Do you want to think right now?"

He had a very valid point. I ran my hands roughly through my hair. "What's the pay?"

"Enough," he smirked.

A waitress brought another whiskey for the both of us. I looked over at the bar where Rosalie waved at me with a smile. I suppose all was forgive so I lifted my glass in acknowledgement. I sighed heavily. I knew if I didn't take the job with him, I'd have to tell Rose why I didn't want to take a job from her husband. I was not up for that argument.

"When would you like me to start?"

He clapped his hands together. Smiling brightly he spoke, "excellent! How about we have you start tomorrow?"

And that was how my week began. I moved into the tavern with my few things, paying a month in advance and taking most of the rest of the money that Carlisle gave me and put it into a safe. Out of sight, out of mind, so to speak. I kept a little for food, but Rose never let me pay for it.

Work at the store was just what I expected it to be. Mindless. It kept me busy enough though for most of the day that I didn't think about _her_ with_ him_.

I didn't expect Sundays to be so hard though.

**For those of you who don't know, a livery is a place where they sold animals like horses, cows, donkeys, oxen, maybe even chickens, along with all the stuff to care for them. Brushes, blankets, food, yokes, shoes. It was common for them to be connected to a store like that. **

**And btw, Alice will be coming into the story very very very soon. I mean very. **

**So, did you see Jake coming back into the story like that?**


	12. Chapter 12

The store was closed on Sundays and I couldn't use that as an excuse, sadly. So, I had an early breakfast with my family after some very annoying prompting from my overzealous sister. I knew I shouldn't have been so resistant to the idea, but once again the house brought back memories to me. She also convinced me to go to church with them.

That was a horrible idea. A very horrible idea.

I was late to come in since I told them that I needed to take care of a couple things before hand, which was a lie. I simply needed some time to myself. I was not use to being around so many people again. Not in such a normal fashion. It made me extremely nervous.

I quietly went into the church and found a seat in the back row. I didn't know why I expected them not to be there, but of course they were. It was a small town with not a lot of churches. She had always gone to this one before. I was an idiot to not figure it out sooner.

In the middle pew was beautiful Bella in her Sunday finest holding her infant daughter in her arms. She looked, actually both of them did, so peaceful. Beside her was my tiny son, entertaining himself with a wad of paper. He was too young to really care about church but he was at least smart enough to be quiet. And beside him was the man he considered to be his father.

My chest constricted painfully. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run. But, I couldn't bring myself to. I wanted to watch them. I wanted to see her looking so happy. I wanted to memorize Erin's hair and the curve of his chin, the way the light danced off his skin. I wanted to memorize his happy expression and his bright eyes. I wanted to imagine myself sitting beside him, not that red haired bastard.

Before I could even realize, the service was ending. I hadn't listened to a word that was said. I couldn't face them all together. Not now, not yet. So, I quickly ducked out of the church and went the corner to wait for my family who had actually arrived on time and had sat in the front, like a good southern family should.

I leaned against the side wall and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I felt like I had ran a hundred miles. My heart was beating a million miles an hour.

"Hiding from something or someone?" An amused voice asked. My eyes snapped open and settled on my boss.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a low whisper.

"Attending church." He shrugged his shoulders, his hands in his pockets.

"But, you're an Indian." I said for the first time out loud. As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how rude it was. Thankfully he simply rolled his eyes.

"My Father was Caddo, but my mother was English. I was raised in the finest schools in Europe, along with my sisters, until she died when I was thirteen.." He informed me.

I hung my head. "Oh, I didn't know."

"You didn't ask." He pointed out, settling on the wall beside me. He didn't seem angry or anything. I was glad he was patient enough to handle me. I knew I didn't have the best temperament. "So you didn't answer my question."

"I'm not hiding." I lied.

"Please, I am far more intelligent than that." He said with a smirk.

"Then why do you ask if you already know the answer?" I said roughly, pushing myself up from the wall.

"Because it's funny to see you squirm." He chuckled. "You'll have to face them sooner or later, you know."

"Doesn't mean I want it to be sooner." I informed him in a huff.

"Coward." He challenged with a raised eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to respond but my parents chose that moment to find me. My mother came to me first, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged her back, pressing a light kiss on her cheek before she pulled away.

"Oh, that was a lovely sermon! And such fine weather for the potluck tonight." She beamed happily.

"Potluck?" I asked with dread. I already knew that I was not going to get out of it.

"Oh yes! Once a month we have a potluck. They've done it for the past year or so. It's lovely! All the children get to play together. We share recipes. There is even music and dancing." She gushed. Yes, there was no way I would be getting out of this. I sighed, running a hand over the back of my neck.

"Well Mrs. Cullen, you do know that your food is always the finest there." Jacob complimented as he pushed himself off the wall.

"Jacob! I didn't even see you there! I'm sorry! Forgive my rudeness. How are you?" She asked as he took her hand in greeting. She smiled at him sweetly. I suppose my boss knew everyone. It was annoying.

"I am well, thank you. It always a pleasure to see you and the good doctor." Jacob said, oozing charm as he shook my stepfather's hand.

"We were very pleased when we heard about your arrangements with Jasper." My mother said delicately. I wondered if she was trying not to upset me or Jacob with this. It was more likely that she was trying to save my ego.

"I was pleased to bring him on. He is a fine worker and I do enjoy his company."

"You must not be around him very much." Rosalie said in a low voice to herself, but loud enough for my mother to hear. Esme sent her a wicked glare, wiping the sarcastic smile off of her face very quickly. Honestly it didn't bother me because frankly, she was right.

"Well Jacob, I do hope to see you tonight." My mother said, ignoring my sister.

"Of course. Actually, I should be going to get ready. Have a pleasant afternoon." He said before setting off towards his home, the apartment above the store. I wanted to follow him but I knew that there was no way I'd get out of the conversation I was about to have.

"So, Jasper," my mother began as she strolled down the street back towards the family home, "Do you wish me to prepare you a dish or do you think you'll have one of the lovely cooks at the tavern prepare it?"

"I'm not going," I mumbled. I already knew I wasn't going to get away with this but it was worth a try.

"Jasper, you have been gone for so long. You have to come. You have to reintroduce yourself to the town." My mother chided with a click of her tongue.

I looked to Carlisle for support. He gave me a look that said that I was on my own. I wouldn't be surprised if he already had this argument with her this morning. "Mother, they all know who I am. I'd rather not be there to listen to their gossip about me. Let them do it behind my back."

"They will not gossip in front of you!" She said in a huff. "Jasper, you have to show that you are above all this nonsense. You made a mistake, but times were tough then and-"

"Mother, please." I pleaded softly. By this time we were in front of the tavern. Rosalie and Emmett had already went inside, leaving me to my torture. I didn't blame them. I wish I could have slipped away from this conversation as well.

"You are coming tonight and that is final. Now, do you want one of the cooks to make you one or would you like me to make a pie to bring in your name?" She said in a no nonsense voice. I knew I had lost. There was no point trying anymore.

"Peach pie, please." I said sorely as I looked my feet.

"Just what I was thinking! I will see you tonight, darling." She said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I looked over at Carlisle who simply shrugged his shoulders. Esme was the one woman I would never, ever, win against.

I felt like an oddity. A side show freak. I was being stared at. There were other veterans there. I knew there had to be. Why was I so special? I wondered as I walked to through the crowded gathering.

Aw, yes. Because I was the idiot teenager who impregnated his sweetheart and left without any word for five years only to come back to find she was married to another man. I was a cause for great entertainment in the circles of gossip. I could hear the whispers as I passed and it was hard not to turn and scream.

And this had only been one night. Bella has had to deal with it for years.

Once again, like an idiot, I was surprised to see them there. Bella was carrying a dish while Edward held his daughter in one arm and my son's hand with the other. She sat it on the table and I could tell she was trying her best not to look in my direction. I decided to make it easier for her and sneak over to a far table. I sat down and put my head in my hands, sighing heavily in frustration.

I knew we'd have to deal with each other. I knew we would have to see each other. But, could I do this? Did I want to do this? At least she had moved on somewhat. But, the wounds were still very fresh for me.

"Rough night?" A girl asked as she sat a drink in front of me. It looked like tea. I recognized her as one of the waitresses at the tavern, but I wasn't sure of her name. I had barely noticed anyone lately. I was too wrapped up in myself.

"You could say that."

**Hey guys! I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. It's fantastic. But, I wanted to see if you guys could do something for me. See, I was hoping to get around 50 reviews for each chapter. I really want to know what you think about this story. I was getting that the first couple, but I haven't for the last few. This story is important to me and I want to know what you think! **

**So, here is the deal. If the normal updates (Monday through Friday) receive at least 50 reviews a piece, I will give you guys an extra update a week. So, it's up to you! What do you think? More sooner for just a few seconds of feedback? Does that sound like a good deal to you?**

**So, who is the waitress? Any ideas? Hm?**


	13. Chapter 13

"They happen," the tiny dark haired girl said with a shrug.

"They happen to some people more than others." I mumbled, looking down at the checkered red and white table cloth. I picked at a piece of string that really didn't seem to be there, but I needed to keep my hands and eyes busy so I wouldn't have to look at her. I still saw her out of the corner of my eye though.

She made a little face of concern then smiled brightly. "Perhaps a little dinner would change your mood?"

She seemed so cheerful, the complete opposite of me. I had go to get away from it, at least for a second. "Perhaps," was all I replied before standing up and heading towards the food table in the center of the party.

I wasn't hungry but I felt like a fool simply standing up there doing nothing. So, I grabbed a plate and began to browse simply to look busy. The selection was vast and was filled with all the southern staples, not that any of them interested me. Finally I decided to settle on a piece of my mother's pie. At least I knew that tasted good if I decided to actually eat it at some point.

"Excuse me," a tiny voice asked from beside me. I looked down and instantly froze. "Is that grandma Esme's pie?" Erin asked, oblivious to my shocked expression.

It took me a second to realize he was asking me a question and was actually expecting a response. I cleared my throat and shook my head of the fog. "Yes, it is."

"Can you fix me a piece, please?" He asked with innocent blue eyes that would charm just about anyone out of anything. He'd be dangerous with those eyes later in life. He'd be very good with the girls.

"EJ, no sweetheart. Don't bother the nice man." Bella said as she scooped my son up in her arms. Almost as if she was protecting him. Did she really feel the need to protect him from me?

"Bella, no. Wait, please. He's not bothering me." I said, my eyes locked on hers. Her sparkling brown eyes gleamed slightly moist in the dim lantern light. She looked frightened and I hated that it was my fault. She was almost in tears it would seem.

"Not now, Jasper." She mumbled, her face starting to turn a light shade of red. It always turned that color when she was upset, scared, or in pain. I wasn't sure which one she was right now. Probably all three.

"What, mommy?" The boy asked, looking utterly confused. He hadn't done anything wrong and he didn't know why he was getting fussed at.

"No, honey. I'm talking to him." She said as she nodded her head towards me, her eyes downcast the entire time.

"Your name is Jasper too?!" He asked in utter excitement. It was apparently the most amazing thing in the world to meet someone with the same name as you. But, I suppose for him it was, especially an adult._ If he only knew... _

I couldn't help but smile at him. He was so small and sweet. "It sure is." I responded more brightly than I actually felt. My smile instantly faded though when I saw the bronze haired doctor walking towards us.

"Everything alright, love?" He asked, eying me nervously. I couldn't blame him for being nervous. I'd be nervous if our roles were reversed too. I was the man that threatened to take all his happiness away. I would if I could, anyway.

"Fine," I muttered in response to his question. "I was just leaving anyway."

"Jasper," Bella said in a pleading voice but I was already walking away. I didn't want to hear it anyway. I don't think anything she would have said would have mattered in the least at the moment.

I trudged my way away from the church front and went around the back of the store fronts. I really had no idea where I was going. I was heading away from my family's home along with the tavern. I would have to walk back eventually, not that I wanted to.

_Love_. He called her love. Of course he did. She was his love. They were married. It was normal.

It was just another nail in my coffin is all.

I pulled out the gold band from my blue jean pocket and sat myself down on the dirt covered ground. I didn't know where I was and I didn't care. It didn't matter.

She was never going to come back to me. She didn't even want our son to talk to me.

I took the ring and chunked it violently behind my head. I couldn't look at it anymore. I didn't want it anymore. It was just another reminder of a life I was never going to have.

"I guess the food didn't help." A light voice said behind me. I didn't even bother to turn around as I responded to her words.

"I guess not."

"This is an expensive trinket to be throwing around." The girl replied sweetly as she sat down beside me, her legs out in front of her. She tried to hand me the band back but I refused to take it from her tiny hands. I refused to even look at it, or her, for that matter.

"I don't want it. Why don't you keep it?" I muttered as I looked up at the night time sky. The stars were out, bright and sparkling, simply to torment me, I think.

"Oh, thank you!" She smiled, slipping the gold onto the middle finger of her right hand. Her hands were so tiny and it still seemed big. "I'm Alice, by the way."

"Jasper."

"Oh, I know." She said in a sweet, twinkling, little voice.

"And, how do you know?" I replied back sarcastically. For some reason her sweetness simply got on my nerves. I knew it wasn't her. She was being kind. It was just me.

My venom didn't slow her down one bit. "Emmett is my cousin. I work in the Black bear. Sometimes I'm a waitress but most of the time I'm one of the cooks."

"Oh," was my intelligent response.

"So, why are you sitting in the middle of an alley in the middle of the night?" She asked in an all too cheerful voice.

"I'm surprised you don't know already." I mumbled. "Everyone else seems to."

"They do. But, I was wondering if you had any particular reason right now." Alice answered with a shrug.

I laughed without humor. "When did everyone become so damn nosy?"

"They were always nosy. You're from a small town. You should be use to it by now." She pointed out.

"Maybe it's just me then." I replied back in a low voice.

"They're not all against you, you know that? They don't mean any harm by it really. They're just not use to having such a juicy gossip topic. It'll get old quick and move on." She said in an intelligent voice, her eyes looking up towards the sky as she spoke.

I turned and searched her face. It was genuine and sweet. It was the first time I really noticed her. She was a tiny little thing with creamy pale white skin that glowed in the moonlight. Her eyes were large and cat like framed in thick long black eyelashes. The deep green orbs seem to dance in the light, sparkling happily. Her full lips were pursed in a small smile. She didn't seem to have a care in the world. I wondered how it felt.

"How old are you?" I asked quietly.

"Eighteen."

"So wise for someone so young." I said sarcastically.

"Not so much wise in the way of the world as in the ways of gossip." She giggled before standing. "I wouldn't let them bother you too much. Things will get better."

"How do you know?" I asked as I stood as well.

"I just do." She beamed, tapping her forehead. "Thank you for the ring." And with that she planted a firm kiss on my cheek and turned, leaving me stunned and speechless.

It was the first kiss I had received in almost five years and the spot still burned from the contact.

I somehow managed to walk to that potluck and make myself a plate of food before handing back to the tavern. It was the first night in a week that I went to bed completely sober.

It was an odd feeling. I'm not sure I liked it or not. The being sober or the kiss, for that matter.

**First off, yes they had jeans back then. They were invented in the 1850's sometime. They were more common as work clothes. Jasper didn't have a lot of different kinds of clothes so, yeah he would have worn them. Not like he cared about impressing anyone. **

**Yes! Finally! Alice. Now you can leave me alone about her lol So, what do you think of her?**

**And remember, 50 reviews a chapter equals extra update a week. You guys did awesome with yesterdays chapter... Can you do it again?**


	14. Chapter 14

"Good morning, Jasper." Alice grinned at me sweetly. This was the third morning in a row that she served me breakfast. I didn't even order this morning. She simply brought it to me. "Ham steak, buttered toast, sliced red tomatoes, and black coffee. Do you need anything else?" She said, wiping her tiny hands on the slightly soiled white apron that was tied around her waist.

She was still wearing the gold band. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I guess at least it was getting some kind of good use. Better than burning a hole in my pocket anyway.

"No, thank you." I said politely. I tried to return the smile but I'm not sure how convincing it was. It seemed so hard for me to smile now. It use to be so easy.

"Let me know before you go today, please. I need to see you." She didn't even wait for a response before turning quickly on her heel and heading for the kitchen.

"Alright," I mumbled at her backside. At least it was a good view.

I was curious and slightly nervous about what she wanted. It's not like I had to pay, even though I had attempted to settle my dinner and bar tab on a daily basis with either Rosalie or Emmett. I had been leaving Alice a big tip when she waited on me to be nice. I suppose it could have been about that. Maybe it was too much or too little. I wasn't sure if she was that blunt though. She didn't seem to be shy either though.

Or, it could have been about the ring.

I finished my breakfast rather quickly and made my way over to the kitchen door. I had yet to go in there and I wasn't really sure what to do. I raised my fist to know but the door popped open a second before my hand connected to the wood.

Alice's eyes went wide with surprise and she jumped back a bit. "Goodness! You scared me!" She said in a small breathless laugh.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." I said in way of a brief apology. I caught myself staring at her. I wasn't sure why but it made me feel more nervous. I cleared my throat and looked down at my feet before speaking. "You wanted to see me?"

"Oh yes, I did. Emmett wanted me to go buy some things from Jacob and I was hoping you would let me walk with you there and then deliver the supplies afterwards?"

_Well, that wasn't what I was expecting, _I thought to myself. Though, it did make some sort of sense. I wasn't sure why I was nervous before.

"Sure, that would be alright with me. I was about to leave. Are you ready to go now?"

She beamed up at me from her tiny height. "Just let me tell Rose I'm leaving."

Before I had a chance to respond she had already went back into the kitchen. I wasn't sure where I should wait for her. Here? By the door? Outside? I felt like an idiot as I tried to decide. I was practically squirming in place.

I had just about made up my mind to wait outside when she came out of the kitchen finally. The apron she had been wearing was now gone and she seemed so much more child like without it. She was still beautiful though.

I felt a rush of guilt run through me at the thought. Bella was the beautiful one. The only one.

I wasn't sure why I was so loyal to her. I didn't want to be. Nor need to be for that matter. Bella didn't want me anymore. It was still hard to try and brush away the strange mix of emotions that I was feeling at the moment though. Anger, guilt, sadness, and confusion. I tried to push them back, but they still bubbled to the surface.

"I'm ready," Alice said, pulling me out of my tangle of strange thoughts.

"Sure," I mumbled as we walked outside into the early Texas spring day. It was already warm and the air was already thick with moisture. It was just going to keep getting hotter. I could already tell.

"Thanks for waiting for me. I thought it would be nice to walk with someone." She said pleasantly, her arms swinging gracefully at her side as she walked. She had a quick step and had an easy time keeping up with my long stride. It was unusual for a woman truthfully.

"Nice," I responded, still too lost in my own head to really have a real conversation.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked in her kindly tone, surprising me. Perhaps that's why I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I flushed as soon as the words left my mouth. I wanted so badly to shove them back in.

She giggled, stopping to look at me. Her deep sparkling green eyes locked on me. "Would you prefer me to be mean.?"

"No, of course not." I responded quickly, embarrassed. I knew she was teasing me and it seem to make it all the more worse in a way. I hated to be so unsure. Alice put me out of sorts. Even more so than I already was.

She started to walk again, moving a little ahead of me before I started again as well. "Everyone deserves to be treated kindly and with respect no matter what their past is, Jasper."

"You're not like most girls." I said softly, talking mainly to her back. Her long black hair bounced with every springy step.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" She asked as she peered over her shoulder. Her pretty pink lips were pursed in a small smile.

"Good," I shrugged, still following behind her. I made no attempt to catch up with her. I wasn't sure if I wanted to look directly at her when I spoke anyway.

"I just think everyone deserves a friend is all." She shrugged in returned, looking forward again as she spoke.

"I should introduce you to... a _friend_ of mine. I'm sure she could use a friend like you." I commented almost to myself, thinking of the beautiful mother of my child. I still felt so horrible that I had left her at such a bad time. A time when she needed me the most. She could have used anyone at that point, I'm sure.

"Actually, Bella and I are very good friends. We have lunch together at least once a week." Alice replied knowingly. I didn't even have to say her name. I suppose it didn't take a genius to figure it all out. But still, it surprised me.

I gaped at her response, watching her as she practically danced into the store. I wanted to drill her with questions but I had no idea where to start and I knew that now wasn't the best time since I was at work.

"So, what can I do for you today?" Jacob asked Alice just as I stepped inside.

"Emmett wanted me to pick up a few things for him since he's out on business today. He said that he could give you the cash with the regular delivery tomorrow or you could come in tonight to get it, if you would like." Alice answered as she handed him a folded up piece of paper.

Jacob took the list, nodding his head as he read it over. "I'll get it from him tomorrow."

"Oh, and if it's alright can Jasper deliver it? It's just us girls today and some of it's rather heavy." Alice added in a charming voice that would have convinced anyone of anything.

"That's what he's here for." Jacob smiled. "Give us a bit and we'll get this loaded into the wagon for you."

It took almost an hour to get all the things she wanted ready and placed in the delivery wagon. It was killing me how badly I wanted to ask questions as she browsed around the store, picking out a few things of her own to buy. I decided to keep my mouth shut though and ask when we were alone. I'd corner her if I had to. There were certain things I had to know.

"Would you like Jasper to deliver the goods tomorrow as well?" Jacob asked as he loaded the final things into the bed. I probably should have minded that he talked about me like I wasn't there but I couldn't bring up the energy to. At least he wasn't rude about it.

"Oh, yes. That would be great. Around lunch time?"

"Just about. Probably an hour or so before." Jacob responded in his business like tone.

"Perfect." Alice said sweetly as she climbed into the wagon. "Jasper, are you coming?" She called, pulling me out of my own little world.

I nodded, quickly jumping into the front to drive. I took the reigns and urged the horses forward. The wagon started with a jerk, pushing us towards the tavern. It was so heavy with goods that it was extremely slow.

Alice suddenly turned towards me, a strange look in her eyes. "I won't tell you anything Bella wouldn't want you to know."

**I like Alice in this. She's got a sort of knowing air about her without being psychic. It's overly done. It's kind of a key part in this story anyway that Alice isn't 'all knowing'. **

**I know some of you have been thinking that Jasper is getting over Bella... but is he really? It takes more than a week to get over a child hood love and sometimes, you never do. Just some food for thought. **

**Remember, 50 reviews equals extra update. You can do it! **

**By the way, there is a new poll on my profile pertaining to this story... I've gotten a lot of comments along these lines, wanting this. If you're curious to what it is... go check out the poll! **

**So, what do you think Jasper wants to know?**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sorry for the late update. Internet issues.**_

"What?" I sputtered out, shocked at her knowing. Was I that obvious?

"I said I won't tell you anything Bella wouldn't want you to know. I am sure you have some questions and that's normal. I would have some too. So, go ahead and ask. I just wanted to give you that warning first." She said with a wave of her hand, urging me to continue.

It took me a moment to gather myself. I decided to go with the very safe questions first, then build up. I might get more information that way.

"When did you meet Bella?"

"Right after she had EJ. I moved in with my aunt and uncle when my mom died. Rosalie and Emmett were just starting to court and he took me with him to see her. Bella was at their home a lot. We bonded." She shrugged, her eyes looking a little distant. "We still talk about it sometimes when we have our weekly lunches and such."

Well, she answered my next safe question of how they met but I realized the sad detail she had given me about herself. "I'm sorry about your mother."

"It's alright." She said with a small sigh. "Bella really helped me get over that. She understood..." Alice trailed off with a small smile. After a second she spoke again. "Next question."

"Do you really see her at least once a week?"

"Every Saturday. Sometimes Esme-"

"My mother?" I asked, interrupting her before she could really get started.

She rolled her eyes almost dramatically. "Yes, your mother. Sometimes she takes the kids for the day and we have lunch together. I help her around the house with some chores and we play games or sew." She explained. "If the kids are there I watch them so she can get everything she needs to do done quicker and then we all have a picnic if the weather is nice."

"What's Erin like?" I asked suddenly, surprising myself.

Alice giggled lightly. "He's a sweet little thing. All boy too. He would flirt with a brick wall if he thought it would get him his way. He usually gets it too. Boy, and is he smart! He can't wait for school next year. He wants to be a doctor just like his-" She stopped suddenly, realizing her mistake. "I'm sorry." The regret in her eyes was easy to see as she spoke quickly.

"It's fine. His daddy. He wants to be like his daddy and I realize that it's not me." I said tersely.

"Jasper..." She trailed off quietly, obviously not knowing what to say. What do you say to that? I didn't think there was anything.

"No, Alice. It's fine. He may be my son but I know I'm not his father. I just wish Bella didn't want me to not be a part of his life." I said lowly, sad.

"It's not that she doesn't want you there for him. It's that she doesn't know how. It's hard, you know? For you. For her. But it will be even harder for EJ. When Bella, when both of you, are ready you will figure a way to make it work." She answered, placing her hand on top of mine and giving it a light squeeze.

I stopped in front of the Black Bear and turned to look at her. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so." She nodded her head, her eyes full of a certainty that was hard to argue with.

"I hope so." I sighed heavily and put the reigns down. "Come on, lets get this stuff inside."

It was starting to get hot outside. I mean, very hot. The muggy heat was making sweat pour down my chest, neck, and face as I carried the things inside. Alice was helping by taking the smaller items but she was starting to turn a slight shade of pink so I told her to go get us something cool to drink. It would take us a while longer to do this and I didn't want her to pass out from the heat. Without even a single thought I took off my shirt.

I had just hoisted a twenty pound bag of potatoes onto one of my shoulder when I heard the soft gasp. "Oh, my."

Alice was standing there with two glasses of lemonade in her hands. Her face was bright red and her mouth was hanging open. I instantly dropped the bag and hopped down from the wagon bed. "Are you feeling alright?" I asked, concerned that she was about to faint. I had been around my father long enough to know that it didn't take much, especially for a tiny woman like Alice.

"Y-yes. I-I am fine," she stuttered, her eyes going to the ground as she handed me one of the glasses. It was then that I realized what she was surprised about. Or rather, what she was disgusted about.

My scars.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even think. No one wants to see these." I mumbled, quickly going after my shirt. I turned my back to her after placing the glass on the wagon. I couldn't look at her. I was too embarrassed. "I'm horrifying." I mumbled to myself as I hurried to button the fabric. I felt tiny fingers dance across my spine, making a shiver run down it at the contact.

"No, you're not. You're beautiful."

I gasped. I felt her fingers move away a moment later. I turned to see her, to look at her reaction, but she was already back inside. I don't know what I would have said to her anyway. I felt bad that I had embarrassed her though. She was a good woman and she didn't deserve to feel that way for any reason.

I hurried to finish moving the rest of the things to the storage area. I decided that when I was done I needed to do something to ease her mind. I had so few people in my life and I needed every single one of them, including her.

I went to the kitchen door and pushed it in slowly. Inside was Alice along with a couple other women that I hadn't met before. Alice was busy at work making something, flour covering her hands and dusted across her pixie nose. I coughed to get her attention, not wanting to stare too long. Her head popped up along with the other women's. She immediately flushed pink when she saw me.

This was going to be harder than I would have liked.

"I just wanted to let you know that I was all done." I began, thinking that was the easiest way to start.

"Alright." She nodded, looking down at her feet. The other women were still looking at me. They didn't look happy for some reason. I didn't know why. I hadn't done anything to them.

"Did you need me to do anything else while I'm here?" I offered.

She shook her head. "No, I have kept you away from work long enough for today." She bit her lip before looking up at me. "Thank you though."

"It was no problem. It's my job." I replied back, trying to ease her mind. It didn't seem to work though and she frowned as she turned back to her big mixing bowl. I rubbed my hand over my face, feeling like an idiot more and more by the second. I didn't know where to start with her. I didn't know where I stood with her. I decided to do something small. I wanted to let her know that I wanted to see her again without coming out to say it. "Hey Alice?"

"Yes?" She replied, her eyes looking hopeful.

"Tomorrow for breakfast how about bacon and biscuits?"

Her tiny frown turned into a bright smile and she nodded her head eagerly. "Sounds good. I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning then, Jasper."

"So, Alice Brandon?" Jacob asked once I had returned to the store.

"What about her?" I asked as I put on my apron and grabbed a broom from the corner.

"She's a fine woman." He replied with a smile. "Young, sweet, good cook, comes from a decent family. Not to mention she's good looking-"

"Jacob, please..." I rolled my eyes. "When did you become a matchmaker? You sound like my mother." I told him, hoping this would shut him up. I should have known I was wrong to even think I could accomplish something like that.

"I will take that as a compliment because your mother is a fine person." He said with an obnoxious grin. I wanted to punch it right off his face.

"You're an idiot," I mumbled as I swept around the shelf. I would settle for attacking the dust bunnies instead of my boss. It seemed like the option that was least likely to get me fired.

"Sure, sure. You say that now. Just you wait. You'll see..." He said with an annoying and knowing grin, going off to the back thankfully.

Once again I had to remind myself that it wasn't nice to punch your boss.

**Hey guys! I wanted to start out this little AN to explain Erin's name completely. I've gotten a ton of comments on it. There are several reasons I used Erin. First off, because it starts with an E. That's an important reason. Second, yes, it's extremely Irish, that's another reason. Now, I've gotten complaints that Erin is a girl's name and all I can say to that is so? I've taught a male Erin before. Besides, names like Ashley, Tyler, Taylor are males name and we use them today as female. They did stuff back then as well. It wasn't as common, but it was done. But, the main reason I picked Erin was so that he'd have the initials EJ... like in Breaking Dawn. You know, Bella named her 'son' Edward Jacob. Since that name didn't exactly fit, I changed it up a bit. So, if I get any more comments about the name, I'm going to send ya back to this chapter, lol okay?**

**You guys are well on your way to another chapter this week! Just remember 50 equals extra chapter!**

**I have a poll on my profile, please check it out! It's for this story...**

**Hm, what do you think has Alice all flushed? **


	16. Chapter 16

I went to bed thinking about several things. Alice and her words from this afternoon. Jacob and his theories. But most of all Bella. Always Bella.

It shouldn't have surprised me to dream about her. I had been having dreams with her in them, in some way or the other, for years. They had just been nightmares the past couples of weeks. I guess I was just surprised that it was this memory.

_It was a midsummer's night. A small storm was brewing outside and it was making everyone nervous for some reason. Charlie, Bella's father and the sheriff of this little town, was pulled away from a dinner at our home. There was apparently some sort of cattle rustling spotted on the outskirts of town and he needed to see what was going on. They were wanted in three other counties and had been causing a lot of trouble. _

"_Carlisle, would you mind watching over Bella until I get done? The weather looks like it's going to be rough and I don't want her home alone." He said as he stood from the dinner table, his deputy waiting by the doorway for him. _

"_Of course not. Bella is always welcome here. Don't worry about a single thing." My father assured him. _

_Bella and I grinned at each other. We knew we would get some time alone together tonight. We hadn't become open in our relationship yet but I think her father knew. He never wanted us to be alone, if he could help it. We had been together for almost six months at the time. It was getting harder and harder to hide our affections. Soon we would have to tell everyone. _

"_Thanks, Carlisle." He went to Bella, kissing the top of her head. "Be a good girl."_

"_Always am." Bella giggled before turning serious. "Be safe."_

"_Alway am." He gave her a smile before leaving. I waited until I was sure Charlie was completely gone before speaking up. _

"_I'm done. May I be excused?" I asked my mother. _

_She gave me a knowing smile. A smile she had been using more and more of lately. "Of course."_

"_I was going to take a walk in the orchard before the weather turns. Bella, would you care to join me?"_

_Bella looked over at my mother quickly who nodded her head. She gave me a glorious smile. "I would love to."_

"_You two have fun but don't be out too long." My mother called but we were halfway to the door. We were both eager to be alone. _

"_Yes, ma'am." We called at the same time as we exited the house. _

_She grabbed my hand and took off at a dead run towards the trees. I laughed as I passed her up, pulling her with me. _

_The orchard was one of our favorite places. Fragrant and full of flowers. Always beautiful, even in the dead of winter when the trees were bare. Everything was green now though, ever single different kind of tree. _

_Bella stopped suddenly and pulled me hard against a tree, pushing herself against me. My arms instantly went to her waist as her fingers tugged at my hair. She pressed her mouth hard to mine, covering it with heavy kisses. I couldn't help but moan into her sweet mouth. _

"_God, I've missed this..." She moaned against my lips before attacking them again. _

"_You're not the only one." I smiled at her wickedly before picking her up. Her legs automatically went around my waist as I pressed her against the thick bark of the pecan tree. I wanted her so badly but I knew we couldn't do it like this. We would have to wait until we were married. I pressed my mouth to hers again, banishing the thought. The only things I wanted to think about were her mouth and her hands, which were now starting to slide down the back of my pants. _

"_Bella..." I said in a warning tone. _

_Her hands gripped hard before sliding back up to my hair. "What?" She asked, blinking her eyes innocently at me. I knew better. _

"_You shouldn't do that."_

"_Why not?" She grinned. Playfully she nipped at my bottom lip, sucking it between her luscious ones. A heavy chill ran down my spine and I involuntarily ground my hips into her. It's like they had a mind of their own. _

"_We're not married."_

"_So..." She said, her mouth going to my ear. She bit the lobe gently. "Shut up and kiss me, Jasper."_

_I growled at her before attacking her neck, causing her to giggle and throw her head back. My mouth was hungrily devouring her flesh, licking and kissing where ever I could. Almost every part of her body was firmly pressed against mine. I could even feel her heartbeat. "I love to feel you like this..." I mumbled against her flesh. _

"_Mm... Jasper..." She moaned my name, her voice thick. My hand inched closer and closer to her chest, just dying to touch her there. I was almost there when I heard her say, "um, Jasper?"_

"_What? Sorry..." I mumbled embarrassedly, my hand going back to her waist as my face turned red. _

"_No, not that, stupid. It's starting to rain." She laughed, tugging on my hair. Instead of realizing what she said, I noticed what she didn't say. She didn't mind me touching her breasts. I wanted to so badly. They were always so... I sighed, pulling myself out that train of thought. I needed to calm down before we went inside. _

"_Come on, before we get too wet." I said, setting her down to her feet. _

_Later that night we were all in the den in front of the fire. The weather had turned completely nasty, beating the house with heavy rain. We were all together in the front, entertaining ourselves. My step father and I were reading while my mother and Bella worked on a quilt together. They'd been sewing on it together since my birthday ball. It was full of memories from it. Like fabric from the table clothes and other things like that. It was very sweet. I loved it. Rosalie was being her normal vain self and was working on her hair. I wasn't even sure what she was doing to it. _

"_Doc!" Someone screamed from the front door. They hadn't even bothered to knock. It took me a moment to realize that it was Sam Uley, the deputy, who had come in. "Doctor, come quick. It's the sheriff... He's been shot."_

_Bella gasped loudly as my father shot out of his chair. I dropped my book and instantly ran to Bella's side. "Get him to my study! Jasper, get Bella out of here. She doesn't need to see this. Take her to your room."_

_She opened her mouth to protest as she began to move forward. Before she could get anywhere I scooped her up in my arms. I carried her up the stairs, kicking and screaming. I deposited her on the bed with a heavy thud. _

"_I need to see him!" _

"_Bella, you're just going to get in the way. Let them work." I said, kneeling in front of her. _

_She nodded her head solemnly. Bella held her hands out to me and I quickly took her into my arms, holding her to my chest. I rocked her slowly on the floor, my face buried in her hair. _

_I don't know how long we stayed like that. The rain never let up though. Bella sobbed herself to sleep in my arms. I couldn't let her go though. After what seems like hours there was a knock on my door. Bella's head instantly shot up, her eyes going wide as she began to shake. _

_Carlisle opened the door, blood on his shirt and his eyes sad. "I'm sorry... I did everything I could."_

_Bella shrieked, pushing out of my arms. She pushed past Carlisle, rushing down the stairs. "Daddy? Daddy, where are you?" She was half crazed, her eyes unseeing. At least, I wish they were. They obviously saw the horrifying scene in front of her. _

_Charlie lay limply on a table, his eyes half open. Part of his shoulder was missing and blood was everywhere. I knew by looking at him there wasn't much Carlisle could have done. He just tried because of Bella, who was now dropping to the floor like a stone, crying loudly. _

_I tried to pick her up, tried to comfort her, but she twisted out of my arms. She bolted towards the door, simply trying to get away from the scene in front of her. I darted after her, knowing exactly where she'd head. _

_I went straight to the orchard, nearly tripping over her hunched form. She had tripped in the mud, the rain soaking through her clothes already. I knelt beside her crying form, not knowing what to do. _

"_I am so sorry, Bella."_

"_He can't be gone. He just can't." She cried, her hands in front of her face. _

"_It'll be alright..." I tried to tell her. She shot up, her face angry. _

"_Alright? How, Jasper? How will it be alright?" _

"_Bella, I'll make it alright. Please." I whimpered, no knowing what else to do or say. She looked so broken. "I love you..."_

_Her eyes softened. "I love you, too." _

_I took her carefully into my arms and held her to me. It didn't matter about the rain. I kissed her firmly, giving her all that I had. _

"_Jasper, never leave me..."_

I woke up gasping and panting, the pain practically killing me. This was worse than any nightmare I could come up with my own. It wasn't a year later when I marched off with the army, doing the one thing she asked of me that night. The one thing I promised not to do, ever.

I didn't deserve her then and I didn't deserve her now.

I looked at my clock, running my hand over my face. It was still early but I decided to get up. I had a breakfast to get to.

**I had some questions to what had happen to Charlie and this is it. Very emotional memory. By the way, more to come with Bella AND Alice very soon. Should be interesting. And no, no threesome... ever. Sorry for bursting that little bubble. **

**Just to let you guys know I started posting again with my other stories, A moment too late and Pieces of time. Check em out for me and tell me what you think! **

**So, remember guys, if you want an extra posting this week... 50 reviews!**

**So, what do you think of Jasper and Bella together in this memory?**


	17. Chapter 17

I shaved my face carefully, taking my time to get ready today. I didn't need to be in any hurry. The sun was just starting to rise outside and I knew I was getting up about thirty minutes earlier than I normally did.

I dressed in my jeans and a long sleeve shirt even though it was going to be another hot day before heading downstairs. I was the only one in the tavern it seemed like except for Alice who was leaning against the back of the bar, looking completely bored. She immediately perked up, a small smile growing on her face.

"You're up early." She commented, coming around to greet me.

"Couldn't sleep," I shrugged. I picked my normal table and sat down. I was becoming quite the creature of habit. It was something that the military had taught me. It made things easier to deal with in a way. I needed order right now anyway.

"Do you still want bacon and biscuits?" She asked a little too brightly. It was actually kind of cute.

"Yes, please. And, Alice?" I said just as she turned her back to me to go to the kitchen.

"Yea?"

"Why don't you join me today?" I found myself saying before I even realized the words were coming out of my mouth. They kind of went on their own. My brain was working against me.

Her grin grew wider. "Alright. Give me a few minutes. Want coffee?"

"Black, please."

She nodded her head before literally skipping off towards the kitchen. I actually smiled to myself as I leaned back in my chair, waiting for her to get done.

Bella didn't want me anymore, even if I wanted her. Alice seem to care for me though. I liked her. I mean, it was no where close to what I felt for Bella but I was positive no one would come that close ever again. No where within miles. But, it would be nice to have some sort of companionship.

I felt a little guilty for thinking that. It almost felt as if I was using Alice. But... I didn't know what else to do. I had to move on and this seem to be the best way. She seemed willing for the attention as well.

Alice came back a few minutes later with a tray of food. Bacon, biscuits, butter, jam, fresh fruit, a pot of coffee, two plates, forks, and even napkins. I couldn't help but laugh. "Went a bit overboard?"

She shrugged as she sat it down in the middle. "It'll get eaten."

"You and my mother are both trying to fatten me up." I commented as a took a few pieces of bacon from the plate and placing it on my own. Alice shrugged her shoulders lightly as she poured us each a cup of coffee.

"Just don't want you to go off to work hungry. Especially when you'll be doing all that heavy lifting for me later."

"For you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She flushed a little bit, looking down at her plate. "I mean, Emmett. The bar, of course. The delivery later."

I couldn't understand why she blushed. I wanted to ask about it but I wasn't sure how to bring it up so I let it pass. I took a bite of my food before speaking again. "So, do you like working here?"

"Yes, it's nice. It's nice to have my own money and place."

"Where do you live?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I had no idea. I think I would have noticed if she lived here.

"I have a small apartment up the road. It's mainly single women. There are a lot of us, especially after the war." She explained as she stirred in a spoonful of sugar into her coffee.

I felt awkward and unsure what to say to her. I knew it would be right to have conversation with her. It would have been so much easier with Bella. We never seem to be quiet. I just wasn't sure what to say to Alice. She was so different, though not in an unpleasant way.

"I don't normally see you in here at night." I commented, trying to grasp for a subject to talk about.

She shrugged, basically picking apart her meal. She wasn't really eating it. "No, I get off around three normally, so I usually either go home or go to friends. Things like that. I'm not really much of a drinker and that's what this place turns into at night."

"Well, maybe you should..." I cleared my throat nervously, picking my words carefully, " I mean, maybe you could come in one night and have a drink with me. Just one though. Don't think you could handle that much." I said, trying to flirt. I was doing a poor job of it. I wanted to smack myself in the head for even attempting. I cringed as I waited for her response.

She giggled lightly. "No, I couldn't. But, perhaps one drink? Maybe tonight?"

"Yeah?" I looked up, surprised.

"Yes, I'd like that."

I tried to give her my best smile but it all seemed forced. I quickly went back to eating simply to keep my mouth busy. I wasn't sure what I'd talk about with her anyway. When we were all done, I stood up from the table. "Thanks, Alice. That was good."

"Glad you liked it." She said with a sweet little smile, standing as well to clear the dishes.

"I, um, guess I'll see you later then." I said nervously, not sure what else to say. If I was perusing this woman for a companion, I was doing a horrible job of it.

"Alright then," she said softly, her deep green eyes peering up into mine. We locked on each others for a moment. I had the strangest urge, and for some reason, I followed through with it. I leaned over and lightly kissed her cheek. "I'll see you this afternoon."

"Alright..." I heard her say in a breathless voice as I walked out. I smiled to myself, a little too proud.

I should have known right then that today was not going to end well.

Surprisingly Jacob didn't give me much trouble about Alice that morning. Though, it was probably because he wanted me to hurry up with the delivery. The sky was starting to turn a dark shade of gray and the wind was beginning to whip the trees around.

I hurried the wagon over to the tavern, moving all the things inside. It was much quicker with Emmett helping. Alice was waiting for me with a bag when I was done.

"What's all this?" I asked as I peered inside.

"Lunch," she said softly then added quickly. "For you and Jacob. Don't want you to go out in that weather today. There are a couple meat pies, some corn bread, a couples peaches..." She trailed off, looking up at me shyly. "I hope that's alright."

"Sure, that's great. Thank you. You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. Anyway, you should get going. I'll see you tonight?" She said the last part in a whisper. I nodded my head. She motioned for me to come closer and I did slowly, wondering what she was up to. When I was within range she placed her hand on my cheek and lightly kissed the other.

Once again my flesh burned pleasantly with the contact.

I drove back to the store in a daze, heading inside. Jacob raised an eyebrow, looking at me with concern. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," I shook my head of the fog. "I brought lunch for us."

"Mm, excellent. Let's take it to the back, shall we? I don't think anyone is going to be coming in during this weather anyway."

We went to the small storage room he had in the back. It had a table with a couple of chairs, along with a small heating stove where he usually kept coffee. He poured us each a mug as I pulled out everything for us.

"My goodness, that Alice must have it bad for you." He teased as he saw everything we had. It was more than what she mentioned, that was for sure.

"Shut up," I mumbled before taking a bite of the pie. Jacob snickered, but said nothing else as he began to eat as well. We were just about done when we heard the bell up front sound. I sighed heavily, not really wanting to work. "I wonder who that could be. They're an idiot for coming out into the rain."

Jacob rolled his eyes before standing up. "I don't know. You finish lunch and I'll go check. I don't want you to scare the costumers away with your enthusiasm." He said sarcastically.

"Thanks. I'll try to calm myself down." I mumbled before taking a bite of my peach, putting my feet up on the table to bring my point home. The only point being that I was equally sarcastic and an ass to boot.

Jacob simply smirked at me before shaking his head. He went into the store to tend to whichever stupid person had come out in the horrible weather. They had no business being outside.

"Well, hello Mrs. Masen, how are you doing today?"

**Okay, it seemed like the begging for 50 reviews in trade for an extra update was going to work until the last couple of chapters. Sigh. Oh well, that's okay. Thank you though for everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome.**

**I like sarcastic Jasper. He makes me smile.**

**Soooooo who's ready for Bella time?!**


	18. Chapter 18

**I love that most of you thought that Bella knew he was working there. For those who figured out she probably didn't... bravo!**

I nearly chocked on the bite of fruit in my mouth as my feet dropped to the floor with a heavy thud. I stood up quickly and went to the door, peering out to confirm what my ears had heard. I already knew the answer but I had to make sure for myself.

"I'm fine. Thank you, Jacob. And, yourself?" She asked politely as she went over to a particular shelf, her eyes glancing over something.

"Fine, fine. No kids today?" He asked conversationally, his eyes glancing towards the door. They looked for mine for a moment and went wide. He shook his head for a moment so she wouldn't see. I shook my head back. He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Oh, no." Bella looked up at him and grinned. "They're staying with Mrs. Cullen today."

"Ah, yes. I know how she enjoys those children." Jacob said. As soon as she went back to looking his eyes went back to mine. I knew he was pleading with me to do something other than make a fool out of myself. We had already crossed that bridge and I didn't care anymore.

"She spoils them rotten." She mumbled, picking up something and placing it in her arms.

"That's a grandmother's job." Jacob shrugged in response. "Is there anything I can help you with today?"

"Oh, I've got it. I just need a couple things. I was going to make something for dinner but the pan I needed has seemed to disappear. I fear it has something to do with one of the rotten little angels." She said with a teasing smile up at Jacob. How I wished she was smiling at me like that. "I'll probably find it in six months when I am cleaning out from underneath my bed. But, for now I'll simply have to buy a new one."

She came around another shelf, the one closest to the storage room. I sucked in a deep breath, catching what I could of her lovely scent. It wasn't much, but it was enough. My fingers gripped the door frame tighter, clutching it for support. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up in my arms, and kiss her wildly. I knew I couldn't do that right now though. I didn't want to scare her off.

"Well, it's always good to have extras. Let me know if you need help with anything." Jacob said. Bella couldn't see him at all from his position in the store. If she could have she would have seen him glaring at me, his lips in a tight line. I had never seen him so serious before.

"Oh, I'm just going to get what I need and be on my-" Bella started but began to trip on something, her dress catching on the tip of her shoe. She fell forward onto her hands and knees, the things in her arms clattering to the floor. I automatically went to her. I knelt by her side and put my hand on her arm, trying to help her up. Her eyes were trained on the floor as she tried to catch her breath. "Thank you," she mumbled.

As she lifted her head and she realized who it was, her eyes went wide with fear.

She dashed up from the floor, leaving her future purchases on the floor. She headed straight to the exit. I quickly followed behind her. "Bella, wait." But she was already out the door. I turned to Jacob. "I'll be back in a bit."

"No, you won't." He shouted to my backside. I wasn't sure if he meant I wasn't returning or that I didn't have a job anymore. Either one at the moment didn't matter. The only thing that matter was Bella.

"Bella, wait! Stop! Please? I need to talk to you." I began as I followed her down the streets. The weather was really starting to get pretty bad. The sky seemed as if it were about the break, only the tiniest of water droplets escaping for now.

"I have nothing to say!" She shouted as she turned down an alley way. I had no idea where she thought she was going.

"We have to talk eventually." I sighed, picking up my pace.

"Not today though."

"Why not today?" I asked. She stopped, turning around to look at me. "Bella, why not today?"

"Because I just can't..." She said, her eyes looking sad.

"Why not?" I pleaded with her.

"I need to get the kids and-"

"They're with my mother. They're fine. Why the hell are you out in this weather anyway? You should be home, safe and sound." I mumbled.

Bella huffed at my response, turning quickly on her heel. "It's none of your damn business."

"It looks as if the world is about to end and you go out to get a pan? You never had a lick of sense sometimes." I shouted back at her.

"Sense? Sense! You're one to talk about sense, Jasper Whitlock!" She turned again, her hands on her hips this time as she practically growled out the words. At that moment then sky decided to open up, the rain falling in heavy sheets. I lifted my hands in the air, catching the rain to prove my point. Bella growled loudly, stomping her foot angrily. "Oh, you go to hell."

"That's very lady like." I smirked, simply staring at her. The rain had already soaked through her clothing and I'm sure my own as well. It didn't matter though.

Huffing again, she turned. A large crack of lightening hit not fifty feet away. She screamed, her hand going to her chest as she frozen in place in fear. This is when I decided to take over. I grabbed her by the arm and practically threw her into the nearest building, which just happen to be a shed or workshop of some sort. It was completely empty of people and slightly dark, the only light coming from one small window. I slammed the door behind us to make sure the rain didn't flood the place.

"Bella, we do need to talk."

"No, we don't." She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Which was probably a good thing considering I could see through her white blouse and thin white corset. It did little for my concentration and I actually wanted to think clearly at the moment.

"Dammit, you know we do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving. It was a horrible mistake. But, I had no choice." I began.

"You had a choice." She said in a child like anger that reminded me so much of us when we were younger.

"And, what choice was that?" I said, leaning against the far wall as I gazed at her.

"You could have chosen to keep your-" She began, pointing at my pants. I was utterly shocked that those words would even consider coming out of her mouth.

"Bella! You wanted to do that as well! You can't blame me for that." I said, almost hysterically.

"Oh, yes I can." She said stubbornly.

I couldn't help but laugh now. She was being ridiculous. "You enjoyed it."

"Did not." She protested. Her face was red and her eyes were downcast. I knew that look all too well.

I pushed myself off the wall and began to stalk towards her. "You are a poor liar."

"I'm not a liar," she said breathlessly as she backed against the work table. She placed her hands on it, almost as if she was bracing herself. Her skin was flushed and red, the water dripping down the side of her face from being soaked earlier.

"I could always tell when you were lying, Isabella." I said in a cool tone, closing the distance between us. "I want you to tell me the truth."

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, her large brown sparkling orbs locked onto mine.

I put my hands on either side of the table, locking her into place. My face was no more than inches away from hers. Her overpoweringly sweet scent assaulted my senses. "The truth. Tell me you enjoyed our time together."

Bella swallowed hard before she spoke. "Don't make me... please..." Her skin was positively purple with her embarrassment and I knew the answers for sure then. But, I still wanted to hear the words from her lips.

I leaned down and spoke in her ear softly. "Tell me, Bella."

Her head leaned back, exposing her flesh to me. It was so tempting to kiss her. To feel her flesh under my mouth. I wanted her but I had to hear her say it. "Jasper..." She whimpered, her eyes shutting slowly. She let out a ragged breath, the sweet scent of her spreading through my nose.

"Tell. Me." I demanded, my lips no more than an inch away from hers now.

Finally I received what I wanted for so long.

A kiss.

**First off... AHHHH don't kill me for leaving it there. It's worth the wait, I promise! **

**Also, I want to clear up something... I know now a days soldiers are respected pretty much no matter what. We're finally starting to figure out that it's the man, not the soldier, that controls the wars. It hasn't always been this way. Even in the past 50 years. Ask a Vietnam Vet how they were treated when they returned. It wasn't good. You've got to remember that the Confederates lost. They weren't heroes and most people blamed them for the hardships they were now in. Just thought I'd let you know. **

**Sooooo.... don't hate me lol Please. **


	19. Chapter 19

Her slender fingers wove into my hair, pulling me closer to her. I could taste the salt of the rain on her mouth, the sugar of her tongue overpowering it though. It was all so sweet. I pressed my body to hers, my hands going around her waist.

"Tell me..." I moaned into her mouth. "Tell me you loved our time together."

"Love..." She breathed before kissing me again, her lips molding to mine once more.

"Tell me you loved my kiss." I said, moving my mouth to her jaw, covering it with slow but heavy wet kisses. Her fingers tightened in my hair, pulling them downward to her sensitive and soft neck. She always loved her neck being kissed. She shivered under my mouth.

"Kiss me..."

I trailed my lips to her ear, sucking the tender lobe into my mouth. She hissed softly, her hips bucking forward against mine. I placed my hands under her firm bottom and hoisted her up onto the table. Her legs spread automatically, giving me room to press against her, her skirt moving up as our cloth covered hips pressed together. "I want you, Bella..." She groaned softly at my words, my hands trailing their way up her stomach. "Tell me you don't want me too, Bella."

"Jasper," she gasped my name as my hand gripped her breast, rubbing it gently through the moist material. My other hand began to work the buttons, wanting her free of the fabric so I could taste the supple flesh of her chest. I needed to hear her moan.

I had just pushed the cloth away and was moving my mouth to one of her breasts as I spoke again, cupping it gently before my tongue flicked over her nipple. "Tell me I'm the only one that makes you feel this way."

She gasped loudly as my lips moved around the puckered flesh, pulling it into my mouth with a hard bit of suction. But, instead of pulling me closer like before, she pushed me away hard. I stumbled backwards in surprise, practically falling back on my ass.

"We can't do this." Bella said, obviously flustered as she tried to button her shirt back.

"Why not?" I said in annoyance. "Why can't we do this?"

"Because I have a husband!" She said, rolling her eyes.

"But you were mine first!" I complained angrily. "He stole you from me."

"Jasper, he didn't steal me. He couldn't have. You lost me long before Edward married me." She growled as she hopped down from the work bench.

"I had to leave." I sighed. We had gone over this before. Too many times to count at this point. She was being irrational. She knew I had no choice in the matter. I never wanted to leave her if I didn't have to.

"You promised. You promised never to leave me."

"The war-"

"Yes! I realize! The war. War, war, war! It's not just that you left. It's how you left me. Alone, scared, and pregnant. I would have starved if it weren't for Carlisle and Esme. You could have at least married me before you left."

I turned away from her, unable to face her words. I rubbed my hand across the back of my neck, trying to think of the right words to say. "I wanted to do things right."

"And how we did things was right?" She answered back in an airy voice that could only be described as sad. It seemed almost too simple for the emotion. I felt like I needed more to describe it but couldn't think of anything.

"Of course not, no. I just-" I sighed and began again. "You deserved a big wedding. You deserved to be treated like a princess. I couldn't give that to you then. There wasn't enough time."

"I didn't want the big wedding, Jasper. I wanted you. I wanted your name. I wanted us, under our trees." She said, lightly touching my shoulder.

"I wanted to give you more." I whispered.

"I didn't need it though." She whispered right back, almost lovingly.

"It wasn't my intentions to-" I began to explain but she cut me off before I could even really start.

"Intentions or not, this is the way it is." She said as she moved towards the door. It was almost too painful to bear. Was this how she felt when I walked away from her?

"We still need to talk," I said, stating the obvious. This was going to hang in the air forever if we didn't do something.

"Why? Why do we need to do this? Why does it have to be so hard?" She sighed softly, her voice almost full of tears. It was crackly and full of emotion.

"I want to be a part of my son's life."

"And, how do you purpose we do that?" She said, running her hands over her face in frustration.

"I don't know! But, he should know who his father is." I said heavily. The word seem to come so easily, yet it was still so painful.

"He does." Bella said in a dangerously low tone. I knew it all too well. It was a warning. I wasn't in the mood to be given warnings.

"That man is not his father." I growled at her through gritted teeth.

"Don't start with me. Now is not the time for this."

I had had enough. I broke. I had no more resistance left in me. "Then when? When is the time? When will this be easier?" I shouted, flinging my hands up in the air angrily.

"It never will be!" She shouted back, mimicking my actions perfectly. We always had that same temper. We reacted so much the same at times. It was frustrating and almost like looking in a mirror.

"I want my girl! I want my son!" I screamed in frustration. It felt like a ton of bricks was on my chest, weighing me down. All my thoughts, all my emotions, everything I've been doing in the past weeks. It boiled down to those two sentences.

"Well, you're getting neither." She sneered.

"Five minutes ago-"

"Five minutes ago was a mistake. It won't be happening again." She mumbled as she made her way back towards the door. I grabbed her by the arm firmly and practically swung her up into my arms, her chest slamming against mine. Our faces were just an inch or so apart, our eyes locked on one another's.

"You enjoyed it." I breathed before kissing her again. She gave in only for a moment, her soft sweet lips molding to mine, before shoving herself away from me with her hands.

"Doesn't make it any less wrong." She said as she walked out on me, slamming the door with as much force as possible.

I shouted in frustration, kicking the work table as hard as possible.

Well, that couldn't have gone any worse if I had tried.

"Son of a bitch!" I sighed, picking something up. I'm not sure what, not that it matter, and threw it as hard as possible across the room. It clattered loudly as it crashed against the far right wall. The silence that lingered afterwards was deafening, even the sound of the rain doing nothing for it. I was far too lost in my own thoughts and I didn't want to be.

I needed a drink.

The rain hadn't left up in the least as I stomped my way to the tavern. When I opened, or rather, slammed, the door to the side all eyes rested on me. I scowled, trying to ignore them as I went to the bar. I pulled out a wad of cash and slammed it down on the bar, getting my brother in law's attention.

"Give me the whole damn bottle."

Emmett raised a wary eyebrow as he handed me a glass and a brand new unopened bottle of whiskey. "You know your money isn't good here."

"Take the goddamn money!" I shouted as I simply grabbed the bottle. I didn't need the glass. It was just a waste. It was better to cut out the middle man.

I kicked the chair at the corner table back and sat down heavily, flopping into place. I took a large swig after ripping out the cork, drinking a quarter of the bottle in one drag. I panted heavily as my throat burned pleasantly, getting her sugary sweet taste out of my mouth. My plan for the night was to get so drunk that I wouldn't be able to remember anything for days.

I had about half the bottle down when the tavern doors flung open again. My eyes automatically went to them, growing wide at the sight.

In the door way stood a very wet and very angry Doctor Edward Masen.

**Okay so she kind of cheated a little bit but she realized what she was doing was wrong and not only that, but she told the good doctor. And boy is he pissed off. **

**And don't worry, the talk will come. **

**Also, for the last time, I ain't telling you nothing! You have to see if it's cannon or not. Be patient. It's worth the wait. **

**So, who's ready for the next chapter?**


	20. Chapter 20

He was panting as if he ran the entire way here. His thick hair was so heavy with water that it looked almost blood red as it dripped down his forehead, sticking to his flesh. Rain soaked his heavily starched white shirt and gray vest, his deep gray pants were splattered with mud up to his knees. I could hardly see his eyes because of the rain droplets on his gold rimmed glasses but I knew they must have been livid.

Bella told him. That's the only explanation.

_Shit_.

How did he get here so quick? He must have been at the clinic.

_Shit_.

His eyes scanned the bar before settling on me. He stalked towards me, his hands balled up into tight angry fists. Once he was within ten feet of me he pointed one of those long fingers at me and spoke in an accent thicker than I had ever heard before.

"You and I need to have a word."

I felt like being an ass. It wasn't a far leap from the normal, but I wanted to make a special effort to piss him off. I could care less at this point about him. I placed my feet up on the table and took another drink from the deep brown glass bottle. "The only person I need to have words with is Bella."

"Do you think you can just come back here and claim her? She's not a piece of property." He said in a dangerously low tone. It was almost a growl.

"She sure enjoyed being claimed though." I grinned cockily at him. I watched as his face flushed with anger with a sense of pride. _Good_. He deserved it.

"That is my wife you're talking about."

"Well, your _wife_ really seem to enjoy it." I said in a challenging tone.

"You had her backed against a corner. She is scared and confused." He growled angrily. Like that changed a damn thing.

"She didn't seem too confused when she begged me to kiss her."

I had pressed too hard. I knew it and didn't care. I couldn't have cared less if I had tried. I did care though when he took my bottle and threw it against the wall, shattering it into a million little pieces.

"You touch her again and it'll be your head next." He threatened menacingly.

I stood up quickly, knocking my chair over in the process. "Oh really, pretty boy? What if she begs again? I was always taught to be in the service of a woman in _need_."

A second later his fist connected with the side of my face.

_Alright, perhaps I had deserved that. _

"Alright! That's enough!" I heard someone shout from behind me. Emmett had me by the waist and a man I didn't know had Edward, who was struggling to get another shot at me. At least the man seem strong enough to hold the doctor in place.

"Edward! Get the hell out of here!" He commanded angrily towards the man in front of me.

"Not until I break his nose." Edward hissed, still fighting against his bonds.

"God love ya, but if you don't leave now I'll get the sheriff. Go home to your wife and kids." Emmett said from behind me, speaking over my head as I weakly struggled. I didn't have much fight in me at the moment. It felt like I had liquid sloshing around in the pit of my stomach and I was dizzy.

"Why are you taking his side?" I demanded angrily.

"Because you're a drunken ass. Now get the hell up to your room before I have both of you thrown in jail and let you fight it out there." He said, flinging me with more force than I thought possible towards the stairs.

I fell to the floor, unable to really get my balance right off. When I finally did the wicked look, not from Emmett but my sister who was now glaring angrily from the bar, that sent me propelling towards my room.

I slammed the door behind me like an angry child, flopping back onto my bed with a heavy thud. My head was throbbing and my face was in a massive pain. My eye was twitching painfully and I was pretty sure I was bleeding. Something hot and sticky was on the side of my face, that's all I knew at the moment. I didn't bother to look. It didn't matter anyway.

"Shit..." I groaned, putting a heavy hand on my eyes. The light was killing them.

There was a light tapping on my door and I figured it wouldn't be Edward. He wouldn't have been so polite about attempting to kill me. So, I decided to ignore it. Anyone that was going to talk to me at this point would not be polite about it. Of course, they wouldn't go away and the tapping continued.

"Jasper? Are you alright?" Alice's sweet voice asked from behind the door. She sounded so concerned.

I had completely forgotten about Alice. A rush of guilt went through my system. I had apparently not drank enough because the emotions were still there. I sighed heavily knowing that I would not be able to fix that now.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said in hopes that it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity and make her go away.

I always seemed to be wrong.

"May I come in?"

The question echoed in the air for a long moment. I closed my eyes, still feeling guilty. I wished it would go away. I wasn't sure why I was feeling it anyway. I had nothing to feel guilty about. Or, at least, that's what I kept telling myself.

"I wouldn't recommend it." I said as kindly as possible.

"Please?"

She was too sweet. I knew she wanted to help. The guilt continued to build in my stomach, making it twist a little.

"Yeah, come in."

She popped her head in slowly at first as if she was afraid of what she might see. When her eyes settled on me she gasped loudly. Alice came in the rest of the way quickly and shut the door behind her, locking the door. "Oh, Jasper..."

"I guess you heard what happened then?" I said in a humorless laugh.

"I heard you got in a fight with Edward." She went over to the vanity in the corner of the room as she spoke. She poured some water from the pitcher into the plain white basin. I tried to follow her frantic movements but I was getting dizzy so I once again closed my eyes.

Perhaps I had drank enough.

"You could say that." I said, relishing the warm feeling behind my eyes.

I felt the bed shift beside me and I opened one eye when I felt something warm and wet on my cheek.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a sigh. It actually felt rather good, what she was doing.

"There is blood on your face. I think you have a cut on your cheek. You're going to have a nasty bruise in the morning." She mumbled or at least it sounded muffled to me, as she gentle and slowly swiped the soft cloth over my skin.

"I knew there was blood." I said smiling for some reason as I opened my eyes.

She smirked beautifully down at me. She placed a hand on my shoulder as she leaned over me closer to my ear, continuing to clean. Her mouth turned down in a small frown. "You're all wet."

It took me a moment to realize what she was saying. My clothing was still wet. I hadn't even noticed. "Rain," I stated simply.

She sighed heavily. "We should get you out of these clothes before you catch a cold."

"Hm?" I asked, thought it came out more in a moan.

"Take off your shirt, Jasper." I could practically hear the amusement in her slightly raised voice.

"Mm, alright." I said, trying to open my eyes. When had they shut again? When I finally did they rested on her chest which was hanging right over my face as she worked my flesh with the wet fabric.

I brought my hands to the buttons of my shirt but they seemed so small underneath my massive finger tips. I fumbled with the top button for what seemed hours. The cloth stopped moving over my cheek and I watched Alice's ample breast move up and down as she spoke.

"Here, let me do that. It'll take you forever."

More quickly than I could realize my shirt was being pushed off my shoulders. I couldn't help but notice the lustful look in her eyes as her tiny fingers traced over my abs and up my chest. At least I thought it was lust.

_She_ _wanted_ _me_, I thought to myself with a smile.

Well, I could give her that.

I reached my hand up and wrapped my fingers around the back of her neck. Leaning up as I pulled her down, our lips met in a soft kiss.

**By the way, you're going to hate me for the cliff hangers in this story. I had way too much fun with them. You should all be very happy that I update often. Very often. Other wise you guys would kill me. **

**I wanted to address something. Some have said that Jasper isn't a person you can sympathize with. That's right. He's not. Not yet anyway. He needs to under go a major change before that happens. A knock of sense. It's coming and the tides will change for him. Wait and see. **

**I want to thank everyone for the massive amounts of reviews the last chapter had. That was very awesome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. **

**Oh, and for those of you who don't understand why Bella told... well... If you love a person, and you've done something wrong, you don't hide it from them. Omitting information is still lying and if you truly love a person, it's not okay. I think that Bella telling Edward, and most likely begging for forgiveness, is a sign that she truly loves him. Just my thoughts on the matter. And yes, I realize that almost half of you don't like Bella. I get that. I don't think she's a slut though. Really, how many of you waited until marriage to have sex? Huh? Huh? Huh? Uh huh, that's what I thought. People did that too back then. **

**Also, if you want to know what's up with me and my stories. I am now on twitter. Same name. Come find me if you tweet. **

**OKAY now that my extra long an/s are over, what do you think Alice is going to do to our poor stupid drunken Jasper after that kiss?**


	21. Chapter 21

She softly moaned in surprise, her soft pink lips melting into mine. Her tiny warm fingers rested against my bare chest, curling and uncurling as the intensity of the kiss increased. It was almost as if she was trying to hold on, make it last longer. My fingers gripped the side of her neck tightly, holding her to me, while my other hand slid up her cloth cover stomach. More roughly than I probably should have, I gripped her breast, letting the pleasantly heavy weight rest against my palm as I began to knead it.

Alice gasped loudly and pushed away from me. "We can't do this." She was beyond flustered, her pretty face hot and pink.

"Why not?" I asked in annoyance at her stopping my movements. I was more than a little frustrated at this point and if something didn't happen soon I was going to explode. I couldn't handle any more starting and stopping. I could not handle anymore teasing.

"Because, you're drunk." She sighed in frustration, picking up the wet cloth again. She went back to scrubbing it across my cheek, still trying to remove the blood that I'm sure was caked on.

I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her down to me, her lips barely a breath away from mine as I spoke. "No, I'm not." I said in softest most silky tone I could produce. I could see her eyes soften as her lips parted slightly, her sweet breath flowing over my slightly moist flesh. My lips grazed against hers once, then twice, before pressing more fully against them.

She gave in again, letting our tongues tangle together. Alice was only the second woman I had ever kissed and there was quite the difference. Though, it wasn't unpleasantly so. I enjoyed it quite a bit actually.

Her lips weren't as soft as Bella's but they were more eager in their passion. Demanding almost. Her taste was different as well. I couldn't put my finger on it. Like fruit. Figs perhaps? Either way, she was delicious.

And, I wanted more of her. I had to have more of her. _Now._

My free hand went down to her bottom, gripping it hard. As I began to kneed her plush ass, I pushed her down on me, practically making her fall. Her hands rested on my shoulders, holding herself up slightly. She groaned loudly into my mouth, her fingers sliding up my neck and going into my hair as her kisses became more wild and unrelenting.

Finally she pulled away to gasp for breath but her lips didn't leave my flesh for long. They moved to my neck, covering it with quick and heavy kisses, her sweet scent filling my nose once again. "Oh, Jasper..." She hummed in pleasure. I was so lost in the feeling...

"Oh, Bella..." I moaned softly as her soft lips danced over my ear.

"Bella?"

"Oh, shit..." I groaned when I realized what I said. _Oh, I was so screwed. _

"Bella?!" She growled dangerously as she pulled away to look at me. I quickly removed my hands from her, figuring out that she probably didn't want them there at the moment.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." I sputtered stupidly, running one of my hands through my hair and pushing it out of my eyes. It was still slightly wet from the rain earlier. I was probably going to smell like wet dog if I didn't get a bath soon.

She got up from the bed, nearly hitting me in the face with the wash cloth as she threw it down from her angrily clinched fist. It landed with a wet sloppy noise beside my head. "Oh, I am sure you didn't..."

"Alice. Please. Wait." I said as I got off the bed, going after her. I put my hand on her shoulder but she flinched away like I burned her. "You've got to understand-"

"No, Jasper. I understand perfectly. I am not Bella. I get that. You will always love her. I just expect you to know who you are kissing." She hissed as she made her way to the door.

"I knew who I was kissing." I tried to defend myself, grabbing her again despite her reaction before. This time she didn't pull away from me but instead turned to face me. The angry gleam in her eye almost made me flinch away this time. She was hurt and furious. Not that I could blame her. I would probably be furious too.

"I was right before when I said we couldn't do this." She sighed as her eyes went down to the floor. I could tell she was trying not to cry. I felt like a gigantic ass. I had aspired to it earlier but that was with Edward. I didn't want to upset little Alice. Even though she acted so strong I knew she had to be fragile. She was a woman after all.

I put my hand on her cheek, running my thumb over her soft flesh. It burned underneath my palm for only a moment before she turned away, her eyes still trained on the floor. "We can try." I said in the same tone I used earlier, the one she seem to like so much.

"You're not ready."

"What am I not ready for?" I said with a heavy sigh.

"This." She waved her hand in between us. "Us. You're not ready."

"And, what are we, exactly?" I asked, getting very annoyed.

She shook her head quickly, her hand reaching for the knob. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"No, not never mind. And it does matter." I said, grabbing her arm a little too hard and turning her to face me.

"Jasper, I see us... I see us with a future together. But, you need to accept that Bella doesn't want you anymore. She's moved on. She loves you, yes. But, she also loves Edward and the life she has now. She will always care about you and she adores the child you made together, but you will never be her man again. You will never be her husband. You will never be her lover again. Accept it and move on. If you don't, you'll never be happy."

Only a couple words filtered to my brain. "She loves me?"

She rolled her eyes and threw her arms in the air. "Why do I even bother? Why don't you come to me when you aren't a drunken idiot?" Alice twisted the knob and was about to walk out, but I was tired of women walking out of me today. It had already happened one too many times. I was not about to have it happen again. So, I grabbed her elbow and whirled her around, pressing her against the door. I pressed my mouth forcefully against hers.

It took only a moment for the shock to wear off. To say she reacted violently was an understatement. Her knee came up with a surprising amount of force, finding a home in my crotch. I hissed in pain, bending over just in time for her to throw the door back and slam me in the shoulder. I cursed loudly, the throbbing in my arm and in my groin causing my eyes to cross.

It took a moment to realize that there was a pair of feet at my door. I looked up slowly, seeing first the cotton flowery fabric of the shirt and then the white blouse until finally I reached the irate face of my lovely blond sister. Her blue eyes were frosty with anger, her pink lips turned in a scowl. Both of her hands were balled up waist, her chest huffing up and down angrily. It seemed like a foreign idea to have someone so pretty that angry, but she did it so well. Annoyed was her natural state of being.

I opened my mouth to say something but I didn't get a chance to. A moment before I could gather my thoughts to speak her tiny fist connected with my nose. The force of the punch actually knocked me backwards, hitting my head hard on the ground. I tried to move. I tried to get up, but my eyes crossed again and I blinked in and out of focus. I knew what was about to happen a second before it did. I was going to black out. And most likely with the amount of liquor I had earlier in the evening, stay that way.

The last thing I heard before I passed out was, "you will never fight in my bar again."

**Omg, Jasper's an ass. You can see the good guy underneath though. And sometimes you need a little nudge, punch, smack upside the head to figure out what you're doing wrong. **

**So, I was suppose to take Vivian to get her vaccines today, but I woke up this morning completely sick. Now, I'm going to crawl into bed and pray that I don't get anyone else sick. Well, after I post my other stuff as well. **

**Oh, by the way, I'm on twitter now! Jayeliwood. Come tweet me. **

**So, do you think this is the jolt of reality Jasper needs to figure out he's going about this the wrong way or will it take more?**


	22. Chapter 22

"Oh, shit..." I groaned loudly when I finally came to in the morning. My head was throbbing with the lovely pain of a hangover. My entire face hurt. My eyes stung from the light. My shoulder hurt. It took me a moment to remember what happened the day before.

I kissed Bella. She walked out of me. She told Edward. Edward punched the hell out of me. I got sent off to my room like a naughty child. Alice came to comfort me. I kissed her. I called her Bella. I acted like a complete jerk, she kneed me. Then hit me with the door as she stomped out. Then my sister punched me.

_Shit. _

Talk about your bad days.

_Shit._ I was screwed. How was I going to get myself out of this mess? Oh, that's right. I couldn't because this mess was my life. The last time I tried to get myself out of that _mess_ I screwed that up as well.

"Dammit." I hissed as I lifted myself off the hard wooden floor. I smelled horrible. Like smoke, mold, and liquor. It was not a pleasant combination. I actually made myself gag a little. Also, it was light outside and I knew I was late for work.

If I still even had a job that was after I ran out of there after Bella.

I went over to the mirror and groaned at what I saw. I had a huge black eye and probably a broken nose to go along with the pain. Almost the entire left side of my face was black, blue, purple, green, and yellow... Perhaps it would be easier to say that it was every color except the one it should have been. There was a huge gash across my cheek and blood smeared across most of my face. There was also a huge knot on my shoulder from where the door hit me, along with a bruise the size of a melon.

I looked like hell.

I needed a bath but I needed to try to save my job. So, I quickly washed up and poured on some cologne. It did nothing for me. I put on fresh clothes and brushed my hair quickly. I looked into the mirror again.

I looked worse than hell. I looked like shit. Complete and total shit.

_I had messed everything up. _

_I needed another drink_, I thought as I gave one final glance into the mirror.

I sighed heavily and made my way downstairs. I was trying to sneak out but, I knew as soon as I took the last step that I wasn't going to be able to. Alice was behind the bar, looking extremely upset. Her lips were pursed slightly with her eyes downcast. Her thin arms were crossed over her ample chest as she kicked something around the floor with her foot. Invisible dirt from the looks of it. She was trying her best not to look at me.

As much as I needed my job, I needed to make things right with Alice. I could find another job eventually. I don't think I could find another Alice. She understood me somehow. And, I did like her, even if I didn't love her. I cared for her. I had to do something to make it right again.

So, I walked up to the bar and sat down in front of her. She didn't even look up as the stool creaked loudly, groaning at my weight.

"Good morning," I said in a soft tone, looking up at her from underneath my eyelashes. I knew she saw me by the change in her lips. She sucked the bottom one into her mouth, biting it gently. It was very adorable and I knew she wanted to talk to me. Or, at least I hoped she did. I decided to try to make some sort of conversation. "How are you?"

"Fine." She answered shortly. Perhaps she didn't want to talk to me after all. But, I had to keep trying.

Well, that didn't leave me much of any place to go. I cleared my throat and started again. "Well, that's good. I've felt better." I joked. She looked up and her eyes flashed at me. I could tell she did not like my humor. I cleared my throat again nervously and looked down, clasping my hands on the bar top.

I was not use to talking to women anymore. I was a soldier. I fought. I survived. I wasn't sure what to do with her. I didn't know how to handle anyone anymore, honestly. I tried to come up with something to say, but it didn't seem to work. Thankfully, she said something.

"Do you want some breakfast?" She asked tersely.

"Yes, please." I smiled. Well, this was a start. At least she was talking to me, at least a little bit. It was better than nothing.

"What do you want?" She asked, her arms still crossed over her chest.

"Anything is fine with me."

And that was my first major mistake of the morning.

She headed into the kitchen, not saying another word to me. She came back only a moment later, like she had it already made for me. Like Alice had prepared this especially for me.

Alice practically threw the tin plate down in front of me, it making a heavy clinking noise and splattering some of the food on the counter. The bacon was burnt black and cold as ice. The grits were... solid. There was no other way to describe it. And finally the apple that was sliced up on the plate was brown, like it had been out for days.

Next she clunked down a mug full of coffee. Or, rather, black sludge. I grimaced at the horrible smell. Alright, well, I guess it wasn't a start. She was still very angry at me.

"Alice, I am very-" I began to apologize but she cut me off with a very obvious fake smile.

"Eat up."

"I'm not hungry." I lied, pushing the plate away with a small innocent smile. She saw right through me, of course.

"Eat. Up." She said in a low voice. It was amazing that someone so tiny could sound so scary.

"Uh, the hangover I have, um..." I trailed off lamely. Before I could even finish my stupid excuse she snatched the plate up and dumped the entire thing in the trash pail. Plate and all.

"Have a great day at work." She said shortly.

"Alice, honey, I'm really sorry about last-"

"I said-" She started but I put my hands up quickly, stopping her before she could go any farther.

"I heard ya. Jesus, I heard ya." I sighed as I stood up from the stool, running my hand through my hair. "Honey, I really am sorry."

She turned away from me, her eyes downcast. She almost looked as if she was about to cry. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I know, Jasper."

"Then forgive me." I pleaded.

She began to walk towards the kitchen. "Forgiving is easier than forgetting." And with that, she walked into the other room and away from me.

Women were sure getting good at doing that to me lately.

"Dammit," I muttered as I walked out of the tavern. Then I heard the church bell chime the hour. Ten o'clock. "Dammit!" I shouted as I began to run through the muddy streets. I was so late.

I made a fifteen minute walk in five minutes. I came skidding into the door, out of breath and panting. The bell twinkled annoyingly above my head. I wanted to snatch it down and throw it into the streets, but I controlled myself.

"You're late." Jacob shouted from the back, sounding far too amused for his own good.

"Only if I still have a job can I be late." I pointed out loudly.

"You do and you are." He said as he walked into the door way, leaning against it with a small smile on his face. Did he always have be so damn jovial?

I pulled a coin from my pocket and threw it into the till before going over to a barrel of produce. "I'm buying an apple."

He smiled slightly, his dark lips pursed as he wiped his hands on a dirty looking towel. "I'd figure a person as late as you would have time for breakfast."

"Hmph," I muttered as I took a big bite of the slightly tart green apple. My stomach protested at the thought of the food, especially after the memory of that 'breakfast' this morning, but I needed to eat something. "Lets just say I think I was late for that as well."

"I take it you had a goodnight all around then." Jacob laughed as he headed back towards the storage room.

I wanted to throw the apple right at the back of his head. But, that would have been a waste of apple. So, instead I answered sarcastically. "Perfect."

I heard the bell at the door twinkle again, signaling another customer. I sighed as I saw who entered.

"Perfect," I moaned in frustration.

**Yeah, hate the cliffies but you'll like the result. **

**Alice made me laugh in this chapter, in the beginning anyway. **

**So, who's at the door?**


	23. Chapter 23

My mother came in, well dressed and perfectly groomed. Her long caramel colored hair was braided and twisted at the back of her neck, held into place with a silver comb. The frothy white spring dress she wore swished loudly around her as she walked towards me purposely. She was the vision of the perfect proper woman. Her pretty icy blue eyes were trained on me, reminding me quite a bit of Rosalie. She was angry. Very angry.

If my headache wasn't bad enough already...

"Good morning, Mother." I tried to say pleasantly. She all but scowled.

"Hush it." She said, picking up her step towards me. Jacob chose that moment to come in. He looked between us, a knowing look on his face. I wanted to smack that smirk right off of his tanned face. He was going to be no help at all. I could tell already.

"Well, it's a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Cullen." Jacob said, taking her hand and lightly kissing it.

My mother smiled politely at Jacob, nodding her head and casting her eyes downward. "It is wonderful to see you as well. But, I came to speak to my son, if that is alright? I wouldn't want to keep him from work, if he's busy."

" No, no... we're not busy. Of course it is alright. Why don't you use the back to chat and I'll watch the front?" He offered.

"Thanks," I muttered. This was my punishment for being late. My mother nodded towards the back, her expression turning angry once again. I felt like a child that was about to be punished. I marched, like a ten year old, towards the back room, my mother trailing behind.

"Jasper Whitlock! Are you out of your mind?" She started with as I turned to face her once we were out of sight of Jacob.

"That is debatable, Mother. But, for what exact reason would I be considered to be 'out of my mind' this time?"

"Don't you dare take that attitude with me, boy! I am not opposed to taking you over my knee right now." She threatened dangerously. I actually wouldn't put it past her. By the look on her face she was just that mad. "I heard what happened with Edward last night."

"Ah," I answered dumbly. "What exactly did you hear?"

"What were you thinking, Jasper? Making an advance towards Bella! You know better than that. I'm surprised he didn't beat you senseless. Though, by your actions lately, it won't take very long!"

It surprised me how harsh her words were. She was never one to hold back her feelings, but this was extreme, even for her.

I stuck out my bottom lip, my face slightly red with embarrassment at being chastised by my mother with my boss not ten feet away. He was probably snickering his ass off. Jovial Bastard. I knew I was pouting at the moment, but I didn't care.

"Jasper, where are your manners? I taught you better than this!" I taught you to be a gentlemen." She continued, her gloved hands on her hips.

"Perhaps I forgot some of my teachings during the war." I muttered sarcastically.

"You can't use that as an excuse for everything, young man. You may think it is, but it's not." My mother said in a low growl, the words coming out in a rush. It was amazing how such a tiny woman could be scary sometimes.

"It's not an excuse, it's-" I began to explain.

She interrupted me before I could get another breath in. "No, Jasper. It's not a reason. It's an excuse. You will apologize to your sister, Alice, and Bella before your rude and horrid behavior. I am so embarrassed."

"I've already tried to apologize to Al- Wait. Who told you about all this?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. How did she know about Alice? I could figure out how she knew about Bella and Rosalie. But not Alice.

"I have spoken to both Bella and Rose this morning."

"Yes, but how did you know about Alice?" I stopped when I realized what she said. "You talked to Bella? What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter what she said. And, Alice is practically family. Rose and she talk often. They're practically sisters. Did you think they wouldn't speak about this? Rosalie spent half the night comforting the poor dear." She placed a tiny hand on her forehead, clearly done with the whole thing. "Jasper, Jasper, Jasper... Boy, you messed up. Badly."

I sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall as I spoke. I placed a hand on my forehead, my face and head still thumping with pain. The light actually hurt at this point. I finally looked up at my waiting mother. "I know. Trust me, I know."

She walked towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You have to make this right."

"How though? How do I make it right, Mother?" I asked, practically pleading with her. I needed some sort of help. I needed some sort of advice to get through this. Though, I doubted anyone knew how to get through this. No one had been through this before. No one could. No one could understand.

"First, stop using the war as an excuse for your behavior. You are acting like a heathen. Remember your manners. Act like the gentlemen I know you are. You are so..._ hateful _now. What happened to you? What made you this way?" My mother asked, running a gentle hand over my battered cheek.

"Mother... I..." I trailed off softly, not knowing where to begin. This was not the time or the place for those stories. I don't think it ever would be.

"I know you're not ready. But please, you're making your life harder for yourself." She said, brushing invisible dirt away from my skin. "Stop. Stop now before you ruin what you have here."

"And, what do I have here?" I asked, pulling away from her. It's almost as if her words stung, burning me to the core.

"A family that loves you. Friends that-"

"Friends? What friends?" I asked with a humorless laugh.

"Stop! This is what I mean! Jacob, Emmett, Alice... they are your friends. Alice may be more something more some day if you stop acting like a..." she lowered her voice so that Jacob couldn't hear her. Always trying to be the lady. "Jackass. She likes you very much. For some odd reason! Lord knows why right now. She is a good woman. You'd be a good match if you'd act like a human being."

"Bella is my match." I whispered, feeling sadness build in my chest.

"No. She's Edward's. Keep pushing and she'll never be your friend again. You will not alienated the mother of my grandson." She ordered, pointing a finger at me.

"How about alienating the father of your grandson?" I asked defensively. "Your son?"

"You alienate yourself."

"Jesus, mother-"

"You will not take the Lord's name in vain! Now, just stop. I better hear from all three of those women that you apologized by the end of this week or I WILL take a belt to you. That may be the only thing that gets through to you at this point."

"But, that's two day!" I cried. "How am I suppose to make this better in two days?"

She turned and began to walk towards the door. " I don't know. So, you better get on that."

I followed her towards the main room again. Jacob leaned against the counter, a chin resting on the palm of his hand. He pursed his lips slightly when he saw us coming. It was obvious he was trying to keep from laughing.

"It was lovely to see you again, Mr. Black." She said politely.

"Please, Mrs. Cullen. Call me Jacob. It is always a pleasure. If you ever need anything, just let me know." He answered before she left. He turned his wicked smile towards me. "I like your mother."

"Shut up." I muttered as I went to get an apron. I needed to keep my hands busy. Otherwise, I was going to punch him. And knowing my luck, he would punch back. Just what I needed was another bruise.

"It's obvious that you didn't get your charm from her." He laughed.

"Shut up," I all but whined. It only made him laugh harder.

"You're taking tomorrow off." He said through his laughter.

"What? Why?!" I nearly shouted.

"I'm not going to be your excuse for not apologizing to those lovely ladies. Besides, I'm on the good side of your mother. I'd like to continue to stay there. So, you're taking tomorrow off to go say your sorries." He said as he tried to sober up.

"I dislike you..." I said under my breath, grabbing a broom.

He grabbed his dirty rag and began to walk towards the storage room again. "Yes, I know. But, someday you will thank me for this."

**Most of you were right about who it was! Yay! Smart readers. And is it bad that my two favorite characters in this story is Esme and Jacob? **

**Just a reminder... you can follow me on twitter now! If I get enough followers, I may do some previews. We'll see...**

**So, what will Jasper have to do now?**


	24. Chapter 24

I laid in bed that night thinking about some of the things my mother said. That I should act like the gentlemen she knew I was. I remembered one of the last time I was really a 'gentlemen' as I drifted off to sleep. The memory filtered into my dreams...

_It was the first event we attended since Bella became my parent's ward. We hadn't come out about our feelings for one another to them since we were living together. Bella still owned her father's home, but she was too young to care for herself. Or, at least it would have been looked down upon. I knew she could have done just fine, if she wished to. _

_It wouldn't exactly would have been proper for Bella and I to dance the entire night away. Not that I would have cared. But, Bella always cared more about my position than I did. So, I had to dance with other girls. Most were friends of some sort. But, there was a new girl attending this party. A girl I had never met before. _

_My mother wondered over with the young lady on her arm. She was a beautiful thing. Curly red hair, freckles, big brown eyes shaded by long thick blond lashes. Her smile was warm and inviting. She'd make some man very happy some day. _

"_Jasper, darling, I'd like you to meet someone." My mother gushed happily. "This is Miss Victoria Bennett. She is visiting her aunt from Dallas." _

_I took the redhead's hand, kissing it lightly. She smiled, blushing slightly at the act. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Bennett."_

"_Please, call me Vicki. Everyone does." She said in a honey sweet voice. _

"_Oh!" My mother said as the band began to play. "I adore this song. I think I will find Carlisle to dance." She gave me a not so subtle look. I sighed, rolling my eyes. I knew what I had to do now._

"_I do believe my mother wishes us to dance." I said to the young girl who giggled sweetly. I found it all a bit tiring and had to keep myself from rolling my eyes again at her actions. "Would you do me the honor?" I asked, offering her my hand. I chanced a glance towards Bella who was standing with a group of her friends, chatting away. She gave me a small smile, her brown eyes glittering prettily in the candle lit room. I sighed, wishing I was dancing with her instead. _

"_I would be honored, sir." The girl said, taking my offered hand. _

_The song was a waltz, full of spinning. It was fun enough. The girl was a good dancer. But, it was not the same. So, I kept on my smile and spoke to the girl as we glided through the room. When it was all done I was going to sneak away, find Bella, but Victoria stopped me before I could. _

"_Mr. Whitlock, would you join me for a walk?" She asked sweetly. I would have said no right off if my mother was not two feet away. I was stuck. I knew my mother was simply trying to make a match for me. I wished I could tell her it was unneeded. I had found the girl I was going to marry. _

"_Please, call me Jasper. And, I would be delighted." I lied. _

_We walked quietly out to the garden where several other people and couples were wondering. I honestly didn't have much to say to her. I didn't know her and I had little desire to get to know her. But, I had to be polite and make conversation. _

"_So, is there any particular reason you're visiting our humble town?" I began with. I figured it was a safe topic. _

"_To find a husband."_

_Her bluntness surprised me, to say the least. "Really?" I asked in a shocked tone before I could stop myself. _

"_Yes. I wish to find a man. A real man. Who works hard and comes from a decent family..." She began listing off qualities. I had to put an end to this before it went too far. _

"_May I stop you?" I asked quietly, stopping our walk. I turned to face her, looking her directly in the eyes. "You are a lovely woman, but I already..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish exactly. _

"_I see," she whispered softly, her eyes sad. _

_I felt horribly guilty. I felt like I led her on, even if it was only for a very short while. Then I had a thought come to mind, a way to make this right. "I have a cousin... a professional gamesmen. One of the best trackers west of the Mississippi..." I trailed off suggestively. _

"_Oh?" She asked, lifting her head. "Is that so?"_

_I nodded my head, smirking. It was easy to catch this girls interests. I was glad that I didn't have to worry about being in her grasp. "By the name of James. Good man."_

"_Does he happen to be in attendance tonight?" Vicki asked hopefully. _

"_I do believe so. If you ask my mother I am sure she would be more than happy to introduce you." I said, smirking fully now. A little payback for trying to set me up earlier. I knew it would annoy my mother to no end. _

_The young woman grinned brightly before surprising me. She lunged forward and kissed me firmly on the cheek before dancing off towards the dance hall again. I had to laugh. It was adorable, in a way, if not a bit dangerous, but I couldn't linger on the thought too long. I needed to find my Bella. _

_First I searched the ballroom for her but she wasn't there. Next I searched the garden but I still saw no signs of her. I knew there was only one place she'd be now on a lovely night such as this. She always went to the same place when she wanted to be alone. _

_I made my way towards the orchard, enjoying the summer breeze and the fact that I was about to spend several minutes alone with my beautiful Bella. The night had been killing me without her. All I wanted to do was have her in my arms. I never wanted to let her go._

_I heard her before I saw her. Her loud sniffled cries echoed through the trees. I would know that cry anywhere._

"_Bella? Honey? What's wrong?" I asked, touching her arm when she came into sight. She stood under a large pecan tree, her body leaning against the trunk for support. _

_She pulled away from me like I had burned her flesh. "Go away."_

"_What's the matter?" I sighed. I always hated her tears. I always felt useless when she cried. I knew she simply had to cry them out. _

"_Nothing," she lied poorly, her arms crossed over her chest as if she was trying to hold her heart in her chest. _

"_Please. I can't make it right if you don't tell me." _

"_Why don't you go back to that pretty little tramp! Go have some fun!" She said in a defensive and angry tone._

"_Isabella!" I laughed in surprise. It was always odd to see her jealous. It didn't happen often. "Why would you say that?"_

"_You know why." Bella pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. She was always so cute when she pouted. I just wanted to kiss her when she did, though that would have simply made her madder. _

"_No, I don't. Now, tell me where this is coming from?" I said, still slightly amused. _

_She lowered her head, her eyes filling with tears. "I saw the kiss."_

"_Ah." I breathed_

"_Ah?" That's it? That's all you have to say?" Bella demanded, turning her angry eyes towards me. I could see them glowing even in the moonlight. They were so much more beautiful than the ones of the girl I danced with earlier. _

"_Bella, she kissed me. I did not ask her to. You know the only girl I want to kiss is you." I said soothingly as I turned her towards me more completely. Tears were still flowing down her cheeks when I leaned down to kiss her softly. _

"_I know." She said in a breathy sigh. "I just hate seeing you with other girls. You're mine."_

"_I know, but none of them matter. Only you, Bella. Only you matter." I replied as I pulled her back for another kiss. Our lips melded sweetly together, her fingers going into my hair and holding me close. _

_After a few moments of rather intense kissing she pulled away and laid her head on my chest, breathing deeply. I was still a bit dazed from her kisses when Bella finally spoke again. "I'm moving back to my father's."_

"_What?" I asked, pulling away to look at her face. She was deadly serious. _

"_Our courtship, we need to make it known. It'll be easier if I am no longer your parent's ward. Jasper, I can't stand you with other women. The thought makes my blood boil."_

"_Bella, your father just died... We can-" I started with the same speech I had made a half a dozen times since the spring. We didn't have to rush things. We had the time. _

"_No, I can't. Jasper, I just can't. I'm moving and that's final." She replied stubbornly. I knew there was no changing her mind once she got to this point. It was one of the things I loved and hated about her. _

Bella moved back a week later. I hated not having her a room away but I figured it would lead to us sharing a bed sooner. So, we came out of as a couple at my cousin's wedding a couple months later. No one was really that surprised by it. I had figured in a year's time it would be our turn to wed. I was wrong. _So very wrong. _

**So, another little flash back to see a little bit of Jasper and Bella's life together before the war. It gives you more insight, I think. And no, James and Victoria won't be coming back in. They're just names. **

**Sigh, I miss sweet Jasper, don't you?**


	25. Chapter 25

I woke up with a splitting headache, even though I had not drank the night before. My face still hurt but it was trying to figure out what to do that was causing me the real pain and discomfort. Apologizing was easier said than done for me.

I took a real bath, knowing that I wouldn't accomplish anything smelling the way I did right at this moment. No one would even want to be around me. I dressed in a set of clean clothes and even put on the tiny bit of musk my mother had given me a week or so ago. What I was determined to do exactly but doing all this I wasn't entirely sure, but I wanted to accomplish something today. This was a start.

Alice was no where in sight as I made my way down the steps to the tavern. Instead, for once, Emmett was behind the bar, keeping himself busy. When he finally saw me he smirked slightly.

"Good morning," I mumbled as I sat down. He automatically handed me a cup of coffee without saying a word. I was so happy that it wasn't sludge. I took a deep sip, letting the heat run down my throat.

"Morning," he replied, smirking at me still.

"Is Rose or Alice around?" I asked nervously. I might as well get this over with.

"What? Your face doesn't hurt enough already?" He laughed heartily, a goofy smile on his face.

"You're not mad at me?" I asked cautiously, raising an eyebrow at his humor filled eyes and boisterous laugh. It was not the reaction I was expecting from him. I would have thought he would have at least been upset at me for making his wife mad.

"No. Men start fights in my tavern for stupider reasons. I get it. I get why you act the way you do. I really do."

"What do you 'get' exactly?"

"You left, but you expected her to wait. She didn't. Not only that but you have a kid. I'd be cranky, too. Not that Rosalie understands. She still wants to kill you." He explained simply. I wondered how he looked at things in such an easy way. Was that the key to his happiness?

"Where is she, by the way?" I asked again, ringing my hands together. I never had the best relationship with my sister, but I didn't want her to hate me, especially over this.

"In the office. The door closest to the kitchen on the right." I stood up slowly. He placed a hand on my shoulder, looking very solemn. "Good luck."

"Thank you. I'm going to need it." I muttered before beginning to walk away. Then I remembered something else I needed to ask him. "Oh, where is Alice?"

"It's her day off." He shrugged.

"Thanks," I sighed, grateful that I wouldn't have to face her too soon. I wondered if I'd be able to find her apartment though. I also wondered if she'd even be there if I did go.

"I'm not cleaning up any more of your blood!" He said laughingly to my back as I walked towards my angry and rather violent sister. "So, play nice."

"I'll try," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm not the one you need to worry about though."

I knocked on the door lightly, trying to get some courage up. I still had no idea what I was going to say to her. This was going to be so hard.

"Come in," She said softly, her voice distant, like she was distracted by something.

I peeked my head in, seeing Rose behind a large oak desk, a pair of dark rimmed glasses perched on her tiny button nose. She appeared to be doing the books. I didn't even know she knew how to do that. I wondered who taught her.

"I didn't know you wore glasses," I said to grab her attention.

She looked up slowly and sighed heavily, removing the frames from her face and placing them on the desk. She rubbed both hands over her eyes before speaking. "A lot has changed in the past few years, Jasper."

"I realize that." I mumbled quietly.

"What do you want?" She asked rather coldly, her arms folded over the desk.

"I want to apologize for-"

"For being an idiot? For disrespecting my bar by fighting in it? For making my best friend cry? What exactly are you apologizing for because it could be a few different things!"

"All of the above..." I sighed, closing the door behind me as I stepped inside. I had a feeling this was going to take a few minutes. Years of issues were not going to be solved in two minutes time.

"What were you thinking?!" She asked in a harsh tone, chastising me.

"I wasn't."

"Well, that much is obvious." She said tersely, a frown on her full pink lips.

"Hey! I'm trying to say I'm sorry here! You're not making this easier!"

"And, why exactly should I make this easier for you?" Rosalie asked in a cruel and dangerously low tone.

I sighed heavily, trying to come up with a good reason. "Because, you're my sister and you love me."

She rolled her eyes at my weak response."I may be your sister, and yes, I love you, but that doesn't mean I have to like you."

"I realize that." I admitted, looking down at my feet. "I know I'm not the same man I was before. I never will be again. But, I don't want to stay like this. I want to change. I want to be better."

"And, how do you plan on doing that?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk. She didn't believe me and was just toying with me. Or, at least that's what it felt like to me.

"By apologizing to everyone."

"Even Edward?"

I was too shocked to speak for a moment. I shook my head quickly, shaking away the fog of anger that his name invoked in me. "No, why would I apologize to him?"

"You don't get it, do you?" The wicked hiss of her tone surprised me.

"Get what?" I asked, my patience running low already. Mentioning Edward had a way of doing that to me, I noticed.

"By acting this way towards Edward you hurt Bella. You don't want that. Or, at least I wouldn't think so. You seem to want her back so." She said teasingly.

"Of course I want her back." I rolled my eyes at her dramatic display. Always the actress.

"Why exactly?"

_Well, I hadn't expected that question._ "What?"

"Why do you want her back?" She said in a heavy sigh, like I was being stupid. I hated how she spoke me as if I were a child.

"Because..." I trailed off, trying to find a way to describe it to her.

"Because, why?" She demanded firmly.

"I... I..." I stuttered stupidly. "I love her."

"Do you?" Do you even know her?"

"Of course I do!" I threw my hands in the air, becoming fed up with the route of this conversation.

Rosalie laughed without humor, her big blue eyes boring into me. "A lot has changed in the past few years, Jasper." She repeated from earlier in the conversation.

"I realize that." I mumbled dejectedly once again.

"She's not the stupid little girl you left behind."

"Why? Why are you even saying this? You don't even like Bella!" I pointed out angrily.

"That doesn't mean I want to watch you destroy yourself and her. She has a life now, Jasper. She has happiness. And believe it or not, I do happen to like Edward."

"But, I'm your brother!"

"No, you're not. You look like him. But, you're not. I wish you were." She said quietly, sadly. I hated the emotion in her voice._ Disappointment._

"I'm trying." I whispered. "I want to be again. I do, Rosalie."

"But, you will never know that person again. You will never have that life again. No matter how hard you try." She stood from the desk and began to walk towards me. She placed a gentle hand on my cheek, letting a silence grow between us. I put my hand over hers, feeling her soft skin. "I miss him and I always will. I hope someday you are a person I can care for again though."

"I hope so, too." I closed my eyes as she pulled away, not knowing what else to say.

"That being said, make Alice cry again and I will cut off your balls and throw them in my fireplace."

My eyes went wide with her words, surprised with the harshness that came from her lips. "Excuse me?"

"I love Alice. She likes you for some damn reason, lord knows why. And if you ever make her cry like she did the other night again I will take your manhood and mount in onto my wall. She's already gone through hell in her life. She deserves only the best."

I felt shame course through me. I couldn't respond to that, to her words. I simply nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm going to apologize to her again."

"Good," was all she said.

I licked my lips before speaking again, stalling before I had to get the words out. "My behavior since I arrived has been unacceptable. It will not happen again but I would understand if you'd like me to live elsewhere."

She picked her glasses up again, placing them back on her nose and pushing them up to her eyes. "If it happens again, you will."

"I understand totally."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go to the bank." She answered me, picking up a thick yellow envelope. "Good Luck." Rosalie said to my back as I began to walk out, her voice soft.

"With what?"

"With the apologizing. I know it's not easy for you. Because, it's not easy for me. It's the one thing we have in common." She smiled a bit, and walked towards me again so that she could leave as well.

I opened the door and began to walk out. "No. No, it's not."

**So, we got some things out in the air. Some ideas, some thoughts. Some things Jasper needs to think about. Now, who do you think he's talking to next?**


	26. Chapter 26

I had a choice to make. I could see Alice first or I could see Bella. If I saw Alice first and Bella second I ran a bigger risk of seeing Edward as well.

No matter what Rosalie said, I was not ready to apologize to Edward. That was one thing I would never do.

I didn't want to be that good of a person.

_So, Bella it is. _

I began the walk towards her cabin, making my way through the trees and underbrush. I went slow, trying to build up my courage for this event. I had no idea what I was going to say anyway. No matter what I said, this conversation was going to be hard. The hardest conversation of my life.

I had to admit I was wrong. I was going to let her go. And, I had to admit that she was no longer mine.

I stood at the door for several minutes. I could hear happy squealing and laughter behind it. Bella was playing with my son and her daughter apparently. She sounded so happy. I sighed, knowing I would take that away once again. I was good at that lately.

I knocked on the door quietly and the noise automatically stopped. A moment later I heard another squeal of childish happiness. "I'll get it!" The boy shouted, the sound of his feet pounding against the wooden floor making it's way through the door.

"Calm down or you'll scare whoever is there!" Bella's laughter echoed behind the door. A second later it opened and a tiny head peaked out. A large smile appeared on his face before he turned, leaving the door wide open so I could follow, and went back inside.

"We have company!" He said excitedly. At least someone was excited to see me.

"Who is it?" Bella asked sweetly, smiling, but then she saw me. She was sitting on the floor with her daughter, her legs spread in front of her, the skirt of her dress flared around her, her bare feet exposed. The smile I saw for the briefest second disappeared and was replaced by fear. "What are you doing here?"

She all but jumped to her feet. I could tell the look on her face. She was on the defensive. Bella was so angry, her face was flushed with it.

"Do you hate me so much now?" I asked as I realized the emotion on her face. As soon as the words left my lips, her face softened.

"I don't..."

I sighed, running my fingers over my face slowly. "You were always such a bad liar."

"I couldn't hate you. But, it doesn't mean I don't hate... _this_." She trailed off, not knowing how to finish.

_Neither did I though. _

"I hate it, too. That's why I'm here. I want to make it better."

"You can make it better by simply leaving." She said, her tiny little nose in the air. So haughty sometimes.

"That'll improve nothing." I told her truthfully. I knew she didn't want to hear it but it need to be said.

"Edward will kill you if he knows you're here." She said, picking up the tiny girl in her arms. I could tell she was trying not to look at me, as if looking at me would make things harder for her to say. She laid the child down in a small pen before turning to our son. "Play in your room."

"But, mommy!" He began to protest but Bella cut him off quickly before it could go too far.

"No, buts! Go!" She said firmly, turning towards him with crossed arms. He huffed loudly and stomped away towards the door to the back. Bella sighed, shaking her head. "Just as stubborn and hard headed as you." She muttered under her breath. I couldn't help but smile.

"I was thinking the same exact thing." I laughed. It almost sounded manic, even to my own ears.

Bella smirked, walking towards me again with her arms still crossed over her chest. "Jasper, you should leave."

"Not until we talk." I said in that same stubborn voice my son just used.

"There is nothing-"

"Then you listen, I'll talk." I said firmly, looking deep into her chocolate brown eyes. Before she could say anything against me I began to speak. "I need to apologize for yesterday."

"What?"

I bit back the urge to say something sarcastic. Instead I took a breath, calming myself down. Was it so surprising? I shook my head, clearing my thoughts before I began again. "I disrespected you with my actions. You did not deserve to be treated that way. For that, I apologize."

She sighed heavily, "Jasper-"

"Bella, please. You have to understand how hard this is for me." I said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"I know," she nodded her head slowly. She did know. This was just as hard for her.

"I messed up so badly. I've lost who I am. I want to get that back. At least part of it."

"But you can't-"

"I can't get it back with you. I know that." I interrupted. She had to understand my purpose.

She looked shocked and surprised by my words. I wasn't sure she believe me or not. I was almost positive she didn't. I really couldn't blame her for that.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you should know. You aren't- I'm- not what I was before. I never will be again. No matter how hard I want to change, how I want to be normal again, I never will be." I confessed, feeling the words hit home, hard.

"But... just a couple of days ago... you... How do I know? How can I believe you?" She demanded, her arms dropping to her sides. "What changed?"

"I finally realized that you don't love me."

"Jasper, it's not that I don't-"

"Stop. Please. Just stop. Just like me, you love what we had before. We love the idea..."

"I will always love you." She said so quietly I barely heard it. Tears were running down her pink cheeks. I had to take a deep breath before continuing. I knew I had to get straight to the point or I would, we both would, hurt more in the end.

"Fine. You love me? Leave Edward. Come with me. Marry me."

Her mouth opened and closed several times, her face turning red. "Jasper! I can't do that! I love Edward! I care for you so much but-" She stuttered through tears. It was then that I realized that she had considered that option. I swallowed back the tiny bit of satisfaction before accepting the fact that she chose not to. But, still, she considered.

"If you love me, it's not enough." I said sharply.

"Not enough?" She questioned. It seem to be an almost marvel idea to her.

"If you loved me more you would leave him." I knew I was being harsh, but I didn't care. I had to make this clear. Mainly for myself. I needed to make a clean break.

"Then, I suppose you are right." She sighed, a small sad smile on her face. "I don't."

"But, that doesn't change the fact that we will be a part of each other's lives for the rest of our lives. You're the mother of my child. Your children call my family their own. Your husband works with my father. We need to find a way to co exist."

She nodded, taking a deep breath through her nose and releasing it through her mouth in a gush. "Why don't you sit? Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please." I smiled before going to the large kitchen table. I hadn't had any breakfast this morning and it was already past noon. I hadn't even noticed that I was starting to get hungry through my nerves.

"How do we do this?" She asked, sitting down with her own cup after handing me one. Her fingers twisted around it nervously as she bit her bottom lip.

"I'm not sure..."

Not a minute passed before Erin came bouncing in, a curious look on his face. It was like he was deep in thought. He stood between Bella and I, looking at our mugs.

"Mama, may I have some coffee?"

Bella rolled her eyes. I couldn't help but smile at his question. "No, you may not."

"Aw!" He pouted, obviously disappointed. "But, I'm thirsty!"

"Then would you like some lemonade?" She offered instead.

He clapped his hands together excitedly. "Ah huh!" Bella gave him a little look and he straightened right up. "Yes, ma'am."

I chuckled before hiding it with a sip of my own drink. Bella busied herself with fixing the child a small tin mug.

"Are you my uncle?" He asked suddenly. I almost chocked on the hot liquid in my mouth. I coughed hard, trying to breathe once again.

"Excuse me?"

"Nana Esme said that Auntie Rose is her daughter, so that makes her my aunt. If you're her son, then does that make you my uncle?" It was very obvious that he was thinking the whole thing out in front of me. Bella simply stood there in shock, speechless.

Silence filled the room until finally she shook herself out of the fog. "Honey, don't bother Mr. Jasper."

I put my hand up, stopping her. "He's not. Erin, how do you know I am her son?"

"She showed me pictures and said you were." He shrugged as if it was nothing, playing with his fingers. He was oblivious to the tension in the room. I looked up at Bella, wishing she could tell me what to say to him. Her mouth was open and I could tell she was struggling. So, I decided to take charge.

"So, Rose is your Aunt and Esme's daughter. I'm her son so I guess that would make me your uncle. You're a very smart boy to figure that out." I complimented him.

He smiled brightly, turning to his mother. Bella remained motionless, the tiny tin cup of lemonade still in her hands. He noticed and ran to her, pulling it out of her grasp. "Thank you, mommy!" And, with that he went back to his room.

I looked down at my mug, smiling sadly. "There is no reason to confuse him. He doesn't need to know yet. Besides, he already has a daddy." The words, though true, were sad as the left my mouth._ Painful_. It was beyond heartbreaking. I laughed humorlessly. "You can't have too many uncles."

"Jasper... I don't know..."

"Why? He's solved it for us. It's so simple." I shrugged.

"But later, he'll be so confused..."

I nodded, knowing she was speaking the truth. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, though."

"Can you and Edward stand to be in the same room together? What about holidays? We won't be able to avoid each other then. And, church?"

"I don't want to avoid you. Like I told you before, I want to be a part of Erin's life. So, if you can keep your husband from punching me again, I think I can resist the urge myself."

She smirked, rolling her eyes. "I'm surprised he didn't do more damage to be honest."

"Why do you say that?" I said, my ego slightly deflated. I had always been a good fighter, Bella knew that. I had, more than once, defended her honor.

"Edward, put himself through medical school by being a boxer." She explained, a slight bit of humor in her voice as she sat back down beside me at the kitchen table.

I snorted, taking another swig of the coffee. "Well, that explains the great right hook."

**Wrong, you guys were all wrong. Ha! **

**Now, are you happy they solved the issue with Erin? Now, who's up next?**


	27. Chapter 27

Bella and I talked for a long time after that about, well, nothing really. We spoke to each other like old friends. We even had lunch together, the children sitting between us. We avoided speaking about _us_, Edward, or anything else that would set us off again though. We would have to talk more about it sometime, but for right now, this truce was welcomed. I think we both needed it. We needed the break from the emotional stress.

Around three in the afternoon I excused myself from the table and walked to the door slowly. I didn't want to take the chance that her husband might come home early. "So, you will tell Edward about this?" I muttered, saying his name for the first time in hours. I was trying to pretend that he didn't exist. Though we never brought him up, he was always there hanging over us.

"Of course," she replied, walking towards me with Vanessa on her hip. Her large eyes were soft, a small smile on her perfect lips.

"He won't punch me next time I see him, will he?" I asked with a smile. I was only half joking though. I knew if I were him, I'd punch the hell out of me.

"I don't think so," she giggled, clearly amused by the thought of it happening again. It was nice to see her this way again, especially because I was the cause of it. It felt like it had been so long since I had made anyone smile.

"Good." I smiled slightly.

I couldn't help myself. It was probably a bad idea, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. Alright, not probably. It was a horrible idea, but still, the reason for it remained the same.

I leaned forward, placing my hand on her cheek, and pressed my lips to hers. It wasn't demanding or rough like the other day. Instead it was gentle and full of emotion that I had no real control over, no matter how hard I tried to reign it in. I had to show her my heart, even if it was for the briefest second. We lingered together for a moment before I pulled away, resting my forehead against hers with my eyes shut. Though the kiss wasn't that... _active_... I felt my heart sputter in my chest. I felt like I just ran a mile.

"I love you," I murmured. Before she could say anything in return I pulled away and walked out the door. I didn't want to hear her response. Either way, it would hurt.

I had one more person to see before I went back to my room to think, or sulk rather. I couldn't change over night. I was only human after all. I think even a saint would have difficulty with this day. No one was this good.

But, this one would be the hardest of all. Even harder than Bella, I think.

_Alice. _

I knew the place she lived even though I had never been. It wouldn't be too hard to find it since it was in the dead middle of town. If she was even home that is. I hoped she was. As much as I dreaded it, I wanted to talk to her. I needed to talk to her.

I needed to see her face again.

Once again, I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure which apartment was hers. I'd just have to knock until I found the right one. If that's what I had to do, I would. But, it wouldn't change the fact that I would feel like an idiot in doing so.

It was just about four o'clock, the sky starting to become less luminous even though it would be a couple hours before the sun actually set. Clouds were starting to form, hiding the sun. There would probably be another storm tonight. Not surprising for east Texas in the springtime.

I walked up to the stoop to the building, trying to gather my courage once again. I wasn't sure I had enough left for this. My heart hammered in my chest, my palms becoming sweaty.

There was a couple of girls gossiping brightly to one another, simply lounging on the steps. When I came to a stop in front of them, they looked up and smiled slightly. One flattened her skirt while the other leaned back, taking me in more. The actions were curious.

"Well, hello there," one of them said flirtatiously, a big smile on her over done face.

"Hello," I mumbled politely, making my way past them to the door. They made me uneasy for some reason.

"You looking for someone in particular?" The other asked, obviously ignoring the fact that I wasn't paying slightest bit of attention to her. To either of them, for that matter.

"Alice," I replied, deciding I could at least use them for information if they were determined to talk to me.

"Aw, why?" The brunette said, pursing her lips in disappointment. I couldn't really understand what there was to be disappointed about.

I ignored her question. "Which room is hers?"

The blond snickered quietly like I said something amusing. "Why would you want to go to her room?"

"I have business I need to discuss with her." I said in a professional tone. These women were starting to annoy me. I wasn't sure why they were being so snide but there was no reason for them to be.

"Business, eh?" The brunette giggled quietly.

"I didn't realize she went into the _business_." The blond said with a straight face. Then both women began to laugh, leaning against each other. It took me a moment to realize what they were talking about.

"She is not that way." I said firmly, feeling the disgust for them well up in me. Of course she wasn't that way. But, as I looked at these two I realized that they were. "Would you be kind enough to direct me towards her room?" I said firmly.

The brunette sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Don't know why you'd want to bother. You'd have more fun with us. First floor, third door on the left."

"Thank you," I said curtly before slipping inside. I was sure as soon as I left they'd be chattering about whatever just went on and I didn't want to hear about it at all. I hated the fact that Alice had to live around women like that. I wondered briefly if I could find another place for her to live. A more suitable place for such a wonderful young woman. She didn't need to be associated with women like them.

Before I could dwell on it too much though I was standing at the door. Had I really already done this twice today? And then I'd have to face my mother sometime again soon. At least that didn't have to be today. I don't think I could have handled it. The stress would have been too much.

Too many women to please in one day.

I chewed on my bottom lip for a long minute, trying to decide what I'd say.

"_Hello there, I know you hate me now but..."_

I certainly couldn't start that way. I knew that she didn't hate me really, even if she disliked me me right now. I knew I could fix this. I knew I could change this, if she gave me a chance.

I really wanted that chance.

I gave three quick knocks against the large wooden door, waiting patiently for her to open it. I wasn't even sure she was home. I couldn't hear anything behind the door as I waited, but that didn't mean much. Maybe she was napping. Maybe she was reading...

_Maybe she was with another man right now who was better than me and treated her like a lady, _the guilty voice said in my head.

It surprised me how much that hurt to even think about.

The door slowly cracked open, but just barely. I saw first her large green eyes before it pulled open further, exposing her face. Her hair was piled on top of her head messily, her skin flushed. Tiny beads of moisture were flowing in droplets down the side of her face and over her delicate jaw to her neck. I suppose I caught her when she was washing up for dinner or something. I felt a little guilty for that but I wasn't going to allow that to stop me now.

"Jasper, what are you doing here?" She asked in evident surprise.

"I wanted to talk to you again. I need to-"

"This really isn't the best time." She said quickly, cutting my words.

"Alice, I need to do this. Please? I need to apologize for my behavior."

"Jasper... it's fine. Really, it is." Alice replied just as quickly. I began to wonder what in the hell was going on. Did she not want to see me that badly?

"Can I talk to you inside?" I pleaded softly, feeling horribly guilty now. Had I been that awful that she didn't even want me around her at all?

"This really isn't the best time. May I talk to you later? Tomorrow perhaps?" Before she even finished speaking she began to shut the door.

My impatience got the best of me, I had to admit. I wanted to do this now. I wanted to let her know my feelings and my thoughts before I lost the courage.

I placed my hand on the door, stopping her from closing it. I pushed it open slightly so I could step in to speak to her.

I gasped at what I saw.

_**Hmmm... what do you think he saw? And who thinks that kiss was his way of saying goodbye to Bella?**_


	28. Chapter 28

**I love everyone who said it was Jacob. Lol I hadn't even considered that. Funny funny...**

Standing before me was Alice, clad only in a silken red robe clenched around her tiny waist with a thin sash. The water was running in droplets down her legs, the fabric sticking to her skin. Every curve, every line, of her body was visible underneath the thin cloth. Her long creamy white legs were peeking underneath, giving me a tantalizing view. Her tiny fists clutched at the robe, holding it shut. She must have just gotten out of a bath.

_She was completely nude underneath... _

"I told you it was a bad time." She said in embarrassment, looking down at the floor. Her cute little cheeks were stained red, her bottom lip becoming swollen simply from chewing on it so much. She seemed so sweet and shy.

I have no idea what came over me.

I launched forward, wrapping my hands in her thick luscious hair, twisting my fingers into it. I pressed my entire body against hers, my mouth melding to her silky lips. She stayed frozen as I kissed her in a frenzy, but only for a moment. Her fingers went to my shoulders, gripping tightly as she began to kiss me in return.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered against her lips, only moving enough to get the words out. "I'm so sorry for being a drunken fool. I'm sorry for-"

"Jasper..." She moaned softly, pulling away from my lips before I could say anything else.

"Yea, honey?" I questioned. Had I gone too far? Had I messed up things again? I couldn't stand it if I did.

"Shut up and kiss me."

I grinned wildly, my arms snaking around her waist as I pulled her up to me. She giggled as I began to kiss her with all my passion, all my pent up wanting. With all my lust.

Her fingers went to my hair, tugging it rather roughly. It took me a moment to realize that she probably needed to breath so I lowered my lips to her neck, scattering kisses across the silky soft flesh. She threw her head back and moaned loudly.

"Oh... yes..." She breathed as I nipped at the nape, brushing the collar down a bit to do so.

"Alice, you are so beautiful." I sighed, kissing down her bare shoulder. I pushed the collar down further and further, kissing each spot in turn as it came into view.

"Mm, Jasper..." She groaned as my lips reached her collarbone. I sucked and nipped at the sensitive flesh, flicking my tongue over and over against it. My hands wrapped around her waist tighter, squeezing her to me.

"Say it again."

"What?" She whimpered in confusion. Her fingers gripped tighter in my hair, holding me to her skin. I loved that I was getting this reaction from her. I pressed my_ reaction_ to her against her stomach, letting her feel what she did to me.

"Say my name like that again. It sounded so good." My lips traveled to the other side of her chest, moving my fingers underneath the fabric and pushing it off of her shoulder quickly. The robe clung to her body, hanging loosely around her breasts. I could see the tops of the soft mounds, simply wanting to bury my face within them.

"Jasper..." She said in a sigh. I grinned at the fact that she was humoring me. I kissed downward, rolling my tongue between her cleavage. Alice giggled, her back arching. "Mm, Jasper!"

I grabbed the fabric between my teeth and yanked it downwards. Her deep pink colored nipple was puckered, simply begging to be kissed. With my arms still around her waist, I lifted her up some, wrapping my arms around her waist tightly.

I took as much of her breast into my mouth as possible, licking, sucking, nippling at it. She gasped loudly, her arms wrapping around my neck. While holding me to her breast, she bounced up on the balls of her feet before hoping up and wrapped her legs around my waist. Her hot core pressed against my erection and I could feel her, every bit of her, through the fabric. I felt the cloth become damp against me and I groaned against her breast.

"Uh, oh... yes..."

I heard snickering behind us. I turned quickly, Alice still in my arms. That's when I realized that the door was still open. I kicked it close quickly before those idiot girls could see anything more. Alice laughed to my surprise, leaning forward to bury her face into my neck.

"Jesus," I sighed as I felt her teeth on me. I stumbled forward, pressing her back against the door. My hands went to her ass, massaging it through the cloth. Alice ground against me, continuing to kiss me. " Alice, I want you."

I didn't realize that my words would stop her. If I had, I would have kept my mouth shut. She pulled away, leaning her head back against the door. "We need to stop."

I groaned loudly, leaning my face against her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Unwrapping my arms from around her, I let her drop to the floor. She straightened her robe, covering her lovely breasts. I knew I was pouting, but I didn't care. I backed away and turned, running my hands over my face as I took a deep breath.

"I keep screwing up."

She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, leaning her face against my back. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I pushed you and-"

"You didn't push me, at all. We're just not ready for this. Actually you're not ready for this." Her muffled voice explained. Her tiny hands slipped up my chest, massaging the tense muscles.

I ran my fingers through my hair, taking in a deep breath. I let her words filter in slowly. "Wait. Does that mean you're ready for this?"

She giggled against my back. "Silly Jasper, I've been ready for you since the first moment I met you."

I turned swiftly in her arms and picked her up again, kissing her firmly on the mouth. She groaned loudly, her legs wrapping around me again. This time instead of walking her to the door, I walked her to the bed in the corner of the room. I placed her down gently, hovering over her tiny body. She was so small underneath me. So feminine and delicate. I knelt down to lay over her but she stopped me, placing both hands on my chest.

"You need to leave." She said firmly.

"But, you just said..." I stuttered. "You said you were ready."

"I also said you weren't." She pointed out with a smile, kissing the tip of my nose. I sighed heavily.

"But-"

"Jasper, go home." Alice giggled. "Or, I won't be able to control myself."

"Why would you want to control yourself?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Erin is cute but..." She answered, trailing off to allow me to fill in the blanks. I sighed heavily and laid my head on her stomach for a moment before lifting myself up.

"You may have a point."

She rolled to her side, looking up at me. "Jasper, one day you will be. One day you'll be ready for all of this again."

I looked down at the tent in the front of my pants. "As you can see, I am ready now."

Giggling softly, she took my hand and squeezed. "I promise one day."

I leaned forward, a pout on my lips. Even if I was annoyed I knew she was right. I actually felt a lot lighter. I pressed my lips fully against hers, my hands on her waist. I moved the robe away from her breasts, exposing them to me. "But, half the work is already done," I teased, "you're already nude."

She laughed fully and slapped away my hands, one hand going to the front of her robe to close it while the other grabbed my shirt, pulling me down to her. My lips melded against hers for a long minute, simply enjoying the feeling. She then pushed me back with a sharp shove. "Now, go! Off with you."

I laughed softly, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. "Fine. I'll go."

I turned but she grabbed my hand, tugging me back towards her. She lifted up as I bent down, meeting in the middle. The kiss was slow and sweet, gentle even. She hummed as she pulled away, licking her lips slowly as if to savor my taste. I felt another wave of lust go through my body, but I had to control myself.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jasper."

"Join me for breakfast?" I asked as I made my way to the door. If I didn't do it now I never would. I didn't want to leave. Especially seeing her like that. On the bed, ready for me and only me.

She nodded her head shyly, twisting the fabric of the quilt in her fingertips. "I'd love that."

I smiled stupidly. I knew I was forgiven then. I knew everything would be alright then, at least for now.

**So, Alice forgave him... big time and he got some loving. But you know it's the worst kind of foreshadowing when someone says 'at least for now'. **

**The story only has about a week of updates left... what do you think is going to happen?**


	29. Chapter 29

I walked home in the cool spring rain, not even caring that I was becoming wet. I felt rather light actually still. I didn't feel the heavy anger weighing on me as much anymore. It was as if someone had taken it off my shoulders for me.

_My sister didn't hate me, but she did like me still..._

_Bella didn't flinch at the sight of me, but she was at least talking to me now, even if she wasn't mine to have..._

_Alice wasn't going to burn my breakfast in the morning on purpose, but I still wasn't sure I deserved that sort of treatment from her..._

I suppose you had to make compromises for happiness. And I would make them, even if it was just for a little while. I'd do anything to feel like this a little bit longer. It had been literally years since I had felt like this. Just a small step to getting myself back.

And, I needed myself back badly.

I strolled into the tavern, going directly to the bar. I knew that people we looking at me and wondering if I was going to explode again tonight, but I couldn't find the energy to care. Let them wonder. Let them gossip. I couldn't change any of that and I wasn't planning on giving them anything new tonight.

Emmett was still there I realized. He must have been having a long day, especially if he was working by himself. Perhaps I could help him out sometime. I sat down on a stool and waited for him to notice me. For some reason Thursday nights were a bit busy and it took a while. It didn't bother me though. I had the time.

He turned quickly when he noticed my reflection finally in the mirror above the bar and gapped at me. "Rough day?"

I wondered why he asked that until I noticed my reflection as well. My face was still pretty banged up from my _adventure_ the other night and my clothes were completely soaked through. I looked like something the cat dragged in. I sighed. There was nothing I could do about it anyway.

"Not at all, actually." I shrugged. "Can I have some coffee, please?"

He eyed me nervously. Was I that much of a ticking time bomb? "Are you sure? You don't want a whiskey or something instead?"

I shrugged my shoulders again, trying to ignore his reaction. I knew I'd have to get use to it. It was going to happen a lot over the next... well, I wasn't sure how long it would last. I cleared my throat quickly. "Yeah, I just thought I'd have a cup of coffee before going up to my room for the night. Though, I probably should eat something. What's on tonight?"

He looked a little confused by the question for a moment before shaking his head and answering. "Beef stew and cornbread."

"Great, I'll take some, please." I smiled at him.

Emmett looked at me curiously before shrugging his massive shoulders and handing me a mug of steaming hot coffee. I took it in both hands, enjoying the warmth against my cold fingertips. Perhaps I would take a warm bath tonight after my cold stroll in the rain. The very thought was relaxing. When my brother in law came back to the bar with the food I requested that he have one of his waitresses take some hot water up to my room. He gave me another look but didn't say anything, simply nodded his head.

After finishing my second cup and a piece of apple pie, I pushed myself away from the bar and stood, stretching as I yawned. It really had been a long day for me. I was just about to head back to my room to get some rest and relax when Emmett stopped me, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. "What happened today?"

"I just righted some wrongs." I said softly. "I let go of some things that needed to be let go of. That's all."

"Well, if you did all that I wouldn't expect you to be in such a good mood." He asked, almost nervously. It was like he was afraid to burst my bubble. I sighed, not being able to blame him for it. I wasn't the most stable of people now.

"It just feels nice. I don't have such a heavy burden to carry."

"So, you spoke to Bella then?" He said in an almost hushed whisper.

"And, Alice as well." I smiled at the memory of my 'talk' with her. And the way her body felt underneath my hands and mouth... A slight shiver ran down my spine as the memory made my body respond. I shook my head, wanting not to embarrass myself in front of my brother in law.

"What did you do?" For a moment I thought he was asking about Alice, but I realized that he didn't want to know the details to that. Especially since that was his own cousin and he may kill me for doing those things with her. Or, at least hit me very, very, hard. And, even if he did, I couldn't bring myself to regret it. So, I decided to play dumb. "With who?"

"Bella," he mumbled, rolling his eyes. I knew I was trying to avoid the question. He didn't know the reason why though.

"We just came to an understanding that would be suitable to both of us." I explained vaguely.

"How the hell did that come about?" He asked, leaning in. He reminded me of the gossiping old ladies that tended to visit my mother a lot. It was like he was looking for the newest juicy details. I was not going to give that to him.

"We just did. Now, if you excuse me, I've had a long day and I'd like to get to that bath now." Without waiting for a response I went up the stairs to my room, leaving a gaping Emmett behind me.

I knew it was going to put him off for forever, but it at least gave me a break from him tonight.

The bath was relaxing. Still steamy warm by the time I came up. I undressed quickly, not wanting to lose any more of the heat. I slipped in and laid my head back against the brass lip. I closed my eyes with a sigh, letting my mind wonder back to my thoughts from earlier.

_She slipped off the silky red robe, dropping it on the floor in a puddle around her. Underneath she was completely bare, not a stitch of clothing covering her delicate body. Her ample breasts rose and fell with every heavy breath, a deep blush spreading over them as my gaze took in her body. _

"_Jasper, please..." She begged, biting her lip nervously. _

"_Tell me what you want." I said teasingly. I would make them beg for it. I wanted to know that they wanted me that way. That they were mine and only mine. _

"_Take me! Please!"_

My hand slipped underneath the water and began to massage with my fantasy still running through my brain. I honestly didn't even know who I was dreaming about at this point. It was some kind of mixture of both Bella and Alice. I wanted them both and I was entirely too confused. But, I couldn't dwell on that right now. I was too focused on the feeling I was giving myself.

I went faster and faster as my fantasy became more and more intense. I was so close, my body finally finding some sort of real release for the first time in a long time... It was the first time in a long time that I had relaxed enough to have this kind of feeling.

_I was almost there... so close... _

And, then someone started pounding on the door.

"Yes?!" I shouted from the tub a bit more tersely than I meant to. I unwrapped my hand from myself and gripped the side of the tub as I let my head fall back._ So damn close..._

"Jasper!" Rosalie shouted from the other side. "I want to talk to you! Let me in!"

"No! I'm in the bath!" I shouted back.

"Please!" She pleaded pathetically. "I heard you spoke to the girls. I want to know how it went! Get out of the bath and let me in!"

I laughed. Did she honestly think that that was going to happen? "I didn't tell Emmett and I'm not telling you. Now go away."

I heard a loud huff and a heavy stomp as she left. I snorted as I ran my hands over my face. Well, at least she didn't fight with me too much over it. I looked down at my lap and sighed.

_Well, there went my release. _

I decided since the water was starting to get cold that it was the best idea to get out of the tub. I slipped out, drying myself with a fluffy white towel. I swiped at my hair with it before patting my legs down. I was almost completely dry when I heard another knock at the door.

Alright, this stopped being funny. I really did want to be left alone now. I was getting more than a little frustrated in a couple of ways.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and stomped to the door. I knew I was acting like a child, but I didn't care in the least. "Look, Rosalie, I'm not telling you a thing so you might as well-" I started but stopped when I had the door opened completely and saw who was standing behind it. "Bella, what the hell are you doing here?"

**lol okay for the last time I'm not telling you who ends up with who. Stop asking. As you can see, it gets you no where. You don't have too much longer to find out. Be patient, I promise it's worth the wait. **

**I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far! You guys are awesome! I'm really hoping to reach 2000 reviews by the end of the story. That would be really awesome. **

**Now, if you want a little preview of the next chapter, I want you to add me on twitter. I'm jayeliwood, just like I am everywhere else. You know you're curious. **

**Now, why is Bella there?**


	30. Chapter 30

Bella stood before me, soaking wet. Her long brown curly hair was loose from it's normal twisted bun at the back of her neck and was hanging limply down her back and all the way to her rear in thick wet locks. Her white shirt was soaked through and clinging to her thin body, her muddy skirt sticking to her legs above her ankles. Her face was blotchy red, her skin tear stained and dirty with soot and dirt. Her chest was heavy as she panted through heavy breaths as if she ran here.

"I... I don't... I d-don't k-k-know what t-to d-do..." She sputtered through her tears, her voice raspy.

And before I could realize what was happening she flung herself at me, her tiny arms wrapped around my chest. Bella buried her face in my bare flesh, weeping openly and hard. Her hot breath spread over my skin, her flesh sticking against mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wrapping one arm around her tightly while shutting the door with the other. I didn't want anyone to see us, or rather her, like this. In my arms, me practically nude. The gossip would be endless. I could care less about that for myself, but I didn't want there to be any more problems for her because of me. I had caused enough already.

"T-tonight w-we w-we w-w-went t-t-to-" She stuttered. She was visibly shaking she was so upset. What the hell had happen to her?

"Stop. Take a breath. I can't understand you when you're like this." I said as soothingly as possible. Sometimes, when she was upset, she almost sounded like a child. She took in two large steady breaths and released them through her mouth while her hands tried to wipe away her tears, her forehead still pressed against my chest. I'm surprised she could see anything through them they were so heavy. When she was calm enough, or as calm as she was going to get at the moment, I pulled her away to look at her face. "Now, lets try this again. What's wrong?"

She swallowed hard, releasing a heavy breath in a gush from her pretty pink lips. Even when looking like this she was beautiful. I had to shake myself from my thoughts or I'd regret it later. I had made my decision about Bella and I had to stick with it or we'd all be hurting more in the end.

She was just coming to me as a friend. I was sure of it. Or, at least, that's what I kept chanting in my head.

"We went Carlisle and Esme's tonight for dinner. They invited us last Sunday at church and of course I accepted. We visit them a couple times a week usually. It's always pleasant. The kids enjoy it so much. Anyway, I left right after you left to help Esme along. Edward was going to meet me at their home, like we always do. I didn't have time to talk to him. I had to do it in private. I couldn't very well talk about that in front of your mother and-"

"Wait, wait, wait..." I stopped her before she could ramble on anymore. "You're getting ahead of yourself. What were you going to talk to Edward about in private? About what happened earlier? About us."

"Yes, of course." She rolled her eyes a little bit, getting annoyed that I didn't get it right off. "Anyway, I was going to talk to him about it when we got home tonight. When the kids were in bed and we were all alone. Everything went fine at dinner. Esme even offered to watch the kids for the night so we could have some time alone. It would have been so much easier..."

"Alright, well, that doesn't explain a thing." I muttered.

"After dinner I helped Esme in the kitchen with desserts. She asked about you. I told her... I told her about the visit, I mean. How we sat and spoke for hours. How nice it felt to be that way again. I didn't know that Edward was listening..." She trailed off, in tears again.

"What did he do to you, honey?" I asked quietly, my arms tightening around her little body. I could feel the anger growing inside of me. If he did a single thing to hurt her, I would kill him.

"Edward didn't say anything else the rest of the night. He waited until we were on our way home. Then he just started in! He accused me of hiding it from him. He said that I was still in love with you. He... he said... he..." She began but couldn't get the words out. I moved us over to the bed and sat down slowly with her on my lap, my arms still around her. I rocked her gently, hushing her tears. "He didn't even give me a chance to explain."

"Did you tell him that you made your decision?" I asked a little angrily. I had to hold back from calling him some very nasty names. I gritted my teeth before I spoke the words. "That you love him?"_ And, not me, _my brain added.

"That's just it. He's right. I still am in love with you. I'm just so confused. I don't know what to do." She whispered against my skin, clutching my shoulders in her fingertips tightly.

"So, you came to me? What? To think? Bella... you will regret this later. Honey, your life is with him and you-" I was cut off by her silky and salty lips against mine. Her fingers wound tightly into my hair, holding my mouth to hers.

"No..." She shook her head before kissing me again. "I won't regret this."

With more strength than I thought possible Bella pushed me back against the bed and straddled my waist while kissing me, her lips urgent and demanding as her hands explored my chest. The fact that I was simply in a towel at the moment became very very apparent as I stiffened.

Her wet little body ground against mine, her chest pressing firmly against me as her lips explored my neck and shoulders, hungrily biting at my warm flesh. It felt amazing.

I hated myself for saying this but I had to. I would hate myself even more later if I didn't. "You're only doing this because you're upset. You're just confused. You'll hate yourself in the morning..." I breathed, just trying to get the words to come out of my mouth.

Even to my own ears it sounded as if I was trying to make up excuses. A pathetic list that matched nothing that my body was screaming at me. I wanted her, and badly.

_Had I not just been fantasizing about this woman? Or, at least, in part about this woman. _

"I love you and want to give myself to you..." She whispered as she trailed kisses down my chest, leaving a fiery hot path behind. She was trying to kill me.

"Bella," I sighed heavily, still trying to find the will to protest. I was fighting a losing battle it felt like. I had no real strength against her. I never did.

"We're both ready for this..." She said right before her fingers moved away the towel from my hips and wrapped her soft lips around my aching length.

Never in my life had I felt something like that before. It was amazing for the entire six seconds that it lasted.

I pulled Bella away from me and set her on the bed beside me. "Stop this!" I said firmly as possible.

I could not let her do this. She was wrong. We weren't ready for this. I wasn't ready and nor was she. Alice's words from earlier rang out in my head and a sense of guilt for even being in this place, like this, filled my body. That's when the realization struck me like a train.

_I was falling in love with her even if I was still in love with Bella._

Bella began sobbing heavily at my overly harsh tone, curling herself up on the bed into a little ball. "You don't want me?"

"Isabella, it's not that. I want you so much. I want you with every fiber of my being. But, I love you too much to let this happen. When it was all over with you'd hate us both. Please think this through..." I begged. I begged because even if was starting to fall in love with Alice, my feelings for Bella were still there and just as strong. And after all, I was only a man.

Her arms slid over her head, covering her face and gripping her hair as her knees pressed against her chest. "I don't know what to do." She whimpered, her body shaking with her tears.

I sighed heavily and rubbed her back, simply trying to sooth her. "Neither do I, honey. Neither do I."

**I know most of you guys either want them to end up together or hate Bella with a passion. She's kind of the 'Jacob' of this story. And I know a lot of you think she's a whore, but it's not something a million different people have done over the years. It's hard to be in love with two people at once, especially when those two people are at odds. So, cut her a wee bit of slack. Most of you did in the Twilight Series.**

**Alright, well, I'm going up to the hospital guys... I might take my laptop, I don't know if this one has an internet connection or not. My grandfather in law (is that the right word? He's the only grandpa I've ever had.) is having heart troubles. I think he'll be okay. I hope**

**But, anyway, back to the story. Aren't we proud of Jasper for having that kind of strength?**


	31. Chapter 31

I let her cry herself out. I didn't even bother to dress, simply cover myself back up with the towel. I wouldn't move until I was sure she was asleep. Every time I did try to pull my hand away, or even move in the slightest, she'd whimper and curl tighter into herself anyway and I couldn't stand that. I couldn't stand seeing Bella that way, so I let her be.

It was hours before she was finally breathing normally with the tears gone. For almost an hour she simply gasped for air, heavy panicked breaths passing back and forth through her lips. She had no more left in her tiny little body. When I thought I was sure she was asleep, I quietly pushed myself off the bed and began to walk over to the chest of drawers that held my clothing.

Since she was asleep I didn't bother to be modest. I really wasn't anymore after all that time basically caged up with other men. When so many people were crammed into a single space you didn't have room to be shy.

I dropped the towel to the ground. I was beyond dry now. I had to admit, without even being modest anymore, it was rather odd just sitting there nude with Bella. Especially when at random times she would clutch my leg, her hot breath running over my flesh in little waves. It was embarrassing to get an erection when she was so close it, but she knew the effect she had over my body. She had this effect on me for years. And, there was nothing in this world that would make me pull away now.

I pulled out a drawer and rummaged through it, looking for a pair of clean underwear. I would need to send my clothes out to be laundered soon. I was running low and I sure as hell didn't know how to do it properly.

"Jasper, what happened to you?" Her soft voice said, almost too airy to hear.

"Nothing, darlin'. I'm fine." I responded, quickly pulling the white cotton fabric up my legs. I turned to look at her. She was in the same position on the bed, her knees still pressed to her chest with her arms around them. Her eyes were wide with something I couldn't understand. Was it fear? _No._ It was something different from that. It was worry.

"How did you get those scars?"

"Different ways," I shrugged, not wanting to really tell her. I didn't want to tell anyone for that matter.

"How did you get the ones on your back?" She formed the question in a different way. I knew she wasn't going to give up then and I'd have to tell her something.

"I was bound and whipped." I said rather bluntly, but vaguely. I wasn't going to give all the horrifying details. She didn't need to know these things. No one did.

"Why?" Her eyes narrowed as if she squinted really hard the answer would appear in front of her without me having to say anything. I wish that was the case.

I swallowed hard and licked my lips, suddenly feeling like my throat was a desert. I walked over to my vanity and poured myself a glass of water, chugging it down in a single breath. I poured another glass and walked to Bella. I knew she had to be thirsty after all of that. I knew I would have been. Also, I was hoping to avoid the question. When I handed her the glass I could tell by the look in her eyes that I knew I was not going to get away with ignoring the situation. I sighed heavily before I began.

"There was a large escape effort at the prison I was at. Almost twenty five men working together. They thought that I knew something about it and were trying to get information out of me."

"Why?" She asked, her eyes going wide again.

"I was in the same dorms as them." I shrugged, distracting myself by finding some pants.

"Did you have any information?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Did you tell them?" She asked after a quiet moment. I simply shook my head, slipping the pants I found on quickly, buttoning them in one swift movement. I had to distract myself from the memory.

I heard the bed rustle behind me as her feet hit the floor. The glass of the cup clanked against the wood of the vanity before her tiny feet moved herself towards me. I felt her tiny hands slid down my back, a small kiss being placed on each of my many scars. "Oh, Jasper," she mumbled, "always so loyal."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing, even if it's true." I whispered dejectedly.

Her hands slid to the front of my chest, her lips pressed against my spine. "It is."

I sighed heavily, taking her hands off of me as I turned. "You were always loyal, too." I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "And even if I hate myself for saying it, I won't be the one to change that."

"But who should I be loyal to?" She whispered, her eyes pleading up at me. She was honestly looking for an answer. I sighed, knowing the one I had to give.

"To your husband..."

"But, Jasper-"

"Bella, stop. Please." I begged. I couldn't handle anymore. It was tearing my heart out. I turned away from her slowly, deciding to take matters into my own hands. "Strip."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You're clothes are filthy, as are you. You need to bathe before I take you back to your children and your husband. I'll go down stairs to see if Rose has something for you to wear and to get one of the girls to bring you up some hot water for the bath."

I walked back over to the dresser and put on a crisp shirt. I buttoned them quickly, letting my fingers work absently. "Are you hungry?" I asked quietly, pulling on my boots without any socks.

"No," she whispered. "Jasper, are you really going to take me back?"

"I've already done enough harm to you, honey. You'd hate me for it later. I can't have that. As much as I want to be selfish right now, I know it won't be worth it later." I turned to see her playing with her fingertips, looking down at them with a look of concentration on her face. I could tell she was trying not to cry again. I sighed, placing my hand on her chin, lifting it up so she could look at me. "Explain to him. He will understand."

"Will he understand after tonight?"

"If he loves you, yes. I'd forgive you anything, and if he's smart enough, he will too."

"Thank you," she mumbled, "for everything."

"Of course," I kissed her cheek lightly. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"

She nodded her head slowly and I gave her a sad smile. I didn't know what else to do or say. I knew she was in pain, and I hated that I was a part of it.

I went downstairs, not a single costumer inside the building. It was very very late, or very very early, depending on how you looked at it. I went to the bar, leaning against it as I waited for someone to come. I rubbed my hands over my face roughly.

I was an idiot for turning her down. Wasn't she what I wanted all along?

But, something in me changed yesterday. Something big. I saw a part of myself that I liked again. And if I took Bella away, with or without the kids, I'd be destroying that little piece. I'd be hurting so many people. Edward, Alice, my parents, my sister, the children, and most of all Bella in the end.

I didn't really care about Edward. He was the lucky son of a bitch that got her. But I couldn't be that cruel to him. I knew what it felt like to have my heart ripped out, and even if he helped with the ripping, I wasn't going to inflict it upon him. It was a torture I would not allow on my own worst enemy.

What would it be like if we ran away though? What if we took all the money I had, which wasn't much, got the children, and went to Mexico to live out the rest of our lives? Would we have more children? I could say that she was Mrs. Jasper Whitlock and no one would ever know the difference.

Though, I would.

I felt like I lost either way. It was a hard choice. I felt like I made the right one, but I also knew if Bella kept pushing, I'd fall. I was already so close.

I was so confused and I had no idea what I should do."

"Wow! You're up early!"

**Thanks for all the warm wishes with Pa. He had surgery last night. He seemed okay, other than kind of loopy from the medication they used to put him semi under. (Btw, if my SIL is reading this the offer for a place to stay and drink still stands! We all need a drink at this point.)**

**So, who is talking to Jasper?**


	32. Chapter 32

I jumped, startled by the sudden noise. I turned to look at my sister, looking far too refreshed for this early in the morning. I licked my lips before I spoke, trying to give myself the courage to say this. "I'm glad you're up. You're just the woman I need to see."

"Oh no, what did you do?" She began, putting her hands on her hips.

"Why did I have to do something wrong to see you?" I asked, offended. Not that she didn't have a right to think that. Still, I was not in the mood for her attitude this morning. I had to remind myself to be nice or I'd be in a heap of trouble trying to figure out where to get women's clothing this time of the morning without looking like a fool.

"Um, because I know you, dear. You've always been trouble and you never wanted my help unless were in trouble and couldn't get out of it any other way, even when we were younger. So, what's the matter?"

"I need some hot water sent up to my room." I began. She rolled her eyes, stopping me. I had to bite the inside of my cheek from saying something rude to her. She never let people finish speaking.

"Is that all? Why must you be so dramatic about these things?"

I cleared my throat as she began to turn away, going to tell one of the women in the kitchen to get it from her. I knew they were all there, getting ready for the meals today. She sighed and turned back to me. "What, Jasper?"

"I also need some clothing..."

"Does this look like a dress shop?" She said sarcastically.

"Funny you should say that, because that's exactly what I need." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" She looked at me oddly, obviously getting annoyed with my vagueness.

"Do you have a dress and some underthings I can borrow? I will buy you a new one for you-"

"Wait, why do you need them? Jasper, is there something you need to tell me?" She snickered, finding this funny for some reason. Did she honestly think that the dress was for myself? I could tell that Rosalie wasn't taking me seriously in the least. When she noticed my angry glare she straightened up, her facial expression changing from amused to surprised. "You're serious?"

"Yes, of course I am. Do you think I'd just come down here to ask for a dress on a lark?" I said harshly before I took a deep breath to calm myself. Once I was calm I said quietly. "Please?"

"Why do you need a dress? Oh, my god! Is Alice in your room? She told me that she came to see her and things worked out well. Did she sneak up to see you last night? My, she has little will power. I would have made Emmett work harder for-"

"Rosalie! Stop! It's not Alice. Just, please. Can I borrow that dress?"

"It's... not... Alice?" Rosalie growled angrily. It surprised he hell out of me when she shoved me, making me lose my balance. I landed with a thud on my backside, my sister hovering over me menacingly. "You son of a bitch! How many women are you going to string about? Or, could you just couldn't wait and just had to take it out of your pants? I'm not giving any of my clothing to some whore-"

"It's Bella!" I nearly shouted. I was so grateful at that moment that no one else was there except the women in the kitchen and I doubt they could hear us anyway. I lowered my voice. "It's Bella. She had a fight with Edward last night and she was confused, so she came to see me. She just needed a friendly face. She just cried herself to sleep. That's it! Nothing happened." I left out the part about me being nude the entire time. She didn't need to know that.

"Then why does she need my clothing?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She ran here. In the mud and in the rain. I won't take her back to her children caked in mud and smelling." I said quietly, pulling myself up to my feet finally. I was pretty sure at this point she wasn't going to punch me. Or, at least I hoped so. "And, by the way, she is your mother, too. I can't believe you said that..." I muttered to myself, brushing my backside off. "I should tell her. She'd have a field day. You'd never hear the end of it."

"Fine, fine, fine." She groaned. "I'll get you something for her to wear. I'll get one of the ladies to take some water up. But take her out of here after that. I don't want another brawl in my tavern, especially not this early in the morning."

"I was planning on it." I smiled at her, simply glad that she agreed to this.

"Why don't you take Emmett's horse? You won't get there before the children get up if you walk."

"Thank you, that would be wonderful." I lightly kissed her cheek.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I'll have the clothes sent as well. The horse is out back."

I nodded quietly and went back upstairs. Bella was sitting on the bed wrapped in the quilt, her bare dirty feet sticking out. Her clothes were in a pile on the floor in front of her.

"I'm having some water and clothes brought up for you." I told her, shutting the door behind me.

"Thank you, Jasper. You know you didn't have to do this for me." Bella whispered, lowering her eyes to her lap.

I knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in my own. "Yes, I did."

"You're making this choice so hard..." She whispered quietly.

I sighed, sitting back on my hunches as I rubbed my hands over my face. "There is no choice."

"I want you both."

"Don't say that."

"I can't help it! I'm just so confused!" She began to cry again. I sighed heavily once more and lightly kissed away the moisture on her cheeks.

"I can't believe I'm fighting so hard for that bastard to keep you. He's so lucky and he doesn't even know it." I whispered as I leaned my forehead against hers.

She laughed quietly through her tears. "No, he's not lucky. I'm lucky to have him, to have you both."

"But, you can't have us both." I told her, realizing that I had the same kind of choice as hers.

It has been said that the easiest path is not always the right one. In this case, it was. For both of us. The decision was set for me now.

"I know that..." She responded quietly. Giving me a watery smile, she traced her fingers over my jaw lightly. "Doesn't change the fact that I want you both."

I chuckled, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I realized that I was about to let her go completely. I placed my hand on hers, pressing it into my cheek. "Trust me, I know. I know all too well."

"Alice," she whispered, surprising me.

"You know then?" I whispered, looking up at her. "I'm not sure what there is to know, but..."

"She's in love with you." Bella said quietly. "She didn't want to tell me, but she kind of confessed it. She was just so upset. Then she started listing all the reasons that she did and- and, I guess that it made me remember... "

"She's in love with me?" Bella laughed causing me to frown in response. What was so funny? "What?"

"I loved you from the first moment I saw you and you never knew. Alice is the very same way. For someone so smart you miss so much sometimes. You miss the obvious."

"Why should she love me? I've been nothing but a selfish, self righteous, son of a-"

"For the same reasons I came here tonight." She gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose, giving me a wicked little smile. "You're gentle, kind, loving, and sweet. And, you are loyal. You're a good listener and you are extremely handsome, especially with so little clothing..." She teased. I rolled my eyes, smiling at her.

"Oh, that was your plan all along then?" I laughed. She giggled softly just as someone knocked at the door. I stood to go get it. "If you wanted to see me nude you could have just asked. You didn't have to take a run-" I began to open the door but I stopped abruptly when I saw who was behind it.

"Alice?"

**First off Happy Memorial day for all you American's. I've already made brisket for lunch and I'll be grilling hamburgers for dinner. Don't you wish you were at my house? It's also my seventh anniversary... lol it would be better if he didn't have to work, but oh well! You guys can keep me company with happy reviews, right?**

**Okay, so they're even joking around now... but what's going to happen with Alice around now? **


	33. Chapter 33

"Jasper?" Alice's eyes went wide with shock as she looked between Bella and myself.

_Shit! Shit, shit, shit... _

She dropped the pail in her hands, the water splattering to the floor. At least it landed upright. Boiling hot water was not something I wanted spilled over my girls' feet. Alice turned quick, practically sprinting away from me before it even landed.

I ran after her, grabbing her by the waist before she could reached the stairs. She flailed against me, a broken sob leaving her lips as she fought fruitlessly.

"Let me go!" She shrieked, trying to turn in my arms. I could tell she was going to try to hit me, and I had to stop that.

"Alice, honey, it's not what it looks like." I tried to explain in a soothing voice. She was having none of it.

"It's exactly what it looks like!" She shouted. For such a small thing she was strong. I wrapped one of my arms around her own, effectively caging her in. Her back pressed against my chest as she squirmed wildly. "Let me down now!"

"It's not what it looks like," I repeated, pressing my lips to her ear. "Please believe me." I pleaded in a soft whisper.

"Believe you?! I'm such an idiot to even think that I, that we could-"

I cut her off with a growl, losing my patients already, carting her towards the still opened door. Bella was standing in front of it, a surprised expression on her face. As I approached she backed away from a still kicking Alice.

"Look at her!" I demanded, stilling her flailing with the force of my voice. "And, look at me! I'm clean and dressed. Bella is covered in dirt and look at her hair, how tangled and matted it is. Do you think this is how we'd look after a night... _together_?

"No," she whispered softly, her voice cracking. "But, But- It doesn't explain-"

"It's my fault, Alice." Bella said, stepping in. "Edward and I had a fight last night and I need some one to talk to. He was simply being kind to me. He didn't want me to go home looking this way. He was taking me home to Edward."

"Now, I'm going to put you down. Are you going to hit me?" She shook her head quickly. I sighed, grateful. She was a powerful little thing and I didn't want any more bruises. "Good."

I set her down to her feet, slowly unwrapping my arms from her tiny body. I took a step back, allowing her the space she needed.

"It doesn't change anything." She muttered as she turned, trying to rush past me.

"Goddammit! Wait a second, Alice!" I sighed as I followed behind her once again.

"You'll always want her. I was stupid to think-"

I snatched her wrist from her side, spinning her around and pressing her entire body against the nearest wall. "That is not true."

"Yes, it is!" She sobbed quietly, my heart breaking at the sight.

I leaned in, my eyes locking with hers. "I want you." She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. I leaned in a little further, my lips inches away from her own. "I want you," I repeated in a breath. I smiled slightly as her eyelashes fluttered when my lips brushed against hers in the softest of kisses.

Her free hand came up and wrapped around my neck, lacing with my hair. "How can I believe it though?"

I cupped her cheek, kissing her again. "I'm letting go of the past."

"But-"

"Bella is the past. You are my future."

She kissed me then, soft and sweet. I took a step forward, pressing my body against hers, letting her feel my desire for her. She pulled her wrist free from my loose grip, resting it on my chest. Her fingers curled around my shirt, tugging me closer.

Then I heard the door slam behind us.

Bella.

_Dammit..._

I sighed, leaning my forehead against the wall. "I should speak to her."

"Jasper? May I?"

I looked down at the dark haired girl still pressed against me in surprise. "What?"

"Let me, please?" She said softly. Her eyes were full of such kindness. I knew she understood this and she was far better than I deserved.

"Are you sure?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out why she would. She nodded her head, giving me a reassuring smile. "Fine," I agreed, "I'll go check on those clothes for Bella"

Something struck a chord in my head. Clothes. Rosalie... My sister had sent Alice up here to catch us.

_That evil little..._

"I'm going to kill her!" I seethed.

"What?" Alice asked with a slight laugh at the randomness of comment.

"My sister."

"Why?" She scrunched up her nose, confused.

"She sent you up her to-"

Something dawned on her. She must have realized what I was talking about. "No. She didn't. Mrs. Sue said she was coming up here and I offered to take it up instead. I wanted to surprise you. I guess I'm the one that was in for the surprise."

"Oh," I said, surprised by that information.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for thinking that of your sister." She nudged my shoulder, making me move so she could go towards the door. "Even if it does sound like something she'd do."

I grinned at her honesty. "Alright, I'll be back in a minute. Are you sure you want to?" She nodded her head again, her dark black hair bobbing a bit. She smiled at me again, a warm feeling flowing over me as she did.

Rosalie was in her office when I got downstairs, leaving the clothes at the bar for me to grab. It was probably a good thing. I didn't want to talk to her again. I didn't want another fight.

It was odd to knock on my own door, but I did. The door opened a small crack and a hand came out to snatch the clothing from my hands before the door slammed shut again. I waited by the door, sitting on the floor, waiting for the women to emerge. It was an hour before they finally did. I don't know if I was relieved or worried that it was so quiet in there.

Bella was dressed, her hair neatly braided down her back when she came out. She looked a hundred times better than what she did when she first arrived last night.

"Ready?" I asked as I rose to my feet.

"Yes," she answered almost shyly.

"We're taking Emmett's horse, so it wouldn't take too long to get back. I'll meet you downstairs?" I asked Bella.

She silently nodded, squeezing Alice's hand as she went. Alice came in front of me, smiling sweetly. "Everything will be fine now, I think."

"That's good." I said, not sure what else to say. "So much for breakfast." I mumbled after a moment, rubbing a hand over the back of my neck shyly.

"How about dinner instead?"

"When?" I smiled at her offer, looking up at her. It sounded like an amazing idea.

"Tonight, at my apartment. After work?" Alice replied, taking a step towards me.

"That would be perfect." I took another step towards her, my hands going around her waist. I had to be closer to her.

She lifted up on her tip toes, pressing her lips to my ear. "I'll be ready for you..."

And with that, she danced off.

I shuttered at what those words could possibly mean. The possibilities were..._ endless_.

After I made my way downstairs and outside, I pulled Bella up on the horse with me, letting her sit in front of me. "Are you alright?" I whispered softly as we began to ride.

"Yes. It was just harder than I thought."

"What was?"

"Seeing you with someone else." I saw her hands tighten on the saddle, her knuckles turning white.

I let out a small laugh without humor. "Now you know exactly how I feel."

"I'm sorry." She said sincerely as she turned her head towards me, tears filling her eyes.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips against the soft flesh of her cheek. "Nothing to be sorry about."

The rest of the ride was silent as we moved towards my mother's home. We never discussed it, but she didn't have much choice in the matter. I wasn't going to give her one.

I helped her down, setting her to her feet without getting off the animal myself. "You stay here until he apologize to you."

"But, he shouldn't-" She began to argue but I stopped her.

"Yes, he should. For yelling at you, for making you feel like you had to run."

"Jasper, what are you going-" She began to ask but she was cut off, not by me this time, but by my mother who was on the porch.

"I should have know you two were together. Edward came this morning before he left for the office. He thought you were here for some reason. I told him that I wouldn't call you from your bed. He was none too happy about that." She began, placing her hands on her hips.

"Esme, I- I- I-" Bella stuttered, grasping for something to say. I jumped in before she could embarrass herself any further. Her cheeks couldn't handle turning a brighter shade of red.

"She stayed at the tavern. I offered to escort her back here." I replied smoothly. None of it was a lie, even if it wasn't the whole truth.

She didn't need to hear the whole truth. Some things were better left unsaid, especially to a parent.

My mother searched my face, looking for something. She must have found it because she nodded before speaking again. "That's nice of you. Will you be joining us for breakfast?"

"No, thank you. I have some business I have to attend to."

Bella looked up at me with pursed lips but said nothing as I left. She couldn't and that was a good thing. It wasn't like she could have talked me out of it. It would have been a waste of breath.

The ride back into town was a lot faster than the one to my mother's home. I pushed the horse towards my mission, spurring him hard.

I had a doctor to see.

**One more chapter and then an Epilogue! Woohoo... **

**Now, for anyone who doesn't understand, Jasper is a male and men don't apologize to other man. Seriously, I think they're allergic to it, especially to someone they hate. And no matter what, Edward will be a sore spot for Jasper. This next chapter is their way of working it out, if that makes sense. It's really not about apologizing to Bella in the end, it's coming to an understanding. **

**Yes, I know, you hate Bella and she doesn't deserve an apology. Well, life is like that sometimes. **

**So, I'm thinking... if I get 60 reviews I may update the next chapter faster. What do you think? Even if I don't, it'll be up tomorrow. **


	34. Chapter 34

I rushed inside, not giving him a chance to even realize who I was as I entered. In three swift steps I was in front of him. I extended my tightly clinched fist quickly, connecting solidly with Edward's jaw, throwing his gold glasses across the room with quite a bit of force. I grabbed him by the shirt collar then before he was able to hit the floor, slamming him against the wall that was about three feet behind us.

"What the hell was that for?" He shouted angrily, his accent thick with hostile emotion. Like he really couldn't figure it out. It wouldn't be too hard connect the dots, but I decided to spell it out for the good doctor.

"That was for making Bella cry. And, this," I punched the other side of his jaw, just as hard, "this is for taking her away in the first damn place. I owed you for that." Then I hit him again before my hand returned to his collar, lifting him higher against the wall. He was standing on his tip toes, about an inch above me.

"And, that?" He groaned in pain, his hands clutching my wrists as he struggled to get free.

"That was because I simply dislike you." I said smugly, feeling rather proud of myself.

"Well, that's certainly a rational reason." He replied sarcastically in a strained voice, his hands trying to push mine off, but they held tight. He might have been a boxer, but I was still bigger and most likely stronger. I wasn't drunk this time and he was not going to lay a hand on me.

"Now, you listen and you listen good, you potato eating bastard. Bella is a good woman and she never ever deserves to feel the way you made her feel last night. She was scared, confused, and lost. And I could have easily convinced her to leave with me. We would have taken the children, left this country, and you'd never seen any of us again. And if she ever comes to my door crying again, I will, but not before I beat you senseless." I warned him. "I never want to see her in pain like that ever again."

I slammed him into the wall once more for good measure before releasing him. Honestly, I just wanted to beat the hell out of him.

"What?" He asked, confused. What was there to be confused about? For a doctor he certainly was dense.

"She cries. You'll hurt. We'll leave." I said simply, putting it in words that anyone would understand.

"Why didn't you last night? That would have been your perfect chance to." He asked in a whisper, his eyes trained on the floor. They were moving frantically, like he was searching for the answer.

"I can fetch her from my mother's if you'd like." I threatened.

His head snapped up, looking up at me with a frightful expression. "No! It's just, I mean... I would have thought that-"

"I love her too much to let her regret. I hope you feel the same way. You better not let her regret her choosing you and you sure as hell better not let me regret the decision to let her go."

"Let her go?" He said each word slowly as if to savor their very meaning.

"It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But, Edward, she's having to do it twice. And if you make her feel guilty about being confused, you're a bigger jackass than I thought." I growled at him.

He put his face in his hands before roughly dragging them through his wild red hair. "I won't," he whispered.

"Good. Now, about Erin. You may be his daddy but I'm still his father. I will be a part of his life. I will see him and Bella and I will remain friends. There is nothing in this world that will change that. If you can't handle that, you better tell me now. I want to know if I need to go ahead and deal with this _problem_."

Edward licked his bottom lip before nodding slowly. He was actually thinking it over. He didn't really have much of a choice. "We have to stop trying to kill each other then." He replied almost sarcastically.

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already." I muttered mainly to myself. "But, I agree."

"I still hate you." He said with a fiery passion glowing his green eyes. He stood slowly, brushing off the back of his slacks. "That won't change."

"I feel the exact same way."

At that moment my stepfather walked in. He was just coming in from somewhere, in his jacket and carrying his leather doctor's bad. When he took the scene in; Edward bloody and bruised with me standing there with my fist clenched, he gasped loudly.

"What is going on here?!" He demanded.

"None of your concern. Everything has been taken care of." I replied, walking towards the door.

"Taken care of? What do you mean 'taken care of?'" He asked, obviously not believing me and getting mad. I really couldn't blame him for that. We were in his office after all.

"It's fine, Carlisle. Really." Edward replied to him, picking up his glasses and replacing them on his bruised face.

I opened the door and began to slip out before anything else could be said. I didn't want to be here anymore. I had things to do.

"And, where do you think you're going?" Carlisle asked in a fatherly tone. It reminded me so much of my years before I left. I smirked before I answered, not turning to face him. I knew I would have to deal with him more later, explain to him, but not right now.

"Work."

For the second time in a week I was having a green apple for breakfast. I threw the change in the till, taking a large bite before Jacob even had a chance to say a single word to me.

"Rough morning?" He asked, smirking slightly. _Amused Bastard. _

"Mm," I mumbled in response, too busy chewing to say anything else.

"You know as late as you are, you'd think you'd have time for breakfast at least."

"Shut up," I groaned before taking another bite.

"That's not a very nice way to talk to your boss." He chortled, my annoyance amusing him far too much.

"No wonder the last guy left. You're an ass." I insulted, finishing the fruit and throwing it into the trash pail by the till.

He chuckled, throwing me an apron. "So, did you get it all worked out?"

I thought about that for a second before I responded. "As worked out as it's going to get right now."

My thoughts wondered to the two women I had in my life now. Both now friends, one maybe, hopefully, more. I licked my lips slowly, remembering the kisses we shared today and yesterday and how she made me feel. I wanted to feel that again. I hope that we could return to those activities this evening.

_That reminded me..._

"Hey Jake, you wouldn't happen to have any sweets, would you?"

It took me longer to find some decent flowers than I thought it would. It took me longer to pick them out anyway. I wanted them to be perfect for Alice. I knew it was silly but I wanted to give her something. It wasn't much and I wasn't sure what she liked, but I hoped that this would be alright.

It was just after sunset when I arrived at Alice's door. I could smell something delicious on the other side. Roast, maybe? I couldn't be sure but it made my stomach rumble. All I had had today was that apple. As much as I wanted to get to that food, I wanted to see Alice more.

I knocked on the door twice before lowering my hand. In one arm I had both a bunch of red roses and a tiny box of chocolate candies. They weren't enough and I felt silly now for even getting them. I looked down, trying to figure out what to say to her when I saw her.

That's when it occurred to me that I was nervous. I was nervous because I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to approve of me and my gifts. I flushed when I realized that I hadn't felt that way before about anyone besides Bella.

I heard the door begin to open and I had a greeting on my tongue but it died as soon as I saw her standing there. She was wearing the most lovely forest green dress, the shade bringing out the color in his eyes. It clung tightly to her body, spreading out at her hips and puddling at the floor. Her thick long hair was loose from it's normal holds, tumbling in perfect curls down her back. Her lips were painted a red, pulling my attention directly to them. I had never see anything so sensual in my life.

She leaned against the door frame, a sweet smile on her lips as she looked over me. She started at feet and worked her way up before finally resting on my eyes. Her smile grew mischievous, her eyes sparkling brightly in the lamp light coming from the room behind us.

"You've kept me waiting," she whispered in a low voice that made every single thought in my head leave in a hurry. After a moment of not speaking her smirk became more pronounced, more amused. I realized then that I needed to say something, anything. She took a step forward, placing her hand on my chest. It slid up slowly, resting on my shoulder. I noticed that she was still wearing the golden band on her finger. I also noticed then how much I enjoyed seeing it there.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, still holding the items in my hands. I pulled her close to my body, looking down at the beautiful creature. I leaned down slowly, my lips inches away from hers before I spoke in a soft whisper. "I'm sorry, ma'am."

**The End!**

**Yup, that's it! Then the epilogue. I hope you enjoyed it. I know some of you didn't enjoy the characters or some of the things they did, but remember this was my first attempt at angst. **

**So, if you like my writing style and I want to see more from me, put me on author alerts! I have two more ideas I am working on and hope to start posting at least one of them by the end of June. **

**Thanks for all your support and I'll see you tomorrow with the epilogue. **


	35. Chapter 35

"I can't believe I'm going to be related to that bastard." He mumbled dejectedly as he adjusted his tie in the mirror. He looked simply amazing in his deep gray suit and vest, white gloves on his long fingers. Even going almost completely silver now, he was the most handsome man I knew. Age did nothing to remove from that. In fact, I think he improved with age.

I giggled at my husband, walking over to him. He turned slowly, sighing. He was never good at ties. I slid my hands up his firm chest to the fabric before beginning to work on it. I kept my eyes on my work as I began to speak. "It's been almost twenty years. You should get over it."

He pursed my lips, disliking my answer. It was the same answer I gave him every single time he said something like this. I knew that he was really over it, he just simply enjoyed the feud for some odd reason. It was a love hate relationship. Both of them loved to hate each other. It gave them something to do. But, I always had to do this to him. I mainly did it so I could see his delectable lips in that way. It made them so kissable.

After all these years, we were still madly in love and I was not afraid to show it.

"But," he whined softly, his hands resting on my hips, "must they get married?"

"You may not approve, but our son is in love. Can you really blame him? You know how that feels." I reminded him for the thousand time since we had learned that he had asked their daughter to marry him.

"Yes, I know, Alice." He sighed, pulling me closer once I was done with the tie. He leaned down and lightly kissed my lips. "But, honestly, married?"

I laughed softly making him scrunch up his nose. I lifted my gloved hand to his hair, brushing the wild silver curls away from his eyes. They were the exact same blue they were when I met him all those years ago. I lifted up on my tip toes, kissing his chin. I didn't want to ruin my make up so I pulled away before it could go any further. "Jasper, you cannot choose who you fall in love with."

I moved away from him, taking over the large mirror to put the finishing touches on. I only need to put on my earrings now. He came up behind me as I put the bobbles in, resting his chin on my shoulder as his arms snaked around my waist. "Yes, I know that." The grin on his face was amazing.

I sighed in happiness as his lips traveled down the side of my neck, teasing me. He always had the best kisses.

I couldn't help but think back on our life together so far as his mouth moved over my flesh, like it had done so many times before...

Things settled down after that night, in a way. Time still flew by quickly but it wasn't as hard. It was rather joyous actually.

Within two months we were married. He asked me the same day that I found out I was pregnant. I decided not to tell him until after the wedding, which was held a week later. We didn't want anything huge and he didn't want to wait, which I was happy for. It made things easier. On the night of our honeymoon I told him that I was ready for him that first night in more ways than one.

He dropped to the floor like a rock and hit his head on a table. We spent the rest of the evening with Carlisle while he fixed the wound with a needle and thread.

Seven months later our eldest was born. A young boy with bright blue eyes and curly blond hair. Jackson was beautiful. The memory of Carlisle holding his grandson seconds after he was born is one of my favorites of him. The look in his eyes when he handed the child over to Jasper, it made my heart soar. He could only stay a moment though. He had to help Edward deliver Bella's youngest and last child. A baby girl by the name of Anna. I knew right then that our families would be connected forever in more than just one way.

After that, it seemed like time never really slowed down. When Jackson was about a year old Jasper and Jacob went into business together and opened a general merchandise shop in a nearby town. Within five years they had turned a great profit and Jasper decided to open another shop in another local town.

In between them they now owned ten stores, five of which Jasper owned privately. He had done well for himself and it showed.

Between the business and our eight children, seven of which were girls, our life was amazing and full. Happy.

He deserved that though after all he went through.

He nibbled on my ear, pulling me out of my thoughts. I sighed, my stomach tightening in desire. I leaned against him, closing my eyes as my head lulled to the side. "What are you doing, Mr. Whitlock?"

"Tasting what is mine," he muttered in a possessive voice that I loved. Jasper's hand slid up my waist, cupping my cloth cover breast. He squeezed and massaged, his lips descending on the bare nape of my neck.

"Oh, Jasper, we don't have time for this..." I complained breathlessly. We had to be at the church in an hour. I wanted to get there in time to help Anna get ready. I adored her and she was like a daughter to me, even before now.

"But, Mrs. Whitlock," he said in a teasing voice. I knew that voice all too well. It was the one that he used most of the time before we conceived our children. "I'm _ready_ for you."

I felt him press his arousal into my back and I moaned softly. I wanted him. I always did and I always had. I turned in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. He grinned in victory, holding onto me tightly. I could see the very thoughts in his head.

_Makeup be damned. _

His lips crashed into mine, kissing me over and over again, his tongue demanding. I relented to him happily, moaning into his mouth. His hands searched up my back for the laces to my dress, trying to figure out desperately how to get this thing off of me. But, before he could pull a single string, I felt a tugging at the bottom of my dress.

I pulled away, looking down at what was doing the tugging, or rather, who was. Looking back up at me was a black haired blue eyed child, a little grin on her face. She was dressed finely in a blue dress, making her eyes pop with the color. Her sisters had already dressed her, thankfully.

Jasper groaned softly, laying his head on my shoulder to take a deep breath. I knew he didn't want to stop. I didn't either, but I was still grateful for the interruption. As it was, I already needed to redo my makeup.

"What do you need, Katie?" Jasper asked, annoyance in his voice. I tried not to giggle, smiling to myself.

"Daddy, you have red stuff on your face." She said, a curious expression on her face.

At that I laughed, I couldn't help it. Jasper, on the other hand, sighed and looked into the mirror. "Yes, I do darling, now what do you need?"

"Amanda says we're all ready." And with that, she danced off into the living room to rejoin our other daughters.

Jasper groaned once again, taking a deep breath as he laid his head against my shoulder. "I suppose we need to go then?"

"We do, after you wash that lipstick off your face." I giggled, poking him in the stomach.

After quickly reapply my own we walked out in the den, all our children gathered in waiting for us. Our oldest daughter, Amanda, was playing with our youngest, Katie. Our twins, who were thirteen Shannon and Stephanie were playing a game of checkers on the middle of the floor. Bonnie, who just turned sixteen, was trying to show Nora, who had turned six this month, how to sew. Leslie, the middle girl, was reading a book. Pacing by the door way was dear Jackson, looking as nervous as ever.

"There you are! What took you so long?" He demanded, throwing his hands over his head.

"Calm down, boy. We're not going to be late. It doesn't start for another hour, at least." Jasper said, picking Katie up and placing her on his hip. The rest of the girls stood up, fluffing up their dresses and dusting them off.

"But, I wanted to be early!" He complained, opening the door and walking out before we even got a chance to reply. I smirked at Jasper who returned it before turning to our little girl.

"When you marry, promise me you'll be less wound up than your brother." He said, nuzzling her neck. She giggled loudly.

"Alright daddy!" She agreed, not even knowing what he was saying. "Lets go to the church!"

It wasn't a far walk to the church and it was quite pleasant in the warm spring weather. Jasper held my hand the entire way, our girl in his other arm still. As soon at the doors came into view, and I saw who was standing in front of them, I squealed.

Bella and I embraced, hugging each other tightly. "I thought this day would never come!" She giggled. I could tell she was already on the edge of tears.

"Perfect day for it too, isn't it?" I smiled as I pulled away. I turned to her husband, hugging him as well. I didn't miss the soft growl that passed Jasper's lips. We, of course, ignored his behavior. It was nothing unusual. Edward did the same thing when Bella hugged Jasper.

"I think someone owes me fifty dollars." I said as I pulled away, raising an eyebrow.

"You will not see that money, little girl, until they say I do." He shot back quickly, a childish grin on his face.

On the day of their birth, I saw it perfectly. A wedding day between the two of them, joining our families together. I told Bella about this and she thought it would be lovely. Edward on the other hand argued about it, saying that he bet it would never happen. I took him up on that bet. Now, twenty years later, I intended on collecting.

"Father, I do not know why you enjoy arguing with her so. You know she is right and you will owe her." Erin walked up, hand in his pocket, the other holding the tiny woman's hand. He was the spitting image of Jasper. Behind him his tiny wife, Heidi, stood beside him, leaning against him for support. She was due any day now and we simply prayed that she would not give birth today. I had a feeling otherwise though. It would be our luck.

_Jasper's first grandchild... _

"Hello, Jasper," Erin smiled, taking his hand and shaking it gently. He knew who his real father was, and he accepted it. He also accepted Jasper's choice to stay back in the shadows to allow him to have a better life. He respected him for it. That day was by far one of the hardest of Jasper's life, when he had to explain it to his first son.

"Well, hello there, doctor. How are you today?" Jasper said proudly, patting his shoulder. He leaned over and kissed his wife on the cheek. "You're looking lovely today, my dear. You're glowing."

"I'm not glowing. It's sweat." She complained, pressing her face into her husband's shoulder. He lovingly kissed the top of her head, trying to hide a smile.

"Dear, southern women do not sweat. We glisten." I said teasingly, making Bella smile and giggle. Heidi cracked a small smile. I could tell she was uncomfortable. I felt bad that she had to be out in her condition in this heat.

"Where's Anna?" Jackson asked nervously, pulling us out of our conversation. His face flushed bright red. Someone would have to do something about him before he fainted from over excitement.

"Getting ready in the back. Alice, would you care to join me? Girls?" Bella asked sweetly. "Esme and Rosalie are already in there."

Together we walked back and held the young girl prepare to bind our two families together forever.

An hour and a half later we were seated in the tiny church. It was filled to the brim with all the people we knew. It was lovely, even if it was getting too hot with all the bodies. Jasper wrapped a tight arm around me, kissing away my happy tears. I saw Edward doing the same thing to Bella.

During the reception everyone ate and danced. Eventually Jasper asked Bella to dance so Edward asked me in return. You would have thought it was odd, but whenever there was an activity with dancing it happened. No one was really that jealous. We were all friends somehow in some sort of way.

"You look beautiful today, Alice." Edward complimented sweetly, holding my hand and placing a gentle one on my waist.

"Thank you, Doctor. You look rather handsome yourself but don't think that flattery will get you out of owing me that money." I corrected him. He sighed heavily and pulled out a folded bill from his pocket. With a teasing smile, I shoved it down my corset for later. He rolled his eyes, laughing at me.

"You are one of a kind." He smiled, kissing my forehead. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "You know, even if I don't like him, I am glad he found you. He is a lucky man."

"Thank you," I blushed, ducking my head down.

"I mean it." He said softly, pulling away at the end of the song.

I opened my mouth to say something but stopped when I heard frantic shouting. "Everyone! Anyone! Come quick! She's having the baby!"

**So, there's the epilogue. I kind of decided to do a New Moon sort of thing and changed up the POV. I wanted to do something fluffy since I had all that angst. No, there won't be a sequel but I may try to do somethings in someone else's POV. If I do, I'll let you know, but just in case, put me on alert! Yeah I know, shameless. **

**I hope you enjoyed the soap opera, and yes, I meant it to be that way. Thanks for everyone who reviewed. I was really hoping to reach over 2000 reviews for this story but I kind of doubt it will happen, but I didn't think it would since this isn't a EB story in their POVs. For being what it is, I had to admit I am impressed... so, saying that, Thank you so much for reading!**

**Who thinks Jasper in a suit is kind of hot?**


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